California Cops

I expected a movie as funny as Samurai Cop, but this one just isn't that good. Most of the time it's just boring, like watching people walk or talk. There are undoubtedly some funny moments but these are rare compared to Samurai Cop. I was hoping to see something funnier. If you have the patience to sit through 90% of it bored just to laugh at some points, then I would recommend it.

As far as schlocky low budget action thrillers go this one isn't all that bad. The acting and dialogue is what makes it so goofy, I mean you got Cameron Mitchell complaining about tums in one scene for christ sake. The other problem is the pacing, there's scenes where our hero and his partner are just screwing around that seem to go on forever, but, as a first time effort for Amir Shervan this isn't ineptly made like you would figure it to be, goofy and schlocky yes, bad no.

A drought of inspiration that marks this sloppily made film will be followed by a deluge of revulsion from many who must overcome their better judgement in order to watch it through to its conclusion. The film opens as "Feliciano" (James Mitchum) and a group of his absurdly vulgar henchmen are engaged in planning their next criminal enterprise, kidnapping a small boy, an action intended to induce the lad's father to fork over six million dollars that he purportedly stole from this mini-mob. We then see Feliciano and his associates as they raid some sort of horse ranch upon which the targeted boy and his mother reside, therewith yanking the youngster from his mother's arms and slaughtering numerous ranch hands, using automatic weapons. The story then shifts to the mean streets of Hollywood, California, where a "rogue cop", Los Angeles Police Department Sergeant Turquoise (Turkey), played by David Goss, assigned to the Department's Hollywood Station, along with his somewhat more manageable partner "Jaguar" (Lincoln Kilpatrick), struggle manfully with the Forces of Evil, depicted against a less than authentic law enforcement procedural backdrop. In between ordering and eating a hot dog from a street vendor, Turkey and Jaguar attack and mow down a couple of rapists in the act, as it were, following which they run into who else but the kidnapped tot's mother, who has peculiarly been instructed by Feliciano to stroll along Hollywood Boulevard in an attempt at somehow locating her estranged husband (and, of course, the six million dollars). Following the traditional "Give me your badge, you're fired!" interim with Turkey's supervising Captain, performed with strident ineptitude by a once competent Cameron Mitchell, a relieved-of-duty Turkey grimly strives to rescue the kidnapped boy. This is a decision that requires him to be specially nimble, as the remainder of the film matches him in opposition to a particularly violent band of thugs armed with a broad range of weaponry. On the face of it, the film functions without a director, and with a screenplay that is probably a mere outline only, as only seldom does a scene offer a semblance of order. It is understandable that the cast may lack inspiration from this crude connection of sex and sadism, wherein entirely well-shaped characteristics cannot be found. A musical background is provided throughout the picture, unfortunate in the event, as it is a loud and boring piece, repeated endlessly, not stilled even when inappropriate, and never to be described as having specifically addressed any screen action. This low-budget affair had yet enough funding for deciding in favour of casting a large group of extras as ruthless (albeit incompetent) Feliciano goons, and also a surplus of nubile females who take any opportunity to aimlessly meander about. In a story wherein it would be difficult to determine which collection of antagonists is the more irresponsible, the camera-work adds little interest. The film's episodes are generally shot in the foothills of Hollywood and its environs. A basic requirement for any production is preparation, but this obviously was not foremost in the minds of this picture's creators, with a result being a pitiable effort that wants for intelligence as well as imagination.

This is definitely the best movie ever made. This movie has really everything to be a classic. A cheap c actor, porn-movie sound, a story line that even my 5 year old niece would be very ashamed if she made that story. It's really so bad, that it's at the same time so funny. You will really enjoy this. This is entertainment!!!

My review was written in January 1988 after watching the film on Celebrity video cassette.

"Hollywood Cop" is an enjoyable B-picture, crudely made but suitable for the home video action market. Its roster of familiar character actors will generate some interest.

David Goss plays the title role, a handsome young cop assigned to undercover work. Susan Schoenhofer appeals to him for help when her son is kidnapped by the mob to put pressure on since her husband (Larry Lawrence) stiffed them for $6,000,000. With the aid of his partner Lincon Kilpatrick, Goss goes up against the baddies and blows them away.

Loaded with extraneous t&a footage, picture substitutes energy for sense in many scenes but is fun to watch. As fellow cops, Cameron Mitchell and Troy Donahue take a tongue-in-cheek approach to the proceeding, while lead Jim Mitchum is cast against type in a smallish role as a Mafia boss.