Blood Harvest

The only reason this movie is worth watching is because of the lovely Itonia Salchek. To bad we never saw this hottie again in anything else.

I had planned on buying the DVD for this very reason only to find from several reviews the movie has been cut worse than any of the victums in the movie.

A young woman (Itona Salochek) comes back from college to find her parents missing and their home vandalized. She suspects the worst since her dad was in charge of foreclosing on local farms for the bank. The local sheriff is less than helpful though (he's much more interested in his softball league). Meanwhile, she finds herself the object of rather obsessive attention from her former childhood boyfriend and his oddball, mentally challenged brother (Tiny Tim) who sings creepy songs and dresses up like clown (the "Marvelous Mervo").

For some reason, slasher fans don't seem to care for this movie, perhaps because the first murder doesn't occur until some forty minutes in. They're certainly suitably bloody though with victims being tied up upside-down and their throats slit so they can be bled like pigs. There's also a lot of time for character development, which in the case of Ms. Salochek fortunately means many long, completely gratuitous, full-frontal nude scenes (She's actually not that attractive with her clothes on, but wait until she takes them off. Wow!) This is also kind of an unusual setting for a slasher movie. If John Cougar Mellencamp ever made a horror movie it might look something like this. The director, Bill Rebane, is one of these guys who can't really be called "good" or "talented", but his movies are always interesting. He once dressed a VW Bug up as a giant spider in "The Giant Spider Invasion". "The Capture of Bigfoot" was one of the most wacko of many wacko 70's bigfoot movies. "The Demons of Ludlow" was the touching story of a small Midwestern town and their demonically-possessed grand piano. This movie is pretty much the same way, especially considering the main stars were a never-to-be-seen-again Eastern European actress who can't keep her clothes on for five minutes, and Tiny Tim, a VERY odd folk singer from the late 1960's. (He's surprisingly good though).

It does have its flaws. It's pretty slow in places, and the identity of the killer is pretty obvious as there are only two or three possible suspects (and one them is the reddest herring imaginable). Still, I saw this movie back-to-back with "Nail Gun Massacre", a movie slasher-movie fans really rave about, but I liked this one far better. Recommended, no matter what anyone else says.

Extremely odd flick about a young woman (Itonia Salochek) who returns from college to discover that her parents are missing. Her neighbors are none other than preppy Dean West and his brother played by that lovable minstrel Tiny Tim, who may or may not know what has happened. Meanwhile, a masked killer slaughters whoever comes near the woman and just who it is becomes more and more obvious to the viewer past the first thirty minutes. Despite being notorious for Tiny Tim's one and only starring feature, this film is comprised mostly of hopeless time filler. Tiny Tim is fairly decent, however, as the creepy clown-faced weirdo who skulks around the farm. In fact it's his antics, Salochek's abundant nude scenes, and relatively realistic special effects which save this less than thrilling time waster. The only really effective scene is the opening sequence; featuring Tiny Tim squawking a tune in the dark. That's guaranteed to make your skin crawl in any film.

Got High On Life, and sat and watched the movie with Gene, we're cool now.

Plus it's got that one guy, dressed as a clown, and Bush, not sixteen stone either, the real deal.

I feel like Gene was just watching me the whole time, which was kinda creepy, at first I kinda missed the aerobics show with Denise Richards and Paul Walker (RIP!), but, this was pretty good. I'd say if your into weird stuff from the 80s, give it a shot. It might be as good as Killer Clowns From Outer Space, but then maybe not. I dunno, neither are as good as Over The Top, but, who could ever beat that?? Maybe like, the Bodyguard, or like, that really bad biker movie with Brian Bosworth, that I still watch every now and again cause it's a guilty pleasure.

Blood Harvest (1987)

** (out of 4)

Jill (Itonia Salchek) returns home to her parent's farm in Wisconsin and she quickly learns that the town people aren't too happy with them. She also soon realizes that both of them are missing and before long she and her friends come under attack by a masked maniac who enjoys cutting throats. Is it the mentally disturbed Mervo (Tiny Tim)?

Director Bill Rebane (THE GIANT SPIDER INVASION) apparently saw TIny Tim at a local fair and decides to pitch him on the idea of appearing in a slasher film. Apparently Tim liked the idea or perhaps he needed the money but either way the end result is a rather interesting slasher and one that for the most part is entertaining.

If you're expecting a masterpiece or some sort of high art then you're going to be disappointed because BLOOD HARVEST clearly wears its low-budget. The various trappings of low-budget horror films from this era are on full display but if you're a fan of the genre then you know that you just have to deal with those. Outside of that there's a fairly interesting movie here that works on several levels.

For starters, I actually thought the story itself was good enough for this type of film and I really enjoy the lead character even though the screenplay allows her to do some rather stupid things. I thought the entire set-up was decent and I'd argue that the settings were good. The film also offers up some good gore effects as long as you're watching the uncut version. Apparently the director went back and edited out some gore and nudity when he was running for office (?!?!?) so be sure you get the complete version.

The film also offers up quite a bit of nudity from lead actress Itonia Salchek and that's certainly not a bad thing. In fact, I must say that I thought she delivered a good and fun performance. As I said, there are countless low-budget issues here but I thought the actress helped make the film entertaining. The supporting players are decent but, again, the low-budget leads to some less- than-wonderful performances. With that said, seeing Tiny Tim in this kind of movie just adds a whole new atmosphere that you won't find in any other slasher.

BLOOD HARVEST isn't a masterpiece and it's certainly not a classic. It's not even a "good" movie but if you're a fan of the genre then it's certainly worth watching and I think the film rightfully deserves its cult following.