A Polish Vampire in Burbank

This is one of those movies that is so bad that you can't stop laughing. This is a flick best enjoyed with good friends with a sense of humor. Oh, the queerwolf idea was insane! We watched this movie 10 years ago and are still laughing about it.

Unlike the other rancid cheese from the same (I hesitate to call them this) filmmakers, Queerwolf, A Polish Vampire in Burbank is worth watching for the "Judo for Jesus" sequence.

While I do love camp vampire movies, this flick is too lowbrow for camp. If you are looking for quality camp in a vampire flick, stick with Innocent Blood or Buffy, The Vampire Killer. But when you already have a sixpack in you and a have your cardboard silhouette of Joel and the robots situated in front of the TV screen and feel hungry for some truly stinky cheese, then A Polish Vampire in Burbank with its Judo for Jesus and The Vampire Hookers (absolutely dreadful, but the song during the credits is hilarious) is for you.

I used to watch this when "USA Up All Night" was still on the air (Gilbert Gottfried and those timeless B-movies). You can actually order this movie directly from the company (Pirromount Pictures) for about $19.99.

Is it perfect? No, but it's the most fun you'll have watching something put together on a less-than-shoestring budget. There are some really funny scenes in here, and some classic lines. In my opinion, it's better than anything Troma ever released.

8/10.

I knew of this film years ago. When I was about 12 a few friends and I got together and ran this. I thought it was a charming little movie. Then I did some research and found out that it was made in someone's back yard with a home movie camera, and I was even more fascinated by it. Today I look around and see all these people making their own movies with video cameras and putting them up on websites like youtube and I have to look back at A Polish Vampire in Burbank and realize that this was one of the first 'do it yourself' movies. I just found it again recently and although the movie looks a bit dated today, it certainly takes me back to a time when individual movie making wasn't that common.

I was astounded to read somewhere that Mark Pirro did his film using super-8 mm film equipment! Wow! A true champion of the ultra-low-budget filmmaker! Of course, it also means the film is pretty grainy but if you're going straight to video, so what!