Barbarian Queen

I don't have much to say about this film. I was 13 when it first came out, and I saw it on video in '86. My only reason for watching this film was for the scantily dressed women warriors that were in it, having sex nearly every other scene. The torture chamber was my favorite scene, and the best line in the movie was when the torturer had Lana Clarkson on the rack, and after a brief torture, he decides to "bone" her. His reason, aside from suddenly being horny is "You're making a contribution to science." That line had me in stitches. Remember this line fellas the next time your girlfriend holds out on you!

An incredibly cheesy contribution to the Sword & Sorcery genre starring the late Lana Clarkson, Héctor Oliviera's "Barbarian Queen" of 1985, is a film that is absolutely ridiculous in almost any aspect, but that shouldn't be missed by anyone who can enjoy the cheesier kind low-budget trash flicks. From a mainstream point of view, Sword & Sorcery (& Boobs) flicks such as this one may be, but they can be so much fun to watch when they're not taken too seriously. "Barbarian Queen" might be described as an unintentional comedy, but it's pretty clear that the funny aspects were at least semi-intentional as the film never takes itself too seriously. I personally can't help it - I love films of this kind, cheesy and amateurish as they may be, and always have a good time watching them.

This little film's thin plot in particular tells the story of 'Barbarian Queen' Amethea (Lana Clarkson) who, together with a few other busty female warriors, decides to free her tribe from slavery and tyranny after their village has been razed to the ground by a ruthless tyrant. It's been stated that this is set in the times of the Roman empire, but the villains really have nothing Roman about them, I'd say the movie is set in a typical, undefinable Sword'n'Sorcery fantasy time, some of the folks look like medieval knights, others like Barbarians from more ancient times...

The whole movie is quite similar to an earlier Lana Clarkson movie, "Deathstalker" of 1983, In which she played a role that was almost the same as in this one. I personally enjoyed Deathstaker more, since it was gorier and the shlock factor was at times even higher, but "Barbarian Queen" is definitely also recommended if you're looking for enjoyable trash and a good laugh. The acting is, unsurprisingly, god-awful, and the set pieces sometimes make you wonder whether the hilarious flaws are really unintentional. "Barbarian Queen" delivers cheaply made but entertaining gore effects and a good amount of sleaze and a busty female cast that gets topless every five minutes.

"Barbarian Queen" may be anything but a masterpiece, but B-Movie and Exploitation fans like myself should enjoy it. Just don't expect anything that anyone who has read the title and seen the poster wouldn't anyway.

After surviving a brutal attack on her village on the day of her wedding to a tribal prince (Frank Zagarino), a tough female warrior (the late Lana Clarkson) seeks revenge. With the help of two equally powerful warriors (Katt Shea, Susana Traverso), she recruits more rebels before taking the battle to an evil army led by an evil king (Arman Chapman).

Silly, poorly acted (and poorly dubbed) romp is loaded with action and gratuitous nudity (just about every female bares it all, including Clarkson). Nothing original here, except the heroine using her vagina as a weapon against one of her captors and he complains that she's "too tight." Trashy and entertaining at the same time. My evaluation: ** out of ****.

The Barbarian Queen is Queen Amethea (Lana Clarkson), whose village is burned by evil warriors on the day of her prospective wedding, after which most of the people are killed or enslaved. She leads a group of rebels in opposition, including some women (like herself) whose forms fit well into the clothing of the day, and eventually leads an uprising by freeing the slaves. Not for its cultural or intellectual value at all, this film is most noteworthy for the women winning the swordfights with men but not faring so well if they are captured and/or enslaved. Nudity and bondage and fondling yes, but I have to say the most memorable scene occurs when Queen Amethea uses a unique method of escape after she has been captured and tied up in the warrior camp and is being fondled by one of her captors. Clear cut--for those who like this stuff yes, otherwise not much to offer.

An unenterprising addition to the (rightly) maligned '80s genre of the sword-and-sorcery movie (you'd be well advised to check out the likes of DEATHSTALKER and THE SWORD AND THE SORCERER instead of this uninspiring dreck) whose sole purpose seems to be to show as many naked women throughout the film as possible. But this isn't soft-core porn by any means; instead it's a low budget action epic, shot on the cheap in Argentina by a talentless bunch of guys who don't know two things about fight choreography (case in point: compare this film with a similar Shaw Brothers sword-fighting epic – no contest).

The film deserves note – and perhaps credit – for portraying some feisty and powerful female warriors who easily overthrow their male oppressors, but then proceed to turn this idea on its head by insisting that all of the female performers be naked or raped at one time or another. Although female torture, rape and molestation may sound unpleasant, rest assured that this film portrays the scenes as weakly and routinely as it can, without power.

Lana Clarkson ("I'll be no man's slave and no man's whore! And if I can't kill them all, by the Gods, they'll know I've tried!") is the Nordic beauty who leads a revolt against the aforementioned oppressors. I think these guys are meant to be Roman but you wouldn't guess, seeing as the costumes are so poor. Most of the film consists of drawn-out action sequences which are really poorly done and much less interesting than any Italian peplum from the '60s you could ever find. The middle section of the film consists of torture and contains an amusing scene of a guy being thrown into an acid bath, but that's about it.

Despite the inclusion of some muscular men in a gladiator battle, the excitement level is null. Expect to see lots of naked female flesh and some unwanted naked male flesh. Expect to see poor camera-work, shoddy and unconvincing gore effects and an utterly routine payoff for your time. Expect to see a level of film-making so cheap, unimaginative and unskilled that you can barely bother to watch the movie at all. Expect to see the sequel.