Phönix - The Warrior

Recipe: a dozen scantily-dressed strippers out in the desert with guns and a few dune buggies. Build sets from found items. Sketch out a hack script, then let the girls improvise actual dialog. Add one desperate-for-the-big-time actress who once had a good part in a big-budget movie. Roll 'em!

This appears to be the sad result of someone taking money for production, spending it elsewhere, and then quickly filming this over a weekend so they wouldn't have to return what they'd spent. There are worse films; the images are in focus, dialog is audible, and the uncredited soundtrack improves as the film goes on. But there isn't anything to see here that isn't done better elsewhere -- namely, AMAZONS from the year before (1986), which had actual sets (left over from Deathstalker) and a lead actress who had actual weapons training. See that instead, and skip this.

First of all, this is not the most well known movie, haha. It is also not that great of a movie if you are looking at it too critically. Then again, this movie is not meant to be perceived in that way, at all. My friend and I like to enjoy these obscure little movies sometimes and he told me this one was definitely worth seeing. If you can handle it for what it is, it is indeed a must-see.

The movie itself is very campy, as anyone can tell from the film cover. There are mixed performances ranging from very good to very bad, very fun to very boring. The storyline, which I don't recall much of, is a contender for Best Screenplay indeed, and the movie altogether is just one big mess, but a very enjoyable one at that. No doubt this was made for those types of movie-goers who look for campy, nothing movies. However, I myself tend to be that type of movie-goer at times and this was just what I ordered when I was in the mood for it. Like I said in my summary, it's a poor movie when it all boils down to it, but it really doesn't matter because it is so fun to watch.

After a biological war has annihilated all the males on earth and most of the females, those few women who survive are left to fend for themselves in an effort to stay alive. Many of them soon gravitate to a particular evil sorceress known as "the Reverend Mother" (Sheila Howard) who mysteriously manages to impregnate some of the women but ensures that no males are born. Until, that is, one specific woman named "Keela" (Peggy Sands) becomes pregnant with a "male seed". Realizing that the Reverend Mother is determined to kill her unborn child, Keela attempts to escape from her domination. During the attempt she encounters a "sand trapper" named "Phoenix" (Kathleen Kinmont) who provides protection and support both before and after the child is born. Now, obviously with a title like "She Wolves of the Wasteland" a person probably shouldn't expect too much. And they would be fully justified in feeling wary as this film consists of bad acting, cheap sets and corny dialogue. It does, however, have an abundance of bimbos in skimpy attire which may be a good thing or a bad thing depending on your particular mindset. I personally didn't mind the acting of Kathleen Kinmont or Persis Khambatta (as "Cobalt") or the skimpy attire on any of the young ladies. However, skimpy attire or not I could only take so much of the bad acting and awful combat scenes. But that's just me. In short, this movie might be good with a friend or two and lots of beer. Otherwise, it might be best to let this one go by. Below average.

Poor Persis Khambatta. This stunningly beautiful actress did not leave us with a long (or even a short) catalogue of exceptional films. She will always be remembered as the Deltan Lieutenant Ilia in 1979's "Star Trek: The Motion Picture" (which, let's face it, wasn't that great of a movie either), but other than that, she appeared in a handful (12, to be exact) of films that were mostly eminently forgettable. And none of them was more forgettable than "Phoenix: The Warrior," aka "Warriors of the Wasteland." As one of the film's thumbnail summaries puts it, "Big hair, big guns and a serious lack of wardrobe. A post-apocalyptic story that features women who leave little to the imagination as they do battle in junkyards and gravel pits."

It's tough to review a movie when what's bad about it is everything. Where do you start? The preposterously nonsensical plot? The hopelessly flat-footed dialogue? The even more hopelessly amateurish acting? The grotesque hair? The clownish makeup? The hysterically skimpy costumes? The bad-home-movie production values?

Why did Khambatta take this role? Was it to pay the bills? Was it the only work she could get, at least in the States? It's so sad: She had a disastrous combination of a chain-smoking habit and bad genes that led to her needing a coronary bypass operation at the age of 35. Despite the operation, she went on to die of a massive heart attack only 10 years after she made this dismal dog of a movie. R. I. P.

You are the last man on Earth and lots of scantily clads babes rule the wasteland. Wow, this is my type of story line and if its your to then this will be a winner.

This movie was a mainstay of USA Networks former weekend show UP ALL NIGHT. Simply put this is great late night cheese well worth checking out. I have seen the video box (Boris cover art I believe) at several video stores, so no excuses.

P.S. Watch for the well endowed axe wielding babe in the prison fight. Super!