Wheels of Fire

Hideous rip-off of the "Road Warrior" genre -- low-budget and low-brow, the worst of the worst. It might be sort of amusing in that MST3K way, with goofy scenes that recall "R is for Rocket" and the Morlocks, except that the whole thing is so disturbingly misogynistic. If you decide to rent this, don't tell anyone whose respect you want that you're doing it.

Wheels of Fire is another low-budget rip-off of The Road Warrior from Filipino director Cirio H. Santiago, packed with poorly executed action scenes, diabolical acting, and cruddy costumes and props (one motorbike is customised with what looks like plastic halloween pitchforks), all of which only serves to further illustrate just how brilliant George Miller's iconic movie actually is.

Gary Watkins plays Trace, a fearless warrior who takes on the evil Scourge (Joe Mari Avellana) and his ruthless gang after they kidnap and gang rape his sister Arlie (played by big-breasted blonde Playboy playmate Lynda Wiesmeier). On his mission, Trace teams up with tough female fighter Stinger (Laura Banks), telepath Spike (Linda Grovenor), and a dwarf who speaks a bizarre language (this character probably has a silly name as well, but I don't recall what it was).

With a race of subterranean albino cannibals and a cult of struggling survivors who are building a rocket to the planet Paradise, this one gets pretty silly at times, but Santiago's uninspired direction, the dreadful dialogue, and dismal performances ensure that boredom is never far away. Wiesmeir is game for being strapped topless to the hood of a speeding car, and Trace flame-throwing countless bikers is fun for a while, but the bulk of the film is pure post-apocalyptic poop.

3.5 out of 10, rounded up to 4 for IMDb.

Yet another in the assembly line of low budget "Mad Max" / "Road Warrior" ripoffs actually isn't bad at all, even if it IS derivative. Give credit to the extremely prolific producer & director Cirio H. Santiago: he takes the script by Frederick Bailey and just hits the ground running. He offers very little in the way of let-up, and plenty of action. Our hero could have used a touch more charisma, but he's passable, and the bad guys are such loathsome scum that it's satisfying to watch them come to their ends.

Gary Watkins ("The Long Riders", "Johnny Dangerously") stars as "Trace", a lone wolf in a post- apocalypse future. His kid sister Arlie (Playboy Playmate Lynda Wiesmeier) ends up abducted by the villainous Highway Warriors led by a power crazed goon appropriately named "Scourge" (Joe Mari Avellana, a familiar name to you if you've watched enough Filipino exploitation). With the help of a killer named "Stinger" (Laura Banks) and a young clairvoyant girl named "Spike" (Linda Grovenor), he takes on the scores of minions that come his way.

"Wheels of Fire" is going to be too nasty and hard-edged for some tastes. It will never be mistaken for a feminist statement. But those of you who love a bit of sleaze to go with your brainless futuristic thrills should be more than satisfied. Wiesmeier is made to go topless a great deal of the time, and at one point is tied spread eagle across the hood of a car. There's no excessive gore to concern more squeamish viewers, but that DOESN'T mean that this isn't still plenty violent. For example, Trace has a flamethrower mounted on his vehicle and he just LOVES to set guys on fire.

Performances are all perfectly suited to the material. They won't win Oscars, but who cares? Watkins is okay, and the ladies look just fine. Fortunately, both Banks and Grovenor get to be fairly heroic themselves and handle themselves capably in fight scenes. Avellana is a decent villain, Joseph Zucchero is amusing as a dude named "Whiz", and Jack S. Daniels is a hoot as a wretched piece of excrement named "Scag".

Acceptable genre entertainment gets its biggest boost from the rousing, full orchestral score by the talented Christopher Young ("Hellraiser").

Seven out of 10.

Yes, this is a Road Warrior Rip off. The Vehicles, the bad guys, the good guy (who is pretty damn indestructible and, once again proves, never leave an enemy behind alive, as the bad guys do). The stunts are horrifically bad, the acting ranges from OK (Linda Weismeier's breasts, but she isn't a bad actress at all, by the standards of this pretty so bad it's good movie). The story is really non-existent, and the constant use of a flamethrower by the hero on bad guys didn't bother me at all (After all they were murderous rapists), but it did make me think of George Carlin's comment that Flamethrowers prove that someone really wanted to set a bunch of people on fire, but just couldn't reach them! My big question about this is, if it's the future, how come only muscle cars and automatic weapons seem to have survived? And how the hell did German MP-40 machine pistols survive into the future? Either way, this was way more enjoyable that Exterminators of the Year 3000, Rats: Night of Terror, The New Barbarians, After the Fall of New York and the totally atrocious, Warriors of the Wasteland. Worth a view.

I only write reviews of movies with low rating, which actually are not that bad. Give them a chance!

At first I thought that this is ''yet another Mad Max wannabe'', but this is THE BEST Mad Max wannabe! The main character looks the same as Max, they all drive similar vehicles, live in dessert... almost everything is the same, but still, it was great to me! I love post- apocalyptic movies, and if you like them too, make sure to watch this one! Don't expect something spectacular, this still is a rip-off, but the best one of all, at least for me.

6.5/10