Commando Squad

Brian Thompson (Wonder why he always plays support in Van Damme movies, here is why) stars as commando who is kidnapped by a bunch of Latin drug-lords who are no match for him or his girlfriend (The hopeless Kathy Shower) and her team of DEA agents. This was made to capitalize on Andy Sidaris' type of movies that for some reason have proved to be popular among genre fans. (It must be the playmates and their boobs) The movie is very badly made with scenes that make little sense and the action sequences are done very poorly. I never was a fan of the action flicks from Andy Sidaris since the truth of the matter is that I can always rent a porno, still even fans of the bimbo action movie are better off with Andy Sidaris' pictures then wasting their time here.

* out of 4-(Bad)

Most people will never give a break to any former Playboy Playmate trying to make it into the movie business, but IMO Kathy Shower does a pretty good job in this film. She's no Dona Speir (whom I consider a perfectly credible action actress), but she doesn't embarrass herself either. She has presence, she has attitude and she has self-assurance, and remember: sometimes how you sell what you can do is more important than what you can actually do. If it seems like I'm focusing too much on Kathy, it's because the rest of "Commando Squad" is an utterly routine actioner, with Brian Thomson as the token male lead and William Smith, Sid Haig and Ross Hagen as the trio of slimy villains. But considering the low (as usual) budget that Fred Olen Ray had to work with, the results are at least passable. (**)

I thought that this movie seemed kind of cool when I first heard about it, but when I watched it, I was pretty disappointed.

I thought that Brian Thompson was going to go out there and do some good ol' fashioned ass-kicking, while hauling this chick alongside him. But instead he was just a prisoner getting tortured during the most of the movie, and even had to be saved by that little chick!(Kathy Shower)

I thought their "fake love-scene" was funny, and explosions are always funny, but this reminded me a bit too much of a long TV-episode of "the A-Team" or something like that.. lots of explosions, shooting, jumping around and making (un-funny) jokes... in fact, I would rather watch an episode of the A-team than watching this movie once more....

I think that Brian Thompson was much better in "Three Amigos!" and "Terminator", even though he didn't get as much playtime in those films. And Kathy Shower looks better on a poster than in an action-movie.

If you watch this movie and think it was robbed at Oscar-time, then you should probably get your head checked or something....

It would sweep all the awards at the raspberry awards, I think.

But the Crappo-Squad still was an okay "one-time-watching" experience, so just go see it anyways... but no more than two times... your brain could take serious damage of watching movies this bad! Well, now I'm exaggerating a bit perhaps...it would've been very good, if it had been a TV-series. But not as a full-length movie.

I would give it 4/10, and *½/****

You can add in poor film stock. "Commando Squad" was released in 1987 and has the look of an early Fred Olen Ray effort (The Brain Leeches, Sleazemania, Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers). It suffers considerably when compared to "Cyclone", another of his 1987 films which was much better as an exploitation film as it featured Heather Thomas and Ashley Ferrare nicely showcased in sexy outfits, competent lighting, good film stock, and one of the best ever movie catfights.

"Commando Squad" went with Kathy Shower, still fresh from being named Playboy Playmate of the Year in 1986 at age 33. Kathy was a bit high mileage for a Playboy centerfold but nobody was complaining. And she had done a decent job that year playing a deceived bad girl on an episode of "Knight Rider" where she added some nice sizzle and eye candy to the production. But even with Shower dressed in tight black leather, "Commando Squad" has minimal sizzle going for it as these scenes are so poorly lit that the actress is just a faint distant shadow in a series of a wide master shots. And her one good outfit was at the start of the film, after that she was costumed like one of extras in "The Grapes of Wrath".

Shower could have either become the next Sharon Tate or crashed and burned along with Kathy Ireland whose acting range was limited to a looks of dull surprise whenever a camera was pointed in her direction. While Shower's acting for the camera range was greater than Ireland's, it was not much greater and her range could actually have benefited from an ability to express dull surprise.

The Sharon Tate comparisons are easy because "Commando Squad" could be considered a low budget attempt at "The Wrecking Crew", at least from a believability perspective. Both films require that viewers expend a huge amount of energy suspending their disbelief. You don't mind doing this with "The Wrecking Crew" because it is fun and entertaining in an obviously self-parodying way. Something "Commando Squad" is not.

One obvious similarity is that Shower's character Kat Withers, like Tate's character Freya Carlson, spends at lot of her on-screen time disguised in an unflattering dark wig. But Freya only wears this for one series of scenes and for logical reasons. Their is no explanation for why Shower was de-tuned in this way.

Although somewhat limited as an actress, Tate's range included very convincing airhead portrayals, which when combined with her more serious scenes give Freya considerable dimensionality. Viewers find themselves engaged by Tate's character but completely indifferent to Shower's.

Director Fred Olin Ray started out with a winner which moved along momentously for the first half of the film with Sid Haig (Iggy), underling to William Smith (Morgan Denny), being his creepy scene stealing self. Smith's early scenes were terrific as the evil turncoat Denny but he bogged down noticeably in the second half of the Film when I guess he realized it wasn't going well. Ross Hagen (Cowboy) another of Denny's thugs was a pain in the back constantly yelling let's go and come on come on to the rest of Denny's soldiers. Finally, Brian Thompson (L.A. Det. Clint Jensen) who was captured by Iggy while trying to break up a drug ring in Mexico spend most of the movie being tortured or escaping and being recaptured while his performance was OK at best. Playboy Bunny Kathy Shower (L.A. Detective Cat Withers) who was dispatched to Mexico by the great Robert Quarry ( Head L.A. Det. Milo) to rescue Jensen is under the circumstances quite good. Now the unfortunate circumstances, for reasons only Director Ray would know, have Shower beautiful blond hair covered with a black wig that looked like a reject from a Joan Jett video. To add injury to insult she might as well have worn a lab jacket through the whole picture as Ray didn't apparently see the need to accentuate her lovely Playboy Bunny body, or show it unclothed for that matter, come on Fred. The other terrible decision by Ray was to cast his then wife Dawn Wildsmith as hot tempered bar maid (Consuela). Dawn, to say the least never underacts a scene, is however a couple of shades lighter then Elke Sommer which just didn't work as Consuela. A big shout out to Mel Welles for a excellent performance as the bumbling just want to get the heck out of here (Quintano). There are two versions of the film out there one is over 1hr 40min with the BETTER one checking in at 1hr 29 min. With all that said the film is definitely worth a watch with a fine first half and the last 15 minutes of bang bang and explosions.