Beast Creatures

This was a real treat. The film starts off a little slow, so hang in there because once the action starts you will probably choke on your beer or mountain dew out of sheer hysterical laughter. In my journey through "grade Z" movies, it is movies like Attack of the Beast Creatures that make it all worth it. This is the type of movie that I put on that "special shelf" for the friends that don't want to have to think or invest much of themselves into a film. For those friends who you would like to impress with a movie so bad, that it is just beautiful. This was made at a time when bad films were at least still shot on film. Now days "grade z" movies are shot on daddy's new digital camcorder, so they don't have any real cinematic quality. This has some cinematic quality...OK, cinematic quality in a really "grade z" kind of way.

If you want Freddie Kreuger, Jason, or The Ring Meets the Grudge Part 4, then go to your local Blockbuster. Leave the trash to us trashmongers...I love it!

Remember that creepy little Zuni warrior doll that was after Karen Black in the TV-movie TRILOGY OF TERROR? This demented low-budget quickie offers a whole army of them! The one in TRILOGY was supposed to be a wooden carving that came to life, but the ones here are supposed to pass for flesh and blood monsters even though they're ridiculously immobile and nothing about them looks organic. The "beast creatures" look like crude homemade plastic imitations of the TRILOGY doll, painted flat red with no detailing and big plastic eyes that light up. Set in 1920 for no apparent reason, ATTACK has a lifeboat with nine shipwreck survivors (of course we don't see the shipwreck) drift to an uncharted island which has an unexplained pond filled with flesh-melting acid, another pond filled with safe drinking water (and fish), and a tribe of 10-inch-tall Beast Creatures. The carnivorous action figures are very aggresive and jump down out of trees to attack. The puppeteering is terrible and consists largely of off-camera assistants throwing the dolls at screaming actors. When the dolls need to move, you only see the upper halves of them like the Muppets. The only time you see their whole bodies is when stagehands have helpfully placed them in trees to make it look like they're peering down at their prey. None of the amateur actors are very good but they do seem to be giving it their best shot, running and screaming like crazy when the little guys attack. And, to be fair, there are some honest attempts at characterization. None of the protagonists are very bright. They seldom think to arm themselves with big sticks or branches, even after they know the little guys are dangerous flesh-eaters and that they go down pretty easily. One whack with a branch will send a beast creature sailing off into the bushes or smacking comically into a tree. Some of the dialogue is so bad it's hysterical, as when a character watches a guy fall onto a sharpened spike, stagger around screaming in pain, break the end of the spike off where it sticks out of his chest, scream some more, and then collapse, the other end still protruding from his back, and concludes that "He never knew what hit him." Another guy, a master of understatement, looks at a man who has been turned by the acid pit into a completely fleshless, clean white skeleton and calmly informs his companions, "There's nothing we can do for him now." Can't argue with that logic. Perhaps the strangest thing about the script is its total absence of any discussion of what the creatures might be, how they got there, or anything else about which normal people might wonder. Instead the actors say the same things to each other over and over, reciting the usual stranded-in-an-inhospitable-place cliches. At one point we see dozens of the critters gathered around a big carved idol that resembles a gigantic saltine cracker with a face. Nobody says anything about it and it's never mentioned again. So are the beast creatures supposed to be part human? Some species of mutant monkey or cat? Demons from hell? Aliens from space? Nobody in the film ever even speculates, preferring instead to keep yammering on about the need to get to higher ground, although I was never sure why. A couple of survivors are rescued at the end and their rescuers don't seem any more impressed by the discovery of an unknown and very strange new species than the other dullards were. With no real story to tell, the movie usually focuses on long, boring scenes of the characters walking around between the trees, punctuated by the frenzied, violent monster attacks. It isn't good cinema but it would make an excellent party tape to watch with friends. They should have stuck with the more mature shooting title of HELL ISLAND.

I have in the past seen terrible reviews of this flick, I could never figure out why. I can see via other comments that this movie isn't as hated as I once thought. True the budget is almost non-existent, but considering the results, the director is a genius. The film is generally creepy throughout, some of the scenes don't work...But surprisingly most do. You will be entertained, and really who could ask for more than that?

A group of ship wreck survivors lands on an island in the middle of no where. Much of the islands water will cause their flesh to dissolve!! A tribe of creepy, hungry little folk inhabit this island...And want to devour the survivors! Not a good day. Get this movie if you can and give it a watch. 7/10

A kinetic, out-if-the-ordinary skid-row monster movie that turned out good against all odds(my use of the word "good", mind you, being pertinent to entertainment value as opposed to aesthetic quality). The title terrors are a tribe of screaming, white-eyed, 10"(that's right...ten inch) toothy trolls with long hair, which besiege their prey like a school of spear-wielding land-piranha. Potential victims-to-be are a handful of shipwreck survivors washed ashore on an uncharted tropical island inhabited by the "beast creatures". These unfortunate souls have more to contend with than the monsters alone, namely rivers of acid, hunger, thirst, and each other.

A perfect example of a no-budget monster movie that managed to get it right...I'd recommend this over the bulk of widely recognized titles any day, and with little hesitation.

6/10...fun stuff.

After their ship sinks "somewhere in the North Atlantic", the survivors make their way to a seemingly deserted island. Little do they know, they're not alone. Astonishingly, the group splits up, heading off in several different directions. This proves to be... unwise.

ATTACK OF THE BEAST CREATURES, in addition to having one of the greatest titles ever, is low-budget, imbecilic terror at its zenith! It wastes no time at all in becoming as ridiculous as possible! The lack of any funding is an asset, allowing for the title "monsters" to emerge, hitting us like hickory planks to our faces! You'll sit wide-eyed and slack-jawed as these killer dolls begin their onslaught!

The cast, though akin to human furniture, is fun to watch, especially when they die!

AWESOME SCENES: #1- A man dunks his head into a stream for a drink, and comes up a bit... lightheaded! #2- Another man is completely relieved of his skinsuit!

I want a BEAST CREATURE doll for my birthday! You will too!...