Die Frau des Profis

On paper it sounds great: Hal Ashby directing, Neil Simon writing, Michael O'Keefe coming off of three critically acclaimed films, and Rebecca DeMornay coming off Risky Business. But in practice, the movie simply isn't watchable. Bad dialogue, bad acting, atrocious musical interludes; and this is just in the first 20 minutes. Randy Quaid and Martin Ritt appear in thankless roles. Even the baseball sequences are pedestrian. There is nothing redeemable in this production even from a cult perspective. Second-Hand Hearts and Lookin' to Get Out were not great but at least they were coherent. If you are a fan of Ashby's 70's work and are interested in his 80's stuff, I suggest you just watch 8 Million Ways to Die and the concert films.

This movie reeks of ineptitude. The only attraction is Rebecca de Mornay, who at least looks good. So what.

The romance is witless, the baseball scenes are trite. Even the putrid 2003 Detroit Kittens, the worst baseball team since the 1962 Mets, do better. It has no credibility as a romance. The jests aren't funny.

This movie will probably end up on the budget rack in some discount superstores because those stores have been cutting deals with movie companies to pump out as many movies as possible to sell for $6 or $7 as impulse items. Even for free it's no bargain; you have better uses of your time than this.

If you are collecting DVD's, then remember this basic rule: you are better off with one "Casablanca", "Lawrence of Arabia", or "Wizard of Oz" than with four bad movies. Indeed you are better off with one great movie than with fifty bad movies. A bad CD is at worst background music that you don't have to pay much attention to; a bad DVD will disgust you.

I rate this "3 of 10" because the only harm that this movie will do to you is waste your money and take up space better suited to some other purpose, such as getting a really good movie. I save the "1" or "2" for something completely devoid of production values, grossly objectionable, or a failure at its purpose.

The premise for this movie wasn't bad: Major leaguer finds love with a rock singer in route to a home run record season. Problem is, the two lead characters, especially the male lead, are totally unsympathetic! The male lead is such a boorish ass that I found myself rooting against him most of the movie. I was hoping Debbie, the female lead, would run off with Randy Quaid! If you have a choice between watching this movie or sliding down a huge cheese grater, well, I might choose the latter. : )

This film advertises itself as a Baseball movie with a Love Story. The film fails at both attempts.

The Love story is boring and pointless as the characters simply go through the cliche'd story of falling in love, and then drifting apart.

But the real disaster here is the failure as a Baseball story. Somehow, we are supposed to believe that Michael O'Keefe is a credible Baseball Slugger? O'Keefe will forever be known as Danny Noonan from Caddychack. Unfortunately, this role did little to take that typecast off of him.

He's less than 200 pounds, with barely any muscle tone on his body, and he supposed to have been inspired by his love for Rebecca De Mornay to hit 62 Home Runs in a Season. The story starts off with the fact that he's a light-weight singles hitter. If you look at the four men in history who have hit over 60 home runs in a season, (Ruth, Maris, McGwire & Sosa) you will see that these men are rather large and muscular. O'keefe is neither.

However, the story gets even more ridiculous as O'Keefe nears the record. On the night before the final game, he is sitting on 61 Home runs, which has tied the record. So, what does he do? He goes out to the local dance club (where he first met De Mornay) with his buddies. On his way to the dance floor, one reporter from Sports Illustrated approaches him and asks him a few questions, than wishes him luck.

ONE REPORTER!?!?! He's on the verge of breaking the single season home run record, and he's out in a disco, and there's only one reporter asking him questions??? Even non-baseball fans can appreciate the amount of media coverage and fan reaction when guys like Maris, McGwire and Sosa neared the 60 mark. Those men were constantly hounded by fans and the media every night.

If you want a decent movie about baseball, that also details the accurate lifestyle of a player about to break the single season, see Billy Crystal's "61*".

I would have thought with the creative talents of Neil Simon writing the script and Hal Ashby behind the camera The Slugger's Wife would have turned out a lot better. As a baseball film this one is maybe a single.

Playing the title role Rebecca DeMornay is an aspiring country singer for whom baseball player Michael O'Keefe falls big time. O'Keefe is a guy full of promise who never quite reached his potential. But when she's around O'Keefe starts hitting home runs with regularity, so much so that the Atlanta Braves vault into contention for the pennant and O'Keefe starts to threaten the record of 61 set by Roger Maris in 1961.

Soon O'Keefe insists he be at every game as his good luck charm. But DeMornay also has a career she's worked hard at.

This film might have been better but Michael O'Keefe acts like such an egotistical jerk it's hard to work up any sympathy for his problem. Is it his acting, Ashby's direction, or Simon's script. Take your pick.

Best acting in the film is from acclaimed director Martin Ritt who plays the Atlanta Braves manager. He has some interesting motivational techniques.

The Slugger's Wife will never be listed as a great baseball film.