Rock Aliens

A low-budget mid'-80s musical starring pint-sized sex kitten Pia Zadora: how could this be anything but a disaster? The funny thing is, I just watched the film and enjoyed it much more than I expected, yet I'm still asking how it could be anything but a disaster. I mean, the plot is atrocious, the dialogue diabolical, and the special effects like something I might achieve with my minimal knowledge of motion graphics software. By all rights, it should be unbearable, but I found myself charmed by its goofiness, and actually thought the musical numbers were pretty good. Zadora is no Olivia Newton-John, but she acquits herself well enough in the singing and dancing departments, if not the acting.

The film opens on a spacecraft manned by musical aliens who are travelling across the universe on a scientific mission, searching for rock music. After passing on several planets (including one where Jermaine Jackson and Pia Zadora flirt with each other, much to the annoyance of a gang of bikers in nasty white outfits), they decide to pay a visit to Earth, where they encounter trouble with a pack of rock and roll thugs led by Frankie (Craig Sheffer), who isn't happy when his girlfriend Dee Dee (also Zadora) shows an interest in the aliens' commander, ABCD (Tom Nolan).

Sounds straight-forward enough, but the whole thing is imbued with a surreal strangeness, from a robot that transforms into a mobile fire hydrant, to a teleportation phone booth, to a toxic lake that is home to a giant tentacle. Then there's the small matter of the escaped homicidal maniacs, one of which is played by Michael Berryman, who falls for Dee Dee's best friend Diane (Alison La Placa) when she helps to mend his chainsaw. Part cheesy '80s sci-fi, part '50s beach party movie, and part new-wave post-punk musical, but ALL bizarre, this is a perfect 'midnight movie' viewing for those who enjoy offbeat trash from the decade that taste forgot.

7/10 (with the potential for a higher rating on repeat viewings).

Even though the special effects rarely rise above amateurish, even though the acting, at places, can best be described as 'cardboard', and even though the final production lacks the polish of a comparable film, say 'Grease', this film is definitely worth the time.

This film has several things going for it, definitely. First of all, there are some pretty decent actors in the film and some talented singers as well.

There are few who are both decent actors and talented singers, but this in itself doesn't ruin the movie.

Musically, watch for the sequence 'nature of the beast'. It is a bit overplayed, and stylistically overdone, yet still quite entertaining.

Much of the comedy in the movie falls rather flat, but there a few shining moments mixed in. At the point the female victim helps the homicidal maniac repair his chainsaw is really where the movie begins to hit its stride and the various elements come together.

Throughout the film, Pia Zadora is a joy to watch. She really doesn't deserve the bad press she's gotten. In this film, she comes across as a wonderful singer, as well as a passable actress who seems completely to buy into her character. This is definitely not a trivial task, as the plot as a whole is rather hokey and the monster in the film looks really cheap and rubbery. I personally cannot imagine myself having to pretend to be frightened of it, but the cast really does a pretty good job with it and overall.

In short: Watch it, enjoy it. Don't expect 'Grease' going in, and you won't be disappointed coming out. And BTW, look for Pia's duet with Jermaine Jackson on 'When the rain begins to fall' at the beginning of the movie. I don't think it has anything to do with the rest of the movie, but it is a cute little rock video.

Pia Zadora is my new favourite 80's leading lady. This film is atrocious. The acting is bad, every joke falls flat, and the aliens are annoying beyond belief! I like the songs a lot. Bizzarely many of them are badly re-recorded versions of Pia's own songs. This is most obvious in 'A Little Bit Of Heaven' which she sings here with the alien commander Absid. Fans of trashy 80's movies will love it! It's even worse than Xanadu and Grease 2! Pia's outfits rock too! I'd give the plot 1/10, the acting 1/10, the feel-good factor is at least a 7/10, and the soundtrack is a 10/10 or 1/10 depending on your taste in music. Watch out for Pia's all singing, all dancing performance in the ladies room! Hilarity awaits you.... Buy, buy, buy!

I stumbled on this movie by accident, when I turned it on, my wife gave me 'the look' and asked "Why???" She changed her tune pretty quick and now it's something we tell our friends about. If the 80s were your decade then you MUST see this movie... Although don't expect Jermaine Jackson to actually be in it. He's in the opening sequence but that's all, and that's okay because the real stars are Pia and the aliens...

If anyone has questions about this movie please let me know, I was in it. I played the part of NPQR the Alien. I also co-wrote several songs for it.

And yes, this movie is about as cheesy as you can get. It was supposed to be a spoof on 60's beach movies with some (then) modern twists to it. The bands featured in the movie are Rhema and Jimmy and the Mustangs, I was in Rhema. Pia was a delight to work with as was the whole crew and cast.