Die Barbaren

Kutchek and Gore are two orphans who got abducted by an evil warlord who makes a promise not to kill them. They go up into the Barbarian Brothers (the brothers if you don't know are freaking' HUGE) who after learning that the warlord is less than altruistic in his intentions, decide to break free and restore the balance. The two are stupid fools but they're big enough that no one cares. This movie is one of those films that's so bad it's good and is definitely tongue-in-cheek. Many highly quotable lines and I enjoyed it immensely.

My Grade: B-

Eye Candy: a few breasts are bared

Fun film. The two brothers are complete baffoons, but they manage to save the land. Go figure. Eva La Rue is beautiful. Rent it with a few beers and you'll have some good laughs. I don't quite understand the whole "grunting" thing... you'll understand after you see the film. It sounds identical to the sound made by Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumber, when he says "wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?" Surprisingly, there is some blood, and good deaths, but the best part is when Kadar gets his finger bitten off by a kid. Classic.

This movie is terrible, but almost so bad it's good. I've seen a lot of bad movies like this but this one at least knew to be silly. Most of these sword and sandal pictures take themselves too seriously. This movie is just plain silly. If you like the ones that are so bad that they end up becoming cult movies, then you might like this one.

This movie maybe really bad, but it is alot of fun. The bad acting and poor direction enhance the film's hystericalness. The twins are very funny in their Conanesque roles. If you go into this film expecting the first Conan or Excalibur, than you will hate it. If you watch it while in a good mood and accept it as good, dumb fun you will have a good time. Watch for the scene where they try to hang the brothers, its funniest scene in the film. I wish Mystery Science Theatre 3000 would have done this!!

I have to admit that I loved this movie -- it's completely campy, it doesn't take itself seriously for a moment, and it has few redeeming qualities. The actors -- which is a loose description of what they are doing on screen -- look like they are having a ball filming this over-the-top sword-and-sorcery outing, and it's hard not to share in the fun. The heroes are musclebound, the damsel-in-distress is pretty and spunky, the bad guy is a caricature of bad-guys. What more can you wish for?

Frankly, any movie that includes a girl in a cage commenting on the arrival of her two rescuers with "And look at the size of you two! This is Ismina's lucky day!" gets a pass from me. It's fun.