Beach Balls

Beach Balls concerns a young man who wants to become a rock star and his adventures in this poor comedy. typical late 80s fare with some poor rock video/band performances, bad acting, production values, script,..you get the idea..even the cute girls can't save this dog..on a scale of one to ten..1

My review was written in October 1988 after watching the film on Media Home Entertainment video cassette.

"Beach Balls", previously titled "Summertime Fun", is a routine teen comedy briefly released last May, and currently in home video distribution.

Familiar format deals with young unrequited romances, intertwined as follows: hero Charlie (Phillip Paley) has the hots for beautiful beach girl Wendy (Heidi Helmer), while Charlie's older sister Kathleen (Leslie Danon) dreams only about lifeguard Doug (Tod Bryant), who just happens to be Wendy's protective brother.

Proper pairings take nearly the whole film to accomplish, while Douglas R. Starr sings some okay rock numbers and an unfunny Erich von Zipper gang of hooligans led by Charles Gilleran make trouble. Genre hasn't progressed much in over two decades with its stereotype depictions of parents.

Director Joe Ritter doesn't get many laughs from these teen antic and the sexual sequence of whether beautiful but timid Danon will get it on with Bryant is dragged out in very corny fashion. WIndup is in the very dated "my life was saved by rock 'n' roll" vein.

As a young kid, I remember fondly some great teen movies back in the 80s & 90s. So when I saw that this movie was from the same era (and I've never seen nor heard of it till then). I got excited and expected more of the same experience, as Revenge of the Nerds, The Sure Thing, My Science Project, Breakfast Club, Zapped, Ferries Buller's Day Off - you get the picture.

After watching 20 mins of it, I now understand why I've never heard of it. Simply put, this movie STINKS. Not just a little, but A LOT!

Acting is non-existent. And not just by one or two actors, but pretty much the entire cast. The dialogue - if you call it that - always seems strained, un-natural. This must have been a movie that was straight to VCR in its day.

I honestly gave this movie a chance to get better (and get going), but after 20 minutes, I no longer could stand it and stopped watching it.

If you're smart, you shouldn't even bother with it. There are better choices to spend time on out there, like watching grass grow.

You're welcome.

A late-night classic that I only wish was on more often. Low budget with an exaggerated plot typical to 80's B-movies, Beach Balls offers exactly what you want to see: mindless yet quoteable entertainment. Beach Balls is one of those movies that you'll watch again and again on cable, or even after taping to VHS, but if you were to see it in a theater, you'd walk away disappointed. This is why I've limited myself to viewing only special/Oscar favorite movies in a theater.

Beach Balls will leave you walking away with a whole new appreciation for ordering a lemon wedge with your water at your favorite restaurant.

For the first few moments, as the characters were introduced, "Beach Balls" looked like it was going to be a cut above the typical '80s boob comedy. The characters seemed a little more relatable and human, and the movie had a likeable protagonist. There was also a more interesting dynamic than the usual nerd-vs-jock thing, in that there was a lifeguard after a girl whose main problem is not that he's a jerk, but that he is uptight and takes his job really seriously.

But then, disaster struck. The movie went nowhere and did nothing with any of these characters or situations. It features two musical numbers, as awful as you know to expect, and a boring party sequence at the end, and not much else. It becomes dreadfully boring, and pointless. I couldn't wait for it to end.

Oh, and it has barely any nudity, surprisingly. I only noticed one, dimly lit topless scene.