Frauengefängnis

Well, I'm finally forced to admit it--up to now I've never seen a Jess Franco film (well, not knowingly, anyway; the guy has used 189,000 different names, so I might have seen one among his incredibly prodigious output made under one of those names though I didn't know it at the time). Naturally I knew about him, and his reputation, but I finally got around to seeing my first of one of his films today. And it was this one. And I'm still recovering.

All things considered, though, I've seen worse--not much worse, but worse. Then again, you can't judge a Jess Franco film by such arbitrary standards as "good" or "bad"; they just don't apply. Was it well made? No. Was it well acted? No. Was it well written? God, no. Was it enjoyable? Hell, yes. Its enjoyability factor was due in large part to the plethora of gratuitous nudity and just-this-side-of-porn sexual activities--sexual abuse, molestation, rape, incest, lesbianisn, voyeurism, and everything else that makes life worthwhile (at least in a Jess Franco film). It wasn't just the nudity and the sex that make this film so much fun, though. It was the joyously demented attitude of the thing. You got the feeling that Franco said to himself, "Well, I've managed to scrape together a couple of bucks; let's make a sleazoid women in prison picture and get Lina Romay naked as often as humanly possible"; for that philosophy alone he should have gotten a special Oscar.

As for the "plot"--as if you care about such trivial matters--a lezbo warden and an effeminate phony doctor run a combination womens prison/torture chamber/home for retired and/or escaped and/or wannabe Nazi concentration camp guards in an unnamed South American country (although it was shot in the Central American country of Honduras, something I'm sure the Honduran government wasn't particularly jazzed about when it finally found out what Jess was up to while shooting in one of their prisons)

As a movie, it's not really very good (actually, it stinks). As an example of the "Jess Franco experience", it's somewhat better. As a showpiece for Lina Romay's incredible sex appeal and terrific body, it's a masterpiece. If you go into it with the right attitude, it can be a lot of fun.

Come to think of it, even if you DON'T go into it with the right attitude it can be a lot of fun. Enjoy.

Barbed Wire Dolls (1975)

*** 1/2 (out of 4)

A young woman (Lina Romay) is sent to prison after accidentally killing her father (Franco himself) who was trying to rape her. Inside the prison she must deal with an evil warden (Monica Swinn), a mixed up doctor (Paul Muller) and all sorts of sexually hungry lesbians. As far as WIP (Women in Prison) films go then this is without question the best one I've seen as it has no limits to the amount of trash it will go to whether it be violence, torture, nudity or sexual abuse. The film never takes itself overly serious and instead is just a good time if you can stand this type of thing. Romay has the perfect look for the good girl and really delivers on that level. Her sexuality certainly shine through as does the rest of the girls. I've said quite often that no one knows how to film women better than Franco and his camera is constantly looking over all the beautiful women and picking up everything he can. Swinn is also in good form as the lesbian warden who love to torture and rape. Franco keeps the action moving through the rather short 80-minute running time, which is a great thing as the film never slows down or gets boring. All of the women makes for good characters to root for and all he bad guys are great villains including the Governor who gets his kick watching his assistant do the women. The highlight of the film however belongs to a flashback sequence where we see Romay kill her father being played by Franco. This scene, shot in slow motion, is just so incredibly silly that you can't help but laugh out loud.

www.eattheblinds.com

There's a scene in Barbed Wire Dolls that is so perfectly horrible it should be cinematic legend. It's a young girl's flashback of her father (played by Franco himself) attempting to rape her. The entire scene is shot with Franco's patented wandering zoom, a lens slathered with vaseline and a slow motion effect you have to see to believe.

Doing double-duty as "Cinematographer," Franco apparently didn't realize you could change the frame rate on the camera and decided slow motion is best acquired through slow motion acting. Yup, actors pretending to go through the motions in real time slow motion. Hilarious.

For someone who hates his own movies and wishes he'd directed Citizen Kane, Franco's taste is not nearly as bad as the choices he consistently makes behind the camera. Within the realm of bad movies, if Ed Wood Jr. is Orson Welles, then Jess Franco is quite possibly John Ford. High praise, indeed. Barbed Wire Dolls is a B- movie with so many juicy tidbits of ineptness, tasteless raunch, camp and cliché you can't help but love this senseless mess. See the slow motion genius for yourself:

Now some people are complaining about the lack of plot, however there is a plot; a weak one, but yes it is there. Most characters are pulled from Ilsa - The Wicked Warden (another Franco movie) and yet all I wanted was for Dyanne Thorne to play a cameo. As a fan of exploitation movies such as Ilsa, I was hoping this was going to be something familiar. And by 'something familiar' I don't mean the same characters and same set. I'm looking for new torture, new sleaze and the like. Other then super fake electrical shocks there is none of that. Just badly dubbed naked girls who pretend to masturbate. If that's what I was looking for then I suppose I would have to have rated this movie more then a 4/10 but it was a little to soft-core for me. And for that I apologize.

"Barbed Wire Dolls" has to be one of the sleaziest Women in Prison epics ever created.This is Franco's first film for Swiss producer Erwin C.Dietrich and it offers tons of nudity and sleaze.A beautiful Maria(Lina Romay)is imprisoned in a penitentiary run by a cruel lesbian warden(Monica Swinn).She is accused of murdering her father(played by Jesus Franco himself)but the wardress actually did the deed.Once in prison,Maria is tortured by being tied nude to metal bed-frame which is hooked up to electrical current."Barbed Wire Dolls" is as sleazy as they get.The film features incredible amount of sleaze including whippings,masturbation with a cigarette,lesbian sex scenes,rape and a close up of one of the inmate's private parts being penetrated by a guard's fingers.The acting is actually not bad and the film is never boring.So if you're a fan of European exploitation give this dirty classic a look.9 out of 10.