Luggage of the Gods!

Strange is right! But LUGGAGE OF THE GODS doesn't make itself a terribly bad comedy, either! It's so off-the-wall that the intimacy of its cornball humor makes this enjoyably fun from start to finish, and it's a good idea that it wasn't a raunchy sex comedy that would've trashed this into oblivion. The cavemen are drop-dead hilarious when they get a new breed of life through the discoveries of radios, clocks, jumpsuits, and tons of baggage. Character names like "Yuk" and "Hubba" fits the personality of this extra-unusual comedy perfectly. In other words, a short little programmer that doesn't make any complete bit of sense (not even its minimal dialogue), but manages to stay funny while the imagination rests upon how history would've changed the books forever. That's the work of simple creativity! Try something different for a change, and you may find this one to be pretty good.

And as every single of us know in the beginning of time and destiny, AIRPLANES DIDN'T EXIST!!!

I caught this movie once when it first came out, it was billed at the drive-ins with Karate Kid - yes Karate Kid. I split my gut and you will too if you play along. The film was shot in Van Cortland Park of NYC on a really, really low budget. Yes, Neanderthals in VC Park. Since I had no expectations of the movie - no one would have since there were virtually no reviews of this ultra-low-distribution film, everything in the film was unexpected. The risk is in the buildup for this movie - saying too much and building too high expectations will kill the effect of its humor. It was released very near the date that The Gods Must be Crazy was released, as a coincidence, and neither was shot with big budgets and both were entertaining.

So, very doubtful you were looking for this film directly and happened upon it by chance.

My review was written in June 1983 after a screening at Bombay Cinema in Midtown Manhattan.

"Luggage of the Gods" is a mild indie comedy filmed in New York last year by tyro filmmakers that recalls Carl Gottlieb's 1980 "Caveman". Producer Jeff Folmsbee and helmer David Kendall have gotten technical value from a tiny budget, but the wryly-titled opus lacks the punch of invention needed to escape the "specialized U. S. indie" ghetto and find more commercial markets.

Story premise recalls Ismail Merchant-James Ivory's 1972 "Savages" and Jamie Uys's recent international hit "The Gods Must Be Crazy" in limning the impact of modern civilization and its products upon an untouched tribe of primitives. Yuk (Mark Stolzenberg) is a cave painting artis exiled from his tribe (living unchanged from prehistoric time somewhere in North America) for violating a taboo by looking up at the jet planes that periodically fly overhead.

With his sidekick Tull (Gabriel Barre), Yuk rummages through and puts to use a treasure trove of luggage jettisoned from a plane. A lame subplot has two crooks looking for a crate of rare paintings (dropped from the plane) and fighting with the tribe until defeated by Yuk and Tull.

Slowly-paced picture lags between gags, most of which are repetitive variations of the basic feeling-superior reaction of watching a savage misuse or ingeniously invent a new use for a familiar modern object. Writer-director Kendall fails to develop his material beyond the level of an elongated blackout sketch. One missed opportunity occurs when Yuk finds a one-hand miniature 8mm film projector. Instead of developing the cultural shock (commonly observed among primitives who have never seen a movie before) of the incident, Kendall has Yuk immediately assimilate the artificial image of a silent G-rated (not stag) film and introduce "the kiss" to his tribe.

Funniest motif, when the tribe takes the 1960s pop song "Build Me Up, Buttercup" (heard on a radio found in the luggage) as its chant, is little more than a variation on the discovery of polyrhythms around the campfire that was the highpoint of "Caveman". Without the money to compete with major productions, tyro filmmakers should concentrate on creating a novel alternative to mainstream fare, rather than a small-scale version of it.

Leads Stolzenberg, Barre and heroine Gwen Ellison are physically expressive in roles utilizing a made-up, simple language; some extraneous English narration is voiced-over to bookend the film. Cengiz Yaltkaya's marimba playing and his background musical score are the dominant contrast during much of the heroes' uneventful trek through New York parks.

Let's face it, Luggage of The Gods isn't GONE WITH THE WIND or CASABLANCA. THE GODS MUST BE CRAZY was a very odd foreign film that somehow got a cult following around the world. Director David Kendal who would go on to shows such as GROWING PAINS did a nice attempt with this very low budget film. The actors in this film are New York stage actors. Not necessarily Hollywood stars, but good actors nonetheless. Especially Mark Stolzenberg. Mark Stolzenberg has popped up as both an actor and a clown in many films and plays over the years, and has written great books on clowning, Mime, and comedy. This is purely a cute film about a group of prehistoric cavemen and women living in modern day America, who never knew that society advanced. It's a great lesson on silent film acting.

GIVE IT A CHANCE

My mother keeps a cassette of this film as a general threat to any film loving person who annoys her. Everything about it stinks.

As such it is a true classic.

Who gave it 10/10? Were you inadvertently watching a good film and accidentally voted for this one?

Everyone involved in the movie making process should be forced to watch at least a small section of this film. It should be an indelible stain on the minds on all that hold film sacred and be revered as the tide mark of the cinematically dire.