2020 - Texas Gladiators

Yes you heard right! One UPS Delivery Truck ...full of neo Nazis led by the "black one" (or as I like to call him "the bald one").

After an "atomic war" was shattered civilization, rouge gangs of bikers, green mutants and one brown UPS Delivery truck full of neo Nazis aim to take over the world... well not exactly the world, just the state of Texas. It is a good thing Dubya hasn't seen this movie, or he might declare war on the UPS corporation for harboring neo Nazis terrorists in their delivery vans! This movie is simply unimaginable! How any of the actors kept a straight face during filming is beyond me! Most everything in the previous comments about this movie's plot is accurate and there isn't much I can add. The plot, if there is one, is void of anything - other than the countless rape scenes (that left me sick to my stomach), a lot of cheesy gun battles and the "black one's" sinister laugh is to die for! Even more funny is how the lowly Texians are trapped in their makeshift fort fending off a highly trained army...kinda reminded me of the Alamo Battle! And don't forget the brilliant portray of the American Indian, priceless ...or maybe not.

What is even more ironic about this movie is how violent it is! When I was 13 years old - I rented this movie! Yes - I walked into a video store and rented the movie with no questions asked! I recently obtained a copy of the movie off Ebay.com - simply to add to my collection of Cold War/End of the World movies.

I rate this movie a 5 out of 10 ...only because the UPS Delivery like truck full of neo Nazis and the "black one's" sinister laugh will have you laughing your butt off until doomsday does us all in!

The year is 2020.

The place is Texas.

The setting is the aftermath of the great nuclear war that devastated everything. In this new environment, man has deteriorated to the level of beast.

The opening scene is the carnage at a "church" (which looks like a deserted warehouse with a cross, a statue, a priest dressed in all red and two nuns). Apparently these savage men (they look prehistoric) are attacking. The priest is being assaulted and nailed to a cross, while the nuns are being raped and ravaged. In the midst of this (after enough watching) our 5 Texas Gladiators appear and kill everyone who isn't a priest or nun. One of the Gladiators, Catch Dog, rapes(I'm not sure if he's successful. It looks like no to me, but the others are sure he has.) a young girl (Maida - Sabrina Siani) he's found. The other Gladiators take offense to this and dishonorably discharge him into the desert. Apparently they have a strict moral code and go around the wastelands enforcing their own brand of justice.

We are then thrust into the future, where one of the remaining four (Nisus - Al Cliver) has joined Maida at this research facility where they are developing their own power supply. Apparently they have a daughter as well. Not sure when this happened. Time sure flies in the future. No wonder that gold watch is so coveted. Catch Dog then shows up with a whole bunch of guys on motorcycle and they attack the compound. Think of the Road Warrior, except change from gas to nuclear, and make everything really crappy looking. This is then followed up by Catch Dog's ally showing up in an old, beat up truck all painted black. Of course I mean Donald O'Brien and his brown jumpsuit paratroopers (they all wear black motorcycle helmets and have these giant shields with holes in them). These guys have "modern" weapons and decimate the entire facility. After, Maida gets raped yet again, Nisus is killed and we are transported, without warning, into the future again.

The director, having stolen every cliché from every post-modern-cataclysm movie, begins to steal from other genres (a.k.a. - The Deer Hunter). We are now in a bar, playing Russian roulette. This is not a Christopher Walken moment. It is actually pretty dull and laughable by comparison. Anyway, it turns out Maida is now the property of this gambler. The remaining 3 Gladiators turn their attention to him, when they discover he has one of their "amulets" (its just a circular pendant with a 5 on it.... it could be a nickle with a hole in it for all we care). They win and get the girl, but two are sent off to a hard labor mine for causing so much trouble. The third rescues them and somehow Maida becomes the fourth honorary member of the group. She seeks revenge and the plan becomes to take down Catch Dog and the Black One (a.k.a - Donald's O'Brien's impersonation of a bald, crazy SS officer).

This movie is ridiculous on so many levels. Continuity, plot, transition, sets, props, costumes are all meaningless. This is an Italian rip off of something. This is like 2019 : After the Fall of New York, except that was actually not bad. Maybe this was the sequel to that ??

Anyway, this movie is horrible. Its so bad, one can't stop laughing. The sets consist of filming in rock quarries, mines, abandoned factories/warehouses and the woods. The props all look like something that was left behind in Italy after the Nazi's were defeated. Did anyone notice the Gradius video game in the bar ? All the actors and stunt people got their 2 day course diploma from the William Shatner School of Acting and Fighting. We also get a lot of travel time (think Manos : The Hands of Fate). We get to see a lot of going somewhere, either by walking, running or driving. What is nice is Sabrina Siani. She was very hot. She gets plenty of screen time (this includes her numerous rape scenes) and a lot of running is involved. If one was careful enough and seen many of these Italian knock-offs, one might notice the familiar breasts. Yes, thats right. She's the body of Ocran, from Lucio Fulci's Conquest.

The movie is not quite as smooth as 2019, but it has it's own moments. It is quite silly (especially at the end when it turns into a western) and definitely worth watching if you've got time and laughs to spare, or if you're looking for something to cheer you up. To sum it up in one idea : the director, Joe' D'Amato, is responsible for giving us Ator the Invincible (Miles O'Brien !!! NO! NO! NOOOOOO !!!!).

I find it very interesting that the at times Mega-Sleaze merchant like Aristide Massaccesi can knuckle down and make a pretty good action PA movie delivering tense atmosphere, well choreographed shoot-outs and some real forward-thinking between character relationships but all the while also keeping the sickening depravity (mostly) off the screen. For these reasons, if say you love Jesus Franco's latter movies that just seem to degenerate into pawn then you probably won't like 2020 Texas Gladiators that much. One of the interesting things about the movie is when one central character gets killed off and then the focus changes to another character then suddenly the situations tend to take on progressive changes in perspective, if that made any sense. The budget of the movie is obviously low, but the resourceful effects like the animated electricity on the futuristic riot-shields brandished by the enemy soldiers sometimes let you forget the shield frames are cardboard on close inspection. Because there are not many faces attached to the actors here at IMDb I forget the character name of the enemy boss, he was kind of a neo-Nazi type, not the best actor but he looks creepy and was funny at times. In conclusion, I liked this a lot more than any Mad Max film, it is definitely way better than Fury Road, so it is well worth seeking out.

The first 10 minutes takes place over at least 5 years, but you wouldn't know that if you weren't paying attention. Which you don't really need to do, because this plot is all over the place. And by all over the place, I mean everywhere but in this movie.

If you are a fan of Italian post-apocalypse movies, this will be familiar. It's not a good as most of them; the stunts are okay, the vehicles are pretty tame, the action is mediocre, and the typical nudity is sub-par. Other than that, it's a good movie to have on while doing something else. No scene stands out, the acting is what you'd expect, and the soundtrack is forgettable.

But you still need to watch it if you're a fan on the genre.

I only write reviews of movies with low rating, which actually are not that bad. Give them a chance!

This is not something I would recommend to everyone, but if you like apocalypse and post-apocalyptic movies then you may enjoy this one too. Not great, bot not that bad either - solid movie. It is boring in some parts, but still watchable, but I repeat, only if you really like apocalypse. I watched German dub version and that was great because of Future-Nazi soldiers that are in movie, I wonder how it sounds in English...

5/10