Cannibal Terror

It's safe to say that cannibal films are an acquired taste, but I think it's safe to say that it is one that I have acquired. However, even I am struggling for good things to say about Cannibal Terror. The best cannibal films hail from Italy, so the fact that this one was a French and Spanish co-production may have something to do with its sub-par quality. The plot follows two would-be kidnappers who end up hiding out in a house near the jungle. However, when one of them rapes the home-owner's daughter, the bunch is left to the nearby cannibals. Cannibal Terror was one of the handful of cannibal films banned by the DPP back in the eighties. Indeed, there is some rather nasty gore on display; but it's nowhere near as gory as the best films that this genre has to offer, and the gore is hardly shocking as the whole production is so badly done. Director Alain Deruelle never manages to impose the jungle atmosphere on his audience, and the film feels like merely a rip off of better cannibal films. Needless to say, the plot doesn't really go anywhere and the overall effect is really rather dull. Overall, I can't recommend this film as the only reason for watching is that it was once banned! Avoid.

Ah, the wondrous mysteries of late 70's/early 80's Euro-exploitation cinema… With almost a 100% positive certainty, the script of this film was improvised along whilst shooting. Judging by the tone and cheerful atmosphere of the opening sequences, it doesn't even look like the creators (Alain Deruelle and Julio Tabernero) ever intended to make a movie about cannibals, but maybe the producers forced them in order to quickly cash in on the gigantic success of contemporary horror-hits like "Cannibal Holocaust" and "Cannibal Ferox". As you probably know, everything was possible in the exploitation industry, even hiring the notorious smut filmmaker Jess Franco to shoot some additional footage. The film opens with a rhythmic and jolly carnival song, introduces several comical characters and a potentially interesting (but poorly elaborated) kidnapping/ransom plot. The cannibal tribe and obligatory grossness only kicks in after about 40 minutes and comes across as totally ridiculous. Three amateur thugs, one voluptuous woman and two guys, randomly decide to abduct the daughter of a wealthy businessman and demand a ransom. When one of their accomplices gets involved in a banal car accident, they flee towards the jungle (I think the South American) and seek shelter in the hut of a friend. Nearby there's a tribe of primitive cannibals, but they appear to remain politely within their perimeters. Only when one of the thugs rapes the lady of the house, her husband almost literally feeds them to the cannibals. Meanwhile, the parents of the kidnapped girl have also arrived in the jungle (don't ask me how, though), but they're good people and hence don't get eaten. Needless to say "Cannibal Terror" is an incredibly bad film and I honestly can't name one good element, apart maybe from the jolly theme song. Sure, there's a bit of nasty gore, but there's absolutely no prior tension building and the actual munching goes on for far too long. You know you're in trouble when even the gory bits in a movie are dull. The acting performances are atrocious. The lines of the little girl are practically inaudible and I'm pretty sure an adult woman imitating the voice of a child spoke them. The "jungle" setting is quite hilarious, as the film is clearly shot in someone's home garden and the "natives" are plain white day-players. Several of them even have sideburns and sophisticated haircuts. Oh dear

Many suspect that this film was directed by Jess Franco because it's very similar to (and at least as bad as)two Eurocine films he DID direct--"Mondo Cannibale" and "Sexo Cannibale". The movie in fact was made by some of Franco's cronies at the low-rent French production house Eurocine. One of the directors on record was another Spaniard, Julio Tabernero, who directed the superior film "Sexy Cat", but since that film has no cannibals in it, it will probably never get the kind of upscale DVD release this one--and the two Franco cannibal films--have gotten in recent years. There's just no justice in the world.

There's no point in rehashing the idiotic plot again. Everything about this is laughably unconvincing from the horribly dubbed dialogue to obviously European "cannibals" to the "jungle" setting which was obviously a European zoo. The canned sound effects include one bird who seems to be chirping all the time in every single place in the "jungle". The public domain music is imported entirely from Mexico (with horrid variations on such standards as "La Bamba" and "La Cucaracha"), a country not exactly famous for its cannibalistic tribes. (If this had been an actual Franco film, it would have at least had better music).

Franco-regular Anthony Mayans has a small role here. Pamela Stanford has a nice nude scene, which is literally the ONLY worthwhile scene in the entire movie. Sabrina Siani, the heroine of "Mondo Cannibal" has a a don't-blink-or-you'll-miss-it cameo, which (aside from her not being naked) is probably her best role ever since she makes no attempt whatsoever to act (actually she made no attempt whatsoever to act in "Mondo Cannibale" either, but the horny producers still insisted on casting her as the lead). But I'm obviously really grasping at straws to find ANYTHING nice to say about this. This movie has nowhere near the power of an Italian cannibal flick like "Cannibal Holocaust" and frankly it barely rises to the level of a bad Jess Franco imitation. Avoid with extreme prejudice.

For years, Cannibal Terror was believed by many to be the work of horror/sleaze director Jess Franco, a reasonable assumption since the film bears what seem to be most of the prolific Spaniard's hallmarks, most notably a dreadful script, unconvincing locales, inept direction, terrible acting, and endless meandering shots of nothing much in particular (and I guess, for some, it was also hard to believe that there might be another person out there who could make films quite as bad as Franco).

The real culprit, however, was French director Alain Deruelle, who proves that he can be just as inept as Jess when it comes to delivering jungle horror.

Deruelle's dreadful film follows a trio bumbling kidnappers-two men and one woman-who escape across the border (to where, I have no idea!) with their hostage, the young daughter of a rich businessman. Arriving at a safe house that borders 'cannibal country', the threesome are able to relax for a while, until one of the gang, Mario, decides to rape the wife of their host (after spying on her having a wash in a giant wooden bucket). This kick starts a chain of events that results in the criminals and their hostage being pursued by bloodthirsty natives, with the father of the little girl in hot pursuit.

Taking a leaf out of Franco's Big Book of Cannibal Movie-Making, Deruelle opts to set his adventure in what appears to be a large botanical garden, hires himself some of the least convincing cannibals ever to grace an exploitation film (some have sideburns, many have coiffured hair, a few have beer-bellies, nearly all of them are Caucasion, but none of them look like savages), and throws in some cheapo blood and guts (using what looks like pig carcasses to stand in for human remains) in order to satisfy the gore-hounds.

The result is a mind-numbingly dull piece of Euro-sleaze that now shares top spot with Mondo Cannibale on my Crap Cannibal Movie list.

Before watching "Terreur Cannibale" (aka. "Cannibal Terror") I was expecting to see a film of the kind that is so awful that it is actually kind of funny. Awful it is indeed, but in a manner that is nothing but... awful! I am a huge fan of the gruesome Italian Cannibal flicks that were made around the time (most memorably Ruggero Deodato's disturbing masterpiece "Cannibal Holocaust"). Director Alain Deruelle apparently wanted to cash in on this popular wave of gruesome movies about Cannibals, that were mostly ingeniously set in the Amazon Jungle. "Cannibal Terror" is also set in the jungle. A jungle that is very obviously situated in France, that is, however. I will not even try to explain the absolutely ridiculous and moronic story, the performances are among the worst I have ever seen. In the first half of the movie, Deruelle seemingly wanted to enhance the atmosphere by having crickets chirp for about ten minutes. The scenes change, but the chirping of the crickets keep monotonously drowning out all other sounds (such as the dialogue), which is even more annoying than it sounds.The 'Cannibals' in the film are entirely white guys in savage costumes, some of them sport beards, others are bald and have beer-bellies. Apart from being the whitest savages ever seen on film, they are also astonishingly well-behaved, as they never seem to leave their territory, and their hunger for human flesh apparently concerns bad people only. The score wouldn't be that bad, but it nearly always seems terribly out of place. Also, the gore-sequences are quite well-made and nauseating for a film with such a low budget. Nevertheless, it is beyond me why this film landed on Britain's infamous Video Nasty list, as nobody could possibly see anything but ridiculousness in this sorry attempt of a film. The moderately disgusting gore cannot save this. The only reason to watch "Cannibal Terror" is the wish to look at absolute awfulness. AVOID!