Beast You!

This film is the work of the auteur DeCoteau and boasts of a cast that contains three members of the All-Century Eye Candy team (Brinke Stevens, Michelle Bauer, and Linnea Quigley). The underlying message of this film is the horrors of hazing within the Greek system and its potential for things to go bad. The two pledges are played by the ever-so-lovely Ms. Stevens and the majestic beauty Ms. Bauer. Our third All-Century member, the sultry Ms. Quigley appears at a later juncture but alas does not play a role that allows her to bare her soul. However, Ms. Stevens (ahhh!) and Ms. Bauer (oooh!) give a knockout performance as a 1-2-3 punch: they get paddled, then sprayed with whipped cream, followed by a shower. Further into the film , Ms. Bauer gets to show more of her talents when her character gets possessed. Unfortunately, we here at the academy can't give classic status to this film. However, don't deny the fact that 2/3 of the All-Century team deliver the goodies and that is a winning percentage.

As I said in my review of Night of the Demons, this is another example of enjoyable 80s indulgence in sex charged portrayals of comely young women. This time we get nice full frontal views of two babes. Sadly, neither of them is the babelicious Linnea Quigley, although the two who do bare it all have nicely enjoyable assets of their own. The way Linnea looks in her skin tight spandex pants and bare midriff tells you it would have been quite a treat to see her bare it all. Ah well. The plot, such at it is, revolves around sorority candidates trying to make the grade by stealing a bowling trophy from the local bowling alley. They're accompanied by horny frat boys who were caught ogling them in the bathroom. Bad things ensue when the trophy turns out to contain a demonic "imp" with supernatural powers and the ability to grant wishes. Linnea plays a tough, hard edged bad girl robbing the place.

The film is fair escapist fun. I found myself attracted to its wonderfully cheesy title, which has to be one of the best ever. An aspect of the film that's annoying is that one of the horny frat boys instantly transforms into an "I'm shy and not ready for it" idiot when he's granted what he wished for: To have one of the girls be a sex maniac eager to have him.

Early on this film secures itself as cheap tat. A sorority initiation of paddling, whipped cream and showering may capture your gaze, but is definitely not Oscar material. The Imp unleashed in the mall's bowling alley is some kind of Eddie Murphy wannabe crossed with Freddy Krueger and a game show host. The effects, soundtrack and titles all seem to be the result of Amiga programming or something equally as primitive. The dialogue is cheesy, with only a glimmer of hope from the scream queen Linnea Quigley (Return of the Living Dead).

It's fantastic. Every piece of awful direction and misplaced jokes is just side splitting. Recommend it with a crate of beer and Troll 2 (1990) to follow.

Just like most of the music in the 80s, this is supremely enjoyable on a strictly camp/cheese level. Of course, it's a complete no-brainer low-budget horror spoof, but that just makes it all the more endearing and charming. One day, I really could see someone putting this little gem in a time capsule and sending it into space as a prime example of fighting back against conservativeness and "Reaganism" with pure, no-questions-asked exploitation. It never pretends to be otherwise. It never takes itself seriously. It is the perfect example of a film crafted by people who have their target audience in sight and don't want to let them down. And it was reasonably well made considering it cost less than 100K to produce.

Taffy (Brinke Stevens) and Lisa (Michelle Bauer) are sorority pledges at the mercy of blonde meanie Babs (Robin Stille), a future prison warden, who gleefully subjects them to "institutionalized sadism" such as paddling their fannies and spraying whipped cream all over them (which of course must be showered off). After some nerds are busted spying on the ladies, Babs forces them all break into a shopping mall to steal a bowling trophy as part of their initiation rites. There they encounter both ill-mannered biker babe Spider (Linnea Quigley) AND an evil, wish-granting Imp (with a soul voice!) who traps them all inside and proceeds to turn some of them into murderous zombies. Ah ha! It's great stuff. Really! It's totally infectious fun.

It's very nice to see that it's gotten a DVD and video reissue because now that USA Up All Night is off the air, this kind of good-natured B-movie needs to break through to the next generation of fans. I grew up on this fluff and it truly does enrich your life in a unique way Hollywood never could. NIGHTMARE SISTERS and SORORITY BABES make a perfect double feature and are proof that Linnea Quigley, Brinke Stevens and Michelle Bauer may just be the greatest trio ever captured on film. They are combined force to be reckoned with that has yet to be equaled. Someone please reunite these ladies again sometime soon!

Score: 7 out of 10.

In the running for the cheesiest movie I've ever seen (right up there with "Zombie Lake") this film started out extremely slow. I have to admit, I almost turned it off. It got a little better about 30 minutes in, luckily.

The plot is absurd and the script is poorly penned. The acting is third or fourth rate. Three 'nerds' spy on some sorority girls. They get caught and then as punishment get 'forced' into a prank that the initiating girls must pull off in order to get into the sorority. They are attempting to steal a bowling trophy (what the hell???) from a bowling alley and they unleash a horrible imp who grants them wishes that turn into curses.

Linnea Quigley's punk rock criminal character is the only thing that saves this movie at all. She has some awesome lines and shines as the best actor in the bunch (sadly.) Also, a dude gets decapitated and they bowl his head down the lane which was pretty nice.

Definitely the kind of movie you saw on USA Up All Night back in the 90's. Chock-full of ridiculous high school fantasies. Yikes! 4 out of 10, kids.