Phantom Kommando

Rating: *** 1/2 out of ****

Every time I'm accused by friends of being too tough or too picky on action movies made for pure entertainment (i.e. the works of Jerry Bruckheimer), I point back and tell them to look no further than Mark L. Lester's Commando as the prime example of a pure macho classic and the standard by which all mindless action cinema should be judged.

In its own simplistic ways, Commando is actually the epitome of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Whenever we think of the Austrian muscle-bound star's films; gun battles, fist fights, deadpan one-liners, a total lack of plot, and a ridiculously high body count come to mind. Commando represents all this, directed with high energy flair and a great sense of fun.

Schwarzenegger stars as John Matrix, a former commando who lives in the mountains with his young daughter (Alyssa Milano). Matrix's former teammates are being knocked off one-by-one at the orders of a Latino dictator (Dan Hedaya) who wants Matrix to assassinate a popular South American leader so that he can be instilled back in power. As incentive, Matrix's daughter is kidnapped by renegade military, led by Bennett (Vernon Wells), who was once part of Matrix's team. As soon as Matrix boards his flight, he kills his escort, leaps off the plane, and begins his eleven-hour search for his daughter. Inexplicably joining his search is a flight attendant (Rae Dawn Chong) who gets mixed up in this whole mess.

Commando is one of those critically berated movies that only concerns itself with giving its target audience a good time. Running at a lightning fast ninety minutes, the film is packed to the gunnels with explosive action sequences and quotable one-liners. In fact, the lines are so fun, I have a hard time choosing my favorites. Here are a few examples: "I eat green berets for breakfast and I'm very hungry,""Remember when I said I'd kill you last? I lied," and "Let off some steam, Bennett!"

The script is mindless and idiotic, but serves its purpose by providing just enough plot and enormously entertaining one-liners to keep the momentum from ebbing. There are also plenty of noticeable continuity errors (ask yourself how a guy standing behind a railing atop a balcony could be hit with shotgun pellets without the railing taking the slightest bit of damage!), but that just adds to the movie's list of unique charms.

But you don't watch Commando for plot or technical brilliance, you watch it to see Arnold acting as a one-man army, mowing down scores of enemy thugs and soldiers. Whether it's through the movie's various shootouts, fistfights, or chases, the movie delivers thrilling action one scene after another. The climactic battle sequence, in which he single-handedly takes on at least a hundred men, will either make or break the film for you. Me, I had a blast watching Arnold inflict his brand of justice upon these nasty villains. Unless you don't like Arnold or over-the-top action films, it's unlikely you'll find Commando boring.

Schwarzenegger's charismatic and hugely likable screen presence is undeniable, and his delivery of those classic one-liners is perfect. Luckily, the movie has an equally strong villain in Vernon Wells, who delights in chewing the scenery and generally acting as insane as possible in any given situation. From his manic facial expressions to his questionable tastes in clothing, Wells makes Bennett one of the few villains that really stand out in an Arnold flick. You know the movie's going to boil down to a one-on-one fight between the two, and it's one of those fight scenes where each one takes his turn beating the crud out of the other without one ever truly having the upper hand until the very end (when, obviously, one of them's got to be dead).

For pure mindless mayhem, Commando is a perfect choice for Saturday night entertainment. I first saw the film on its network broadcast premiere, and distinctly remember that in the scene where Arnold hides in the garden house (which is the film's goriest part), the movie is edited in such a way that it appears only one man approaches the house instead of six!

When I was growing up, I had two heroes on the big screen. One was Rambo and the other was Indiana Jones. They were two relentless characters that would never stop, never give up and their tenacity was stuff that kids or teens would swear by. When we were playing adventure games those were the two characters that always got chosen to play first. But the same year that Rambo II came out, a new hero was born. We all knew who Arnold was, he was the Terminator. But when Commando was released, one of my best friends said to me, " Hey Dan, I think this guy could take Rambo." After all Matrix says to Cook, " I eat green berets for breakfast and right now I'm very hungry!" I would maybe have to concur. Matrix was the toughest man alive ( until MacGyver came out ). And Commando is one of the best memories that I have as a young man growing up in the 80's. Besides it being a damn fine, fun movie, it also has two other elements that began to teach me about film. First a young Bill Paxton was in it and secondly I began to notice the name Joel Silver. He is the producer extraordinaire that is the man behind hits like Die Hard, Predator, Weird Science and more recently The Matrix. Now I look for his name in the producers chair and when he is on that poster as producer, I'll run to that movie.

Commando doesn't pretend to be something that it's not. The Rambo character was more into politics and it took itself a little more seriously than Commando did and that's fine. But this film is nothing but entertainment. It starts fast and violent and it ends hard and violent. You think Rambo kills a lot in Rambo, then count the bodies in this one. But it is so much fun because not only does Arnold have fun with it, but the script, as cheesy as it may seem is actually brilliant. Arnold's one liners are now a staple of his film persona and I think you can look at this film as the root of that persona. For example " Any carry on luggage? " the stewardess asks Arnold, " Just him," he replies pointing at the thug that is escorting him onto the plane. After he beats the hell out of Bill Duke he says, " We'll take Cooks car, he won't be needing it." And of course, to Bennett when they are about to fight mano a mano, "Come on Bennett, let's party!" Commando is littered with small moments like that you won't soon forget. It has stayed with me for 15 years and me and my friends rent it every now and again to laugh and cheer. If this a film that you haven't seen yet, then do so. If you haven't seen this film in quite a while, you should treat yourself to it. It is fun fun and more fun. And this is the first film that Arnold reprises his famous line " I'll be back!" So what's not to like about it?

Arnold Schwarzenegger is the embodiment of 80s-90s muscle-man action cinema, an era we can now look back on with nostalgia, mostly for its unabashed mixture of macho ultra violence and out-of-control kitsch. It's interesting to note that the Austrian Titan's first great commercial disappointment - Last Action Hero - was a parody of the genre he dominated. How do you parody parody itself? The man's best films, the first two Terminator films and Predator, rise above that, but most of his work is inches from being one big spoof.

While you can't parody the genre outright, you can take it to its extreme, and I'm not sure what Commando is or who it was meant for, but that's what it does. Schwarzenegger's John Matrix (a typical Austrian name, that) lives a life of mono parental bliss with daughter Jennie (or, as he calls Alyssa Milano, "Tchainee") until she is kidnapped and he is forced to throw all his retired killing machine skills into saving her.

We can run through the ingredients, it's actually worth it for once: - Body fascination. The film never hesitates to glory on Schwarzenegger's body, and while he isn't showing off with impossible feats (carrying a tree or busy phone booth) he just sits there, bare-chested, for the camera. - Homo-erotic subtext. If it's that in-your-face, it can't really be subtext. Beside the fact that this is probably an affront to gays everywhere, the tension between Ahnuld and main villain Bennett would be interesting if it weren't for... well... Bennett himself. I'd describe the world's most ill-conceived blockbuster villain for you, but I'd rather not ruin the surprise. Just youtube "Last Fight Scene - Matrix vs Bennett". - Gratuitous violence. Not much blood here, but every bullet that grazes the floor creates its own explosion. And the stunt-work reaches miraculous levels of retardation. - "Clever" One-liners. If that's your thing, you're in for a real treat. - Outrageous music: oh boy, you can't imagine... - Sexy but severely underused damsel in distress. Underused? We wish. Sexy, not quite.

It's hard to even rate this film. It makes for a delirious group viewing experience, but then again, nobody could ever honestly call it a good a film. And unlike True Lies, another very silly film, this hasn't aged gracefully at all, hence much of its "charm" is down to nostalgia. It's the only way to forgive the film's confounding technical ineptitude (the number of goofs and continuity disasters sets a record).

You have to see it to believe it. Then again, maybe not. Just check out the wildest bits and watch Predator instead.

Thank you YouTube!

Commando is directed by Mark L. Lester and written by Jeph Loeb, Matthew Weisman and Steven E. de Souza. It stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rae Dawn Chong, Dan Hedaya, Vernon Wells, James Olson, David Patrick Kelly, Alyssa Milano and Bill Duke. Music is by James Horner and cinematography by Matthew F. Leonetti.

John Matrix (Schwarzenegger) is the former leader of a special commando strike force that always got the toughest jobs done. He is forced back into action when his young daughter (Milano) is kidnapped by kingpin criminal Arius (Hedaya) and his gang of thugs. They want Matrix to carry out an assassination, but all Matrix has on his mind is to save his daughter - he has half a day to do so before the thugs will kill her - so it's now a private war...

After playing "Conan" and "The Terminator", Schwarzenegger slipped into a role that would prove to carry all the hallmarks of the big man's action movie career. Commando is awash with outrageous action, pure carnage and gruesome deaths, plenty of quippy one liners, and of course over the top villains.

Clocking in at just 90 minutes in length, it's the perfect "leave the brain at the door" popcorn crowd pleaser. Chong gets a well written lead lady part, giving us a spunky heroine who evolves as the plot grows ever more chaotic, and young Milano gets to play a resourceful child character.

High art it is not, but who cares if you want to just watch Arnie waylay a whole army on his own. Great fun. 7/10

The retired Special Forces Colonel John Matrix (Arnold Schwarzenegger) lives a calm life with his beloved daughter Jenny (Alyssa Milano) in an isolated house in the woods of a mountain. One day, his mentor Major General Franklin Kirby (James Olson) visits him and tells that the men he had trained for his unit are being killed and he leaves two soldiers to protect Matrix. However the helicopter of General Kirby has been followed by hit men that abduct Jenny and Matrix. Soon Matrix learns that Bennett (Vernon Wells) that belonged to his unit and was presumed dead is the responsible for attack to his house. Further, Bennett was hired by Arius (Dan Hedaya), a former president of a South American country that Matrix had overthrown. Now Arius wants Matrix to assassinate the president of his country in order to assume the position again otherwise he will kill Jenny. Matrix is forced to embark in a flight to the country with one of Bennett's thug while another one, Sully (David Patrick Kelly), will confirm that Matrix is in the flight. However Matrix manages to kill the thug and leave the plane and has eleven hours to save Jenny. He convinces the flight attendant Cindy (Rae Dawn Chong) to help him to save his daughter.

"Commando" is another great action movie from the 80's, maybe the best decade in the cinema history for this genre. The screenplay has non-stop action and funny and unforgettable moments. My favorite is when John Matrix tells to Sully that he likes him and he will be the last one to die. Soon he corrects, saying "I lied". I did not recognized Alyssa Milano, from "Charmed", in her second role as Jenny. My vote is seven.

Title (Brazil): "Comando Para Matar" ("Commando to Kill")