Der Biss der Schlangenfrau

I've heard the complaints before, from men of all walks of life: "SHE wants to watch some syrupy romantic slush starring Hugh Grant, I want to watch something with hot, naked, snake-worshipping chicks!"

Well, complain no more! Here's a flick that's got both in one! That's right, England-cum-America's favorite foppish, eye-lid-fluttering sex symbol does battle with naked half-snake-half-human devil worshippers, giant white worms, and the forces of evil!

Well, actually Hugh only kills one snake-human hybrid, and it's an old lady. And he keeps pretty far away from the action-packed finale face-off, letting his odd shut-in pal Angus do all the fighting. But you DO get to see the star of "Notting Hill" slice an old lady in half with a broad sword, and that alone is worth the price of admission!

I enjoyed this movie, what with it's quaint, folksy atmosphere, it's kilt-wearin' heroes, and it's sexy villainess who seduces a hapless boy scout (!) into entering her hot tub of evil. There's even public-access-esque dream sequences where a Sid & Marty Krofft-type snake puppet molests Jesus Christ while nuns are tortured- and who doesn't want to see that?

A very strange movie, to say the least.

This is a kitschy, sexy and funny movie. Ken Russel(the director of Whore and Track 29)is at his best. Taboos are endless. Scottish rock, demon worship, S&M and the defiling of Christian icons. Amanda Donohoe is luscious as the blood-sucking, dildo wielding Priestess of the Worm.

Catherine Oxenberg is a perfect blonde damsel in distress and Hugh Grant is at his sexy, bored playboy of the manor born. The production value is not the greatest but there are moments when the not-so-special effects lend an aire of underground theater to the proceedings. I highly recommend this film.

This movie definitely belongs in the, "it's so bad it's good" category. However, the more times I see it, I'm thinking it's more like, "It's so bad, it's GREAT"! A good movie is in some ways is like a great plate of Italian food. It needs a firm base, some zesty sauce, and just the right amount of cheese.

I first heard about this movie when I was in high school. Everyone around me was catching it on cable except me. Everyone seemed to have the same opinion of the movie, "man, it's so weird". When I finally got to see the movie, we were over at a party at a practical strangers house in a town far from our own at 3 in the morning; an uncomfortable situation. But, when this movie came on, for some reason it made everything alright. I saw it years later in a bargain bin VHS rack and I had to get it. It was by far the best $5 I've ever spent. This is one of those movies that is great to watch late at night with a good buzz on. I'm sure it annoys the hell out of my wife, but this movie makes me laugh like a little kid.

Filmwise, the movie is terribly made (or, if you're a Ken Russel fan, wonderfully made). There's holes in the script, the acting is bad, the props even worse; but there are so many insanely bad puns in this movie that it gets more entertaining each time you see it.

I know I haven't said too much about the movie, but perhaps that's for the best. To sum it all up, it's a great flick if you're in the mood for a real cheesy B grade movie.

Supposedly based on a novel by Bram Stoker, LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM is an exercise in high camp surrealism for maverick British director Ken Russell. Russell crafts a unique film that mixes a solid mystery narrative with some terribly crude symbolism, some outrageously bad taste moments, and more camp sequences than you can shake a stick at. Quality-wise it's very poor in places, but at the same time it's rather amusing and, dare I say it, fun.

DR WHO star Peter Capaldi plays a youthful Scots archaeologist who digs up the skull of a god in somebody's back garden - as you do. Meanwhile, Hugh Grant is a splendidly upper class toff - what else? - whose ancestor was the chap who killed the Lambton worm. And then there's dangerous seductress Amanda Donohoe, having a ball as a femme fatale hiding a dark secret in the depths of her country pile.

LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM certainly contains some unforgettable moments, most of them involving the moments when Donohoe's true form is revealed; the makeup appears to homage Barbara Steele's character in CURSE OF THE CRIMSON ALTAR. There are some fun special effects here, alongside THOSE unforgettable nightmare sequences which are the stand-out highlights for me. The ending is neatly achieved and there's a nice supporting role for character actor Paul Brooke playing the local copper. Truly this is a one-of-a-kind production that has to be seen to be believed.

'Dr. Who' actor Peter Capaldi plays Angus Flint, an archaeology student who unearths a strange skull from the grounds of a bed & breakfast, where a convent had existed once upon a time. Meanwhile, the seductively sexy young Lady Sylvia Marsh (Amanda Donohoe) returns to her neighboring home, and more weird things are soon happening. It turns out, there is a local legend in the area, of a nobleman who'd vanquished a hideous reptilian beast - not literally a "worm" - centuries ago. Also mixed up in the plot are that noblemans' descendant, James D'Ampton (Hugh Grant), and lovely sisters Mary (Sammi Davis) and Eve (Catherine Oxenberg).

The director is Ken Russell of such classics as "The Devils", and he also produced and adapted the novel by "Dracula" creator Bram Stoker. So we know going in to expect a fair amount of outrageousness. Fortunately, this film never does get out of control, but it combines some sober drama with some very campy and sometimes hilarious horror. Clearly, it's not meant to be taken all that seriously, especially when we consider the crudely done fantasy sequences envisioned by the characters and the audience. (People who are easily offended will undoubtedly be put off by some of this imagery.) The makeup is amusing, but what's really a hoot is the beast itself, Dionin. Excellent location shooting adds atmosphere.

The actors, commendably, maintain serious expressions. Although he's reputed to refuse to talk about this film, Grant does a good, droll job. Capaldi is a decent hero who, at one point, attempts to attract a reptilian presence by putting on a kilt and playing the bagpipes. Oxenberg and Davis look appropriately scared, Stratford Johns is a solid presence as the butler Peters, and Donohoe, often dressed in very sexy outfits, does appear to be having some real fun as the villainess.

A truly frightening film this is not, but it's quite entertaining just the same.

Eight out of 10.