Click: The Calendar Girl Killer

CLICK: THE CALENDAR GIRL KILLER is a late-entry instalment for those purveyors of schlock, Crown International Pictures, and it's an extremely poor film. Sloppily made, written in a hurry, with unbelievable characters and ridiculous situations. However, it's also entertaining in a so-bad-it's-good kind of way, which means that it's much better than the majority of Crown's output.

The plot is some throwback to the old PSYCHO routine with a hidden villain struggling with multiple personality syndrome. Along the way, a number of nubile young women - who end up either undressed or parading around in their underwear - are offed in not particularly gory ways.

CLICK has little that horror or slasher fans won't have seen before, but there are fun performances from the likes of Troy Donahue and in particular Ross Hagen, and it's hard to dislike those cheesy performances. In fact, with Hagen also contributing to the direction and script, it must have been a labour of love for the actor, and it shows.

This serial killer flick was directed by, written and stars Ross Hagan, a veteran actor of the American b-movie and z-movie. It's about a photographer who likes to shoot sexy swimsuit models in pictures with violent themes. He gathers a crew in a remote desert retreat but soon a killer nurse pitches up and begins murdering everyone one by one.

The title of this one suggests it will be an erotic thriller, which after all was a very popular sub-genre of film in the early 90's. And in fairness, it sort of is but not maybe as much as it should be. It benefits from featuring the very attractive Dona Speir, star of various Andy Sidaris sexploitation efforts. But unfortunately, she disappears after a couple of prominent early scenes. This seemed quite careless as she is always pretty good value in these types of b-movies. Anyway, the action relocates to a ranch and we then have a succession of photo-shoots, melodramas and comic scenes. Eventually the killer turns up and embarks on a murder spree, although for some reason no one ever seems to notice people are being bumped off. Anyway, events eventually spiral into delirious proportions as the killer nurse chases victims around the ranch while creating explosions everywhere in a pyrotechnic finale.

This film hasn't got too good of a reputation clearly. But I sort of thought it was much more entertaining than I expected given its low rating. Sure, it's clunky, silly and utterly predictable - was the killer's identity really meant to be a surprise?! – yet, it has enough pretty girls, slasher violence and general absurdity to ensure its always good fun.

Click has got to be one of, if not THE worst movie I have ever seen. You've got to be worried when the opening and closing credits are accompanied by scantily-clad tramps dancing around in the background. This film tells the pathetic story of some stupid killer killing off Calendar models, even though we don't see any of this action until the second half of the film when he stalks a small group of models at closed-set ranch out in the middle of nowhere! I heard from an online acquaintance that many of the actors were pulled from the film by the MPAA or SAG for some odd reason, which may explain why many scenes and characters don't make any sense whatsoever to the story and only appear in limited scenes, particularly the first scenes.

What also got on my nerves was the fact that none of these girls were even attractive enough to be models and not many of their faces ring a bell. The director probably met them on the street, much like a character in the film does, arghh this film is sooo bad, although particular merit goes to Friday the 13th gals Susan Jennifer Sullivan and Juliette Cummins (one of the pulled actors - had a big role) who turn in quite decent performances, especially Susan. The rest of the cast, Troy Donahue in particular, just annoyed me.

Would be the worst movie of all time if people had actually seen it! So if you're REALLY bored, watch.. actually don't watch it.. go rent the Vice Academy series where at least the campiness is entertaining! This is trash.. what the hell were they thinking?? Same applies to me that day in the video store!! (exhale)

Take one part "Eyes of Laura Mars" ripoff (photographer shoots models in kinky violent situations, then somebody starts killing the models) plus one part even cheesier "Psycho" imitation (transvestite killer with major mommy issues), add terrible dialogue, enormous 80s teased hair, opening/closing credits with tacky girls-'n'-guns imagery, choppy/sloppy grade-C film-making, and....Well, let's just say this might strike you as one of the stupidest/funniest films ever made, IF you're watching with friends and have had a few drinks. Otherwise, it's campy enough for dedicated bad-movie aficionados but not quite enough to be an outright camp classic. There's no violence, gore or nudity (unless bikinis count) until all ridiculous hell breaks loose in the last half hour, and even then those elements are pretty feeble. But it's all so ineptly sleazy you might not mind.

To "Plan Nine From Outer Space" and "Robot Monster", we can safely add this lot of trash as one of the worst movies ever made. I read the reviews of this movie before I actually watched it. This was so I would be prepared and could compare my thoughts with those of other who have gone before me. Having read others' comments, I wasn't expecting much and I certainly wasn't disappointed. I paid 99 cents for the DVD of this rubbish in a bargain bin sale. Alas, I was ripped off!! Seriously though, this movie is so bad, it's a must see. I haven't been allowed to post this comment because it didn't contain enough lines. So, I'll just say that it's a shocker.

John