Der Dritte bringt den Tod

I first saw "The Teacher" at a drive-in. I have owned it on VHS video and have ordered it on DVD. It is one of my all-time favorites and I guess, a guilty pleasure. I agree that Angel Tompkins carries the film and that Jay ("Dennis The Menace") North was a strange and rather ironic choice for her co-star. I don't recall any scene where they have sex on a rooftop in the rain, as someone else has previously commented and I have seen the film quite a few times. It is a breezy and enjoyable film, despite the strange, unexpected, out-of-place and unnecessary subplot about a psychotic admirer of Angel Tompkins character and an unexpected finale.

"The Teacher" has been sitting in my film collection for several years now, as part of the "Drive-In Cult Classics" box, but I was never in a particular hurry to see it. That is until I watched a joyous 80s flick named "They're Playing with Fire" a couple of days ago and learned that it was a remake of this film, and by the same director Howard Avedis. Since the 80s version was so much fun, and simply because I don't like the idea of having seen a remake but not the original, "The Teacher" received some priority.

For the record, though, they are quite different movies. Both do indeed revolve around an incredibly hot female teacher in her late twenties seducing one her clueless senior year students, but that's where the similarity ends. "They're Playing with Fire" has a convoluted plot in which the teacher has a sneaky reason to manipulate her boy-toy, and there's a psychotic killer roaming around. "The Teacher" is much simpler since there's only one pervy stalker. Certain sequences are identical, though, like when the confident teachers ask their shy young lovers to kiss them for the first time. And, it must be underlined, writer/director Avedis has a great talent for casting the ideal cougar-teachers! Angel "my-first-name-is-accurate" Thompson was one of the finest exploitation starlets of the 70s, and Sybil Danning is the ultimate queen of the 80s.

Thompson is also the only real reason to recommend "The Teacher" to fans of exploitation cinema. The story is rather tame, and the amount of action is minimal, hence the highlights include - shallow as it may be - Angel sunbathing topless on a boat, or Angel undressing for the nervous kid. I kept waiting for a twist about why the beautiful woman messes around with her student's feelings, but apparently the script wants us to believe she's genuinely in love with him. That's not exactly ethical of you, Mrs. Marshall, but okay. The sub plots of the accidental death of Sean's friend and the crazy stalker lead nowhere. Apart from staring viciously and popping out of nowhere, Anthony James doesn't have much to do. Let's file this under "watchable but unmemorable".

For thirty-three years I'd been jonesing to see THE TEACHER, grindhouse auteur Hikmet Avedis' homage to THE GRADUATE, which somehow eluded me during its original Times Square run. Blessed is the patient schlock film fan, for his forbearance shall be rewarded. Thanks to the miracle of DVD and the munificence of BCI Eclipse, I finally caught up with this much-touted jewel in the Crown International catalog, and am pleased to report that it was all that and a bag of Swavorski rhinestones. Like its contemporary, THE GODFATHER: PART II, THE TEACHER is daring in its narrative structure. Unlike the Coppola film it's also ludicrous in the extreme, but then you can't have everything. Part leering soft-core romp, part tender coming-of-age drama, part stalk-and-chill suspenser, the movie's mismatched ingredients come together to form a blissfully surreal, silly whole.

The cast list alone makes it deserving of enshrinement in the Psychotronic Hall of Fame.

First and foremost, there's top-billed and bottom-perfect Angel Tompkins as a middle schooler's fantasy come to life, the hubba hubba homeroom teacher who just happens to be freshly divorced, hot to trot, and living right down the block. Charming and sensitive, Tompkins gives a performance that goes above and beyond the call of booty. She invests the role with such persuasive passion that one can almost believe her attraction to a most unlikely lust object: Jay North, the actor formerly known as Dennis the Menace, age twenty-two, sporting a double chin, a perpetual smirk, a Little Lord Fauntleroy page boy, and no discernible acting talent. To his credit, North is in the moment and then some during several graphic clinches with Angel.

Mr. Wilson would have been aghast. Or green with envy. I was both.

The call sheet also includes such bizarro world superstars as Med Flory (Worshefski, the bullying football player, in THE NUTTY PROFESSOR) as North's bullying father, Barry "Janos Skorzeny" Atwater as a snoopy sheriff, BURNT OFFERING's Anthony James as a psycho stalker, and in WTF-writ large cameos, Katherine "Mother of John" Cassevetes and Lady "Mother of Gena" Rowlands as a pair of chattering restaurant patrons.

Not much to add from the mish mash of reviews. I will give it a shot anyway. First off, I do not think this film was meant to be taken seriously. I sense the irony in having Jay North as the naive teen being seduced by his lovely teacher. Added irony is that Jay North aka Sean and his teacher are being stalked by vet Anthony James aka Ralph. Hmmmm wasn't 'Dennis the Menace' the kid that just would not leave Mr. Wilson alone. Perhaps I am reaching, perhaps not. In any event, the acting did not stand out , except for Anthony James, who I felt was brilliant as the stereotypical psycho vet. For male viewers like myself... You have to love the 'generosity' of Angel Thompkins , showing off her natural assets. This was part of my set and I felt it was better than I expected. As you can see I do not expect much from these bulk movie deals . Worth a watch. I must admit , it was refreshing to see a film go against the tide of PC. I do not think film makers would have much guts to do a film like this today. This was a very average flick and please folks , accept it for what it is. I do think it was meant to be somewhat spoofy.

Former "Dennis the Menace" star Jay North and WIP-vet Angel Tompkins star in this ridiculous story of an affair between a student and a "teacher" (funny, we never see her actually teaching anything). Tompkins clocks some obligatory nude scenes, but anyone expecting a softcore sex romp is going to be pretty disappointed--this movie has an actual (if completely deranged) plot where both characters are being stalked by a crazed Vietnam vet who's obsessed with the teacher and blames the kid for the death of his younger brother (don't ask). Any entertainment value is purely unintentional, however. The kid's parents are especially hilarious. The mother foists her son on this "older woman", saying things like:"I know he's my son, but I find Sean very attractive." His father on the other hand is totally alarmed that his boy might be making the beast with two backs with a sexy, 28-year-old woman (every father's worst nightmare I'm sure). It all ends completely preposterously. This is evidently supposed to be a tragic drama, but I would recommend it as a so-bad-it's-good comedy were it not for the very slow final act and the wretched, vomit-inducing theme song. OK, but not great.