Der Senkrechtstarter

I remember RHINESTONE's extremely short tenure in theaters when I was a teenager but never saw the film until it turned up unexpectedly on Country Music Television (CMT) earlier this week. I sat down expecting to laugh AT the movie, not WITH it, because on paper, the idea of Sylvester Stallone learning to become a country singer so that Dolly Parton can win a bet with her sleazy manager sounds like a train wreck of Biblical proportions. But y'know what? In spite of myself I found myself chuckling at the screwball humor in RHINESTONE. Stallone is not exactly known for his comedic stylings, but I have to give him credit, he gave it the old college try in his role as a mumble-mouthed NYC cabbie who tries hard to discover his inner redneck. Dolly Parton, well, she's Dolly Parton. She made quite a few movies in the late 70s and early 80s and though she may not be considered a great actress, she's light, funny, and easy on the eyes as well. Some of the priceless moments include Sly's fringed, sparkly stage wear (which wouldn't have looked out of place in the Blue Oyster Bar of "Police Academy" fame), Dolly punching out Tim Thomerson (Jack Deth would be horrified at how easily she took him out!), and Sly's race through the mean streets of 1984 Times Square on horseback to rescue Dolly from her manager's clutches. On the musical side, well, let's just say I doubt that the soundtrack album to RHINESTONE burned up the charts back in '84. Dolly can sing anything and make it sound good, so Sly should be grateful that she joins him on stage in the big finale to salvage his "performance" (and I use that term loosely). I doubt Sly Stallone looks back on this movie with much fondness, but considering that I was expecting a total cheese fest I was pleasantly surprised by this fluffy '80s comedy. They really don't make'em like this anymore.

This one was quite an embarrassment to Sly, as he's often said while interviewed. I like Dolly Parton & they no doubt had their fun making this film but I was as shocked as so many of Sly's other fans were to see him doing things here that are so un-like him & what he's 'expected' to be! So much of it was 'un-cool'. Yet there were some tender moments between him & Dolly. All in all, if these 2 wanted to do a film together, they needed another vehicle. It seemed Sly moved over in Parton's 'territory' when she should have moved on over to his if they wanted this to work. Of course, that's just my opinion. Rent this one if you want to laugh at Sly.

I love this movie. Not because it is a particularly good movie but it definitely leaves a memorable impression. In what other film can you see Sylvester Stallone adorned in a fringed jacket, western shirt, tight pants, chaps, and high heeled cowboy boots? I mean please, who could ask for more? Stallone attempts to sing as well. I have heard worse. Also, the dialog is hilarious. Being from the South, it resonates with the sounds of my youth. Of course, Rhinestone is filled with the obvious stereotypical portrayals of rural residents. However, it is not rude or mean spirited to the populace located below the Mason Dixon line. In a fashion, the movie rather celebrates and embraces those individuals. Believe me, there are some memorable moments to this cinematic adventure. Just give it a chance - spend 111 minutes laughing at Stallone and singing with Dolly. If the more urbane members of my clan can appreciate this film even high brow viewers can participate in parody from time to time.

Rhinestone has been one of those notorious flops I'd always heard about like Glitter or Showgirls that you just had to see to believe. Now that I've seen it, I can safely say that they were right. Unfortunately, Rhinestone isn't some hidden gem that just had the misfortune of bad marketing, cruel reviews, or being ahead of its time - it's truly terrible.

The story has Dolly Parton as a country western singer in NYC who's desperate to get out of a contract she's locked herself into with a sleazy Ron Liebman. In order to do this, they wager a bet that she can't turn a regular Joe off the street into a "rhinestone cowboy." They pick dimwitted cabbie Sylvester Stallone and it becomes apparent that Parton has her work cut out for her.

In typical rom com fashion, Parton and Stallone strike up somewhat of a romance, but the main issue is that they have very little chemistry together. Stallone seems miscast from the get go. He doesn't have a funny or musical bone in this body and most of the film shows Parton struggling to get him to lighten up and it's very uncomfortable to watch. Perhaps if there'd been a different leading man, this would have worked since the concept isn't horrible.

Parton proves again that she's a natural on screen and she's enjoyable even when the film isn't.

This is one of the funniest Stallone comedies there is, if nothing else for the fact that Stallone is so bad at it! Imagine an NYC cab driver turned country & western singer? What could be better than that? Dolly provides a solid comedy performance as well. If nothing else check this out just for the laughs!