Zwei Schlitzohren rechnen ab

I fist saw this movie sometime in the mid-eighties back in Saudi, channel 3, although, any nudity was edited out. It left a solid impression on me, particularly some of the quotes by Kirk D. and James C., and the way that rich punk Reggie talked pouring alcohol on the floor "go ahead lick it up, ain't nobody but us watch'in and we don't give a sh*t", to a drunk James C., who replies with a cool deep voice "you piss'in me off Reggie". Also James C.'s shoot out scene with some spanish bandit...spanish dude "senor we are six people with two horsees, and you are 2 peoples with 3 horsees , we would only like to borrow one of your horsees" ...Sherif replies "Go to hell." The Movie is well worth a view, I'd give it a *** out of ****.

I can't believe someone paid Douglas and Coburn to do this...ugh. Awful and I'm a good judge. The "straw" in the wagon is green... need I say more?

I think perhaps both Kirk Douglas and James Coburn might have wished they had left their guns in their holsters if they ever got round to watching this really mediocre and tired drama that rather sells the genre short. The former is ageing outlaw "Holland" who has just been released from a long term in prison. He heads to a local town where he alights on a crooked poker game. He proceeds to fleece "Bell" (Derek McGrath) but in a contretemps afterwards, kills the sheriff and himself is shot before fleeing into a local hotel. It's the traditional Mexican stand off - and to Mexico, they got to find the solution. An equally aged and past his use-by-date "Starret" (Coburn) who is coaxed from his bottle to come and face down "Holland" on behalf of the petrified townsfolk. It tries it's hand at humour, and there is no getting away from the fact that both actors do exude lots of charisma, but the whole thing just looks cheap and cheerful. The dialogue is pedestrian, and the gunfights look more like circus performances than than anything we would have seen at the "OK Corral". Unlike John Wayne's last effort "The Shootist" (1976) which respected the genre and his part in it's development, this really just provides two screen legends with a poorly thought out, semi-comic, series of escapades that make for a really disappointing made-for-television swan song for both.

Kirk Douglas plays an old outlaw named "Harry Hollande" who has seen better days and just wants to be left alone. When he drifts into a town named Bell City and wins some money at a poker game, things turn south for him very quickly. He finds himself forced into a gunfight and kills the sheriff in self-defense. Being wounded himself--and knowing he will not get a fair trial--he then decides to take an attractive woman named "Bess" (Alexandra Bastedo) hostage in her hotel room in order gain time to plan his escape. Fearing his fast draw the deputy rides a short distance to Mexico and retrieves a famous ex-sheriff named "Sam Starret" (James Coburn). Unknown to everybody else, Sam Starret is a complete alcoholic who can barely stand up on his own. At any rate, rather than spoil what is essentially a good comedy I will refrain from discussing what happens next. I would like to say however that James Coburn puts on a really great performance and in my opinion steals the show. Other decent performances were done by Kirk Douglas and Alexandra Bastedo. On the minus side though was the showing of the naked buttocks of Kirk Douglas--which was totally unnecessary for this film--along with some of the crude language used. While I certainly wasn't offended by any of it, I just didn't think it was necessary or essential. Be that as it may, this was an enjoyable western-comedy and I think most people will probably get a few laughs at the very least.

In this cute western, Kirk Douglas plays an ex-con recently released from prison. He tries to start over in a small town, but once the townspeople recognize him, they try to run him out of town. Early on, he gets shot, and no one lifts a finger to help him. It's actually a pretty sad scene, but keep watching, because it gets much better! He holes himself up in an old hotel and takes the beautiful Alexandra Bastedo hostage-but she doesn't really mind. . .

I couldn't understand why one of the running gags in the movie was making cracks about Kirk Douglas's age; this was not a "old guys still got it" role. He shoots at bad guys, hops around in action scenes, struts around in his underwear, and has a sex scene! And he looked just fine to me. In fact, one of my favorite scenes in the movie is one of his dialogues with Alexandra Bastedo. They're in a bedroom, and after some seductive banter, he unbuttons his pants and walks slowly across the room to her. Finally, he breaks the silence by sticking his middle finger through a hole in his pants and asking, "Can you sew?" Too funny! What more could a girl want?

Draw! was an unexpected treat when I rented it; I found it much more enjoyable than the average western. It's funny, charming, suspenseful, and romantic. A great choice for your next movie night, for fans and non-fans of the western genre. For a fun double feature, rent Dirty Dingus Magee as well!