River of Death - Fluß des Grauens

This is the stuff I live for, truly do! Despite negative reviews and low ratings, I secretly had very high hopes for "River of Death", and the actual film still surpassed them. As far as yours truly is concerned, it's a fast-paced and exhilarating trash gem with phenomenal stars (Donald Pleasance, Robert Vaughn, Herbert Lom, LQ Jones...) in deviant roles, evil Nazis, savage Amazon jungle-tribes, nasty river pirates, fiendish medical experiments, Lost Cities and exploding helicopters! The poster proudly features the name of prominent writer Alistair MacLean, but the demented tale might as well have sprouted from the mind of over-enthusiast Italian scriptwriters who also penned down the delicious Indiana Jones clones, like "Ark of the Sun God" or "Hunters of the Golden Cobra".

Regardless of the fact WWII is coming to an end and Germany is defeated, megalomaniacal Nazi Doctor Wolfgang Manteuffel (Vaughn) doesn't consider his work finished, and he closes a pact with the unscrupulous General Heinrich Spaatz (Pleasance) to flee to South America and continue his experiments. 20 years later, the adventurous mercenary Hamilton (Michael Dudikoff) reluctantly accepts an assignment to trace down the mysterious Lost City, which is reputedly hidden deep in the Amazon jungle, surrounded by hostile native tribes. None of the expedition members is to be trusted, and most of them have a vengeful score to settle. This is just a very brief and general description of the plot, mind you, since "River of Death" is the type of film full of plot twists and sub stories; and each crazier than the next.

I'm really baffled by the harshness of some of the other reviews around here. Don't know what these people were expecting to see, but "River of Death" is quite the opposite of "dull" and "boring". Of course, the film has several flaws. Dudikoff's wannabe Humphrey Bogart style of narrating is quite irritating and the entire climax is kind of disappointing, but overall seen "River of Death" ensures a tremendous good time!

Director Steve Carver! Action star Michael Dudikoff! An action adventure delight!? Throw in actors Donald Pleasance, Robert Vaughn (both playing Nazis), Herbert Lom and L.Q Jones. Sounding good. Set in the Amazon jungle with its many beauties and but also constant dangers. Oh this should be humidly exciting, but the cheaply produced Cannon production shortly gave way for complete tedium. Carver… tedium? No way. Dudikoff… tedium? Can't be. But it's a yes indeed. Well more so the first 45 minutes (although within that time we are treated with some midget boxing and the intro is cool enough with its atmospheric score) and after that it somewhat picks up in something of a stop and go affair. It took me two sittings to watch it, as the first time I could only get halfway through it before dozing off. Lucky I recorded so I could sit there and try to watch it again, but it did kind of get better the further along it went.

Dudikoff plays Hamilton an adventurer who becomes an Amazon guide for a doctor and his daughter in their quest to find the origins of a deadly disease that's affecting the natives. There they end up at the lost city, where the doctor is killed and the daughter captured. Hamilton manages to escape and barely makes back to civilisation. There he recovers, gathers a team and heads back to rescue the girl… but others in the party have their own motivations (gold, justice and revenge--hurt feelings) especially the man (Donald Pleasance) backing the expedition who believes a Third Reich Nazi doctor (Robert Vaughn) hides out in the lost city continuing his sadistic experiments.

The plot is adapted of an Alistair MacLean novel and it comes across as dumb low-grade pulp. It throws around shadily random developments, growing mystic, devious twists (whom playing whom?) and one-note characters (who seem to be looking for death) in a very muddled, paper-thin fashion. Very talkie at times, sluggishly paced and constantly inconsistent, but the action does have its moments. Probably a little too repetitive and not as explosive (but there are numerous explosions). Still it's gritty and unpleasant, as the party when they not flying, hiking or using their riverboat they are thwarted by Amazon pirates, aggressive natives and of course evil Nazis led by a mad scientist (Vaughn is simply wasted here) who just wants to take over the world. Pleasance (who masterfully hams it up "Hey Wolfie") and Vaughn's exchanges are just odd, mainly in the opening sequences which do set everything up. Vaughn's blank, cold-hearted turn suit's the character, but was he really acting. Hard to tell. Dudikoff is acceptable, always having that concern look on his face. Maybe info overload. It was better when he stop thinking and went heroic --- a prophecy in the making. But it wasn't as funny as his croaky narration… please somebody hand him a cough lolly. Director Carver ("An Eye for an Eye (1981)" & "Lone Wolf McQuade (1983)") crafts out an old-fashion stapling, where it's resourcefully executed but lacking the energy and ticker to sustain its long-winded running-time. When not using staged sets, he makes good use of it sweaty locations (South Africa) with some nice scenic shots.

This movie kept my attention for the entire time I had it on. I consider this a small achievement on the part of River of Death considering what an incompetent film it is from start to finish. But is it horrible? Nope. Just pretty bad. This is like one of those movies on a Mill Creek dvd set you would find in a Walmart bargain bin. The set would probably be titled something insipid like "Jungle Fever" and River of Death would no doubt be the best movie out of the 7 or 8 random titles in the pack. Cannibals and Nazis should both be in more movies together I think, but even they couldn't save this misguided adventure yarn that felt like it was held together by silly string. One scene seems to begin and end in the middle of the next leaving the viewer going "What the heck? I thought he was flying the helicopter?" I'm not sure if the movie could have benefited from extensive storyboarding but it seems to me like there was no planning at all. Some scenes of people walking through the jungle were filmed with helicopter shots inserted from time to time and then there would be a shot of birds trying to fly out of frame to escape this stink bomb. And the writing was just bad...complimented by worse acting including a really hammy performance from Donald Pleasance. His character is shacked up with a girl that is about 5 decades younger than him and every scene with these two that called for physical affection made me cringe and laugh at the same time. Despite the movies near countless flaws, I still really enjoyed it. Would I recommend it? No...but fans of trashy jungle flicks may want to give it a go.

One of Alistair MacLean's poorest books becomes one of the poorest films based on one of his books in this jungle dud. Michael Dudikoff leads the expedition into the heart of the Amazon, culminating in some silly revelatory scenes in which most of the characters turn out to be someone other than who we thought they were. It transpires that they all have various motives for searching for a Nazi scientist in a lost city, but none of the revelations are very convincing. The actors have done better work, some of them have been in great movies (Donald Pleasance, Robert Vaughn) but none of them would be proud of this. It's purely a case of them taking the money and running. Even the jungle backdrop is under-used. You'd think that a film set in the jungle would at least have pretty scenery and some spectacular photography....but oh no, not this one!

Cheesy, Low-Budget, but Colorful Action/Adventure with Scary looking and Color Coordinated Amazonian Tribesmen, South American Nazis Circa 1965, Big Haired Babes, and Non-Actor and Fan Favorite Michael Dudikoff.

Along for the Fun is Robert Vaughn and Donald Pleasance Playing Dueling Old Fogie Nazis. The Pacing is too Slow and the Action Lackluster and looking Staged, the Film has Complications like Biological Scourges, and a Hidden Jungle City that Go virtually Nowhere.

The Movie may Take Itself Too Seriously to be much Fun, but it Ends Up being a little Entertaining if You can Get into It. Whether it's Worth the Try will be a Matter of Tolerance and Taste.

Overall, Average for this Type of Pre-CGI, Direct to Video Stuff. It's a Canon Production and the Hacks there Did and Do Have a Fan Base for this Type of Glossy Trash.