The Little Dragons

So...bought this for a "bad movie night". Picked it up for $1 at Wal-Mart. I loved it. Not because it's good...oh no...this is the second worst movie I have ever seen. (Want a REALLY bad movie? Check out "Manos and the Hands of Fate". If nothing else, it's included in an episode of MST3K) There is a plot to this one at least...psycho hillbillies kidnap a girl, and a couple of kids have to save her since the local police (and the FBI) are completely incompetent.

Not sure this was supposed to be a comedy...I sure laughed a lot though. The acting is downright flat...except the hillbillies, which are WAY over the top. The fight scenes are the furthest thing from realistic...I sure hope it was meant to be that way! All in all, if you see it on sale for $1 or less, and have 90ish minutes to kill, go ahead and grab it. I wouldn't recommend paying much more then that though. I promise you'll only want to watch this one once.

Hi, Everyone, Even The Three Stooges would not be able to save this. Any DVD of this movie should be in the Fertilizer Section of Home Depot.

A comedy movie needs a premise that is somewhat humorous. The basic plot here is the bad guys kidnap and try to kill two little kids. The bad guys never are funny like Herbert Lom as Dreyfus in The Pink Panther series. These are two hillbilly boys and their mom who are quite willing to do away with the children.

Every comedy moment in this film falls flat. The director seems to think a child swearing is very funny. That is done repeatedly in this senseless misadventure. How about putting a dog in a burlap bag? That should really make people laugh. Nope. The dumb sheriff always works, right? No, not here. The dumb sheriff's son who tries to be Barney Fife? He comes across more like a dumb sheriff's dumb irritating son.

Toilet humor. There is an abundance of toilet humor. It never gets a laugh. Not one performance stands out as being something that will help a career. Chris Peterson apparently never made another movie after this one. He was one of the boy Karate stars. He was the older one who was supposed to be the love interest of the girl kidnap victim in this movie.

The girl who is kidnapped is the daughter of two really messed up parents in this story. The movie tries to portray the family as a loving unit when that is convenient but they are shown to be a brainless trio in each of their appearances on screen. The parents are totally irresponsible and never charming or funny.

Who do we blame? There is real talent here. Charles Lane (J.J.), was in Music Man and It's a Wonderful Life and Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. John Davis Chandler (the smart hillbilly brother), was in Mad Dog Coll. Ann Sothern (hillbilly mom) was in many movies and she had two good TV series. Tony Bill who produced this and played a small part was the Producer of Sting with Paul Newman. Tony Bill Directed My Bodyguard with Chris Makepeace. Tony Bill Produced Going in Style with George Burns and Art Carney. Tony Bill as a young man appeared in the movie Come Blow Your Horn with Frank Sinatra and more than held his own. He also was in Pee Wee's Big Adventure.

I say we blame Tony Bill. Tony, you have to look at the dailies and say, "Wow. This really sucks! You're all fired! Let's start over." That was the only move that would have saved the stomach contents of anyone who watched this after eating.

I cannot recommend this even for a Bad Movie Night. It is not up to the level of a good bad movie. If they ever have an award for Most Flushable Movie, this will be an oddsmaker's favorite.

Instead of this, watch The Pink Panther Strikes Again or Dr. Strangelove with Peter Sellers and see how a comedy about grown ups being killed can be funny. Threatening kids does not work as a comedy or drama.

If you like the song Hokey Pokey or My Darlin' Clementine, they are sung here. They actually are done well. The little girl singer should have been cast in a musical instead of this.

Tom Willett

Is this supposed to be a comedy? The two bad guys are an unwitting comedy act, as is the deputy charged initially with the investigation of the kidnapping, but this is by no means the first American film in which country dwellers, hillbillies etc are portrayed as venal morons, and one has to wonder if by 1979 the joke was not already wearing thin. "Deliverance", a far more sinister and better known film released in 1972 set the bar for this kind of mischaracterisation, but "The Little Dragons" has managed to crawl under it.

Karate Kids USA is now most notable for being an early film from director Curtis Hanson, who would go on to win an Academy award for L.A. Confidential. It would only be fair to say that he got a lot better! This one is about some young karate kids who save a girl from some redneck kidnappers. It's another one of those times where you have to thank the DVD distribution company Mill Creek. These guys have time and time again rescued all manner of obscurities from oblivion and put them out for all to see on one of their mega DVD packs. This is another example but, in fairness, it's not really very good. There's not that much martial arts action, given the title you sort of expect a bit more. It's in essence an action-comedy with all manner of comic characters, such as dumb cops and stupid rednecks. Although it does seem to be pitched at an almost negligible demographic given that to all intents and purposes it is basically a kids movie yet has a few swear words and a quite disturbing character played by Joe Spinell who behaves a little too disturbing at times for a family audience. So, all-in-all, Karate Kids USA is something of a curiosity piece.

I saw Little Dragons in a late night viewing once and thought it was goofy fun in the same vein as Bad News Bears and Six Pack. I really think this film could work for kids today. If it was released on DVD I think it would sell moderately well what with the new Mutant Ninja Turtles animated flick coming to theaters soon. Okay, so it's obvious I have a selfish aim of getting this on DVD and couldn't find any other way to express that in words. I could dramatically get on my knees and beg.....

*gets on knees and begs*

There. Embarrassed myself for this mediocre film. Just at least send a copy to my house.

EDIT: had to. Just learned this is out on DVD under the title Karate Kids USA in the 50 movie pack Martial Arts from Mill Creek. So if you looked this up here on IMDb.com then go get that pack! 50 flicks for about $16! It's insane. And you'll go insane by the time you've viewed them all.