Assault of the Killer Bimbos

Expecting some lamebrain sitcom reject, I found "Assault of the Killer Bimbos" to be good stupid fun. Christina Whitaker made the biggest impression on me; I found her to be funny, smart, and rather attractive. To coin a cliche, don't expect Shakespeare, and you won't go away disappointed. An excellent "girls just wanna have fun" movie; the overall acting and story are better than what the box at the video store led me to believe.

How can you not love this campy B flick! Made on a VERY low budget by people who made the most of it. "Thelma & Louise" which came a few years later lifted the basic plot. Featuring characters named "Peaches" & "Shifty Joe", future director Nick Cassavettes & the immortal line "Oh no, a bimbo with a gun!"

With the title "Assault Of The Killer Bimbos", and the premise of two airheaded women on the run from the law, you may think that you'll get a lot of sleazy fun with this movie. Alas, the actual results are somewhat of a letdown.

The women in the movie are written to be a likable bunch, and the actresses playing them are a talented bunch, but the screenplay is pretty one-note with them. After a while, these characters seem to just be doing the same thing over and over again. That may be because the screenplay stops advancing the plot after the first twenty minutes or so, and does not start advancing the plot until the last ten minutes.

Eddie Deezen does liven things up with his appearance (no movie can be completely bad if it has Eddie Deezen), but he's only in the movie for a few minutes.

Also, the screenplay is seriously lacking in sleaze. There's hardly any nudity, no sex, and a minimum amount of PG-style violence.

Did this movie inspire "Thelma & Louise"? Probably not, but you never know.

After getting in an argument with their boss named "Shifty Joe" (David Marsh), two go-go dancers by the names of "Peaches" (Christina Whitaker) and "Lulu" (Elizabeth Kaitan) hear a gunshot and go to Shifty Joe's office to find out what's going on. When they get there the murderer named "Vinnie" (Mike Muscat) hands Lulu the gun and flees the scene. A moment later several people arrive in Shifty Joe's office and see his dead body and Lulu holding the gun. Unable to convince anyone that they are innocent they quickly make a break for it and head to Mexico in their car. Along the way they stop at a diner and when they are recognized they grab a waitress named "Darleen" (Tammara Souza) as a hostage and once again make a break for it. Now rather than reveal any more of this movie I will just say that for a low-budget "bimbo movie" this one wasn't too bad as the plot was mildly entertaining, the wardrobes were pretty nice and Elizabeth Kaitan was certainly attractive. On the flip side, the comedy wasn't exactly on the cutting edge and it could have used a bit more sex appeal than what was shown. Again, it wasn't a bad movie but even so it wasn't that great either. Accordingly, I rate it as just slightly below average.

Even in the rarefied air of b-movies this is a stinker. Unlike the work of the fun B directors (H. G. Lewis, Fred Olen Ray, Al Adamson, even Ed Wood) this commits the cardinal sin of being boring. There's no energy, style or fun to this movie. It's just a tedious, drawn-out chase plot featuring three scantily clad women, of whom only Elizabeth Kaitan is worth a second look. (It's no coincidence that she's the only of the three who subsequently had any sort of career.) Even the bad actors (and there are plenty) are boring. Only Kaitan and supergeek Eddie Deezen bring anything to this party. The picture also deserves special mention for two of the lamest performances ever given by famous actors' offspring in one movie, courtesy of Griffin O'Neal and Nick Cassavettes as zonked out surfers. How did this mess ever develop a cult following?