Flotte Teens und die neue Schulmieze

This review concerns the version released in Germany as 'Flotte Teens und die neue Schulmieze'. During the first twenty minutes we see Gloria Guida and some pals drive around aimlessly in footage from `Peccati di gioventù' (1975). Suddenly we switch to Edwige Fenech starting work as an English teacher at a boy's college in `L'Insegnante va in Collegio' (1978). No further attempts are made to edit the two films together. Gloria and Edwige may both be featured on the poster, but they never shared the screen together.

Only people as dimwitted as the men in the latter portion of the film would fail to notice Guida's complete absence after La Fenech enters the picture. But being a Fenech fan, you won't hear any complaints from me. Edwige has to cope with an even bigger collection of dribbling idiots than usual, ranging from horny students (always including Alvaro Vitali, apparently too stupid to graduate), their parents (Lino Banfi, Renzo Montagnani) and moronic teachers (Carlo Sposito, Gianfranco D'angelo). Lucky for them Edwige is willing to stand in as the gym teacher as well. Compared to her other two outings as 'L'Insegnante', this one features only the minimum required nude scenes by Fenech: a strip tease fantasy (in the classroom) and a short shower sequence (power to the peep-hole).

Now if they really wanted to make something original, they should have spliced some more scenes with Gloria Guida in there. For after those first twenty minutes, `Peccati di gioventù' turned into a murder mystery in which Gloria plots to kill her step-mother. Combining that into a crass sex comedy like `L'Insegnante va in Collegio' would certainly have ensured a cult following. But then they could not have used the title `Flotte Teens', which was probably their only reason to hire an editor in the first place.

5 out of 10

This is just so awful that it is hard to comprehend that it was ever made. Yet, I understand the series was popular in Italy at the time. Presumably, one or two of these overgrown schoolboys playing buffoons were popular in themselves. Fashions come and go, however, and I doubt they would have a fan on the planet now. The drawn out slapstick gags come one after the other, each more unfunny than the last and all accompanied by the cast laughing uproariously to their own stunts. The lovely Edwige Fenech, of course is ravishing throughout, but deigns not to take her clothes off as much as in the first film. There must have been cinema-goers, like me now for instance, who might have been tempted to see the film just for the lady but I feel it has to be admitted that their really was an audience for this stuff in the late 70s. Pretty likely that some highly considered gems of today will look a little flat when the fame has faded away. Just worth it for Edwige.

Gianfranco D'Angelo, who was Professor Puntiglio in The School Teacher, is back with his Hitler mustache at a new school as Professor Strumolo. He is still teaching physical education, but is no longer going with Edwige Fenech, who is Monica Sebastiani, no longer a tutor, but a teacher at a Catholic boy's school. Reminds me of my typing teacher, who was also the only female at the school I went to.

Fenech doesn't waste time displaying her ample assets as she performs a striptease in class. It was just a student's (Leo Colonna) fantasy.

We don't see her again until later in the shower. I thought the boys would have a peephole, but no. Poor Carlo (Colonna) is pining away and getting nowhere.

While he is pining, his dad is trying to get Monica himself. But, mostly, the movie was students pulling silly pranks on their professors.

The movie didn't seem to have a purpose, and, if they made half the effort they did on the first, it would have been good.

The blurb on the back of the recent DVD claims that these "scholastic" Italian sex comedies were forerunners of the American teen comedies of the 80's. While anticipating such 80's teen classics as "Private Lessons", "My Tutor", and "They're Playing with Fire" isn't necessarily something to brag about, this is not really true anyway. Aside from being set ostensibly in high schools, these films are nothing like their American cousins (for instance, the "students" are about thirty years old on average and far more interested in pulling juvenile pranks than losing their virginity). They are actually pretty typical of 70's Italian sex comedies in general, and pretty much the bottom of the barrel of that particular genre (which was never too far from the bottom of the barrel itself).

These "scholastic" sex comedies (for lack of a better term) consisted mainly of two series--the "Insegnante" series where Edwige Fenech plays a sexy teacher who drives men of all ages crazy with lust, and the "Liceale" series where Gloria Guida plays a sexy student who does pretty much the same. The two actresses were actually little more than five years apart in age, but it's all relative really since they're BOTH obviously younger than most of the male "students" in these flicks. Strangely, while both of these series shared common directors (i.e. Mariano Laurenti, Massimo Tarantini) and comic male actors (i.e. Lino Banfi, Alvaro Vitali), the "Insegnante" (Fenech) never did meet the "Liceale" (Guida) on screen. This is unfortunate because the woman are BY FAR the best thing in any of these movies.

The plot of this particular one involves a wealthy industrialist (Renzo Montagnini) and his assistant (Lino Banfi) who are hiding out from kidnappers in a provincial Italian town. The industrialist hires the new local school teacher to give him foreign language lessons (for reasons that eluded me). Meanwhile, the industrialist's son and his fellow male students (including Alvaro Vitali, once again playing the world's oldest teenager) plot to get into their sexy teacher's panties. Fenech has only a couple of nude scenes (the best is a fantasy sequence where she strips for her class). She really is one of the sexiest women in the history of cinema (the DVD blurb is right about something at least), but frankly she's had a lot more nude scenes in A LOT better movies. And even if Fenech and Guida had ever appeared together in any of these movies, it still probably wouldn't have salvaged the stupid plots and painfully unfunny comedy. Fenech, by herself, certainly doesn't manage it here.

School Teacher in College, The (1978)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

A sexy school teacher (Edwige Fenech) arrives at a boys only Catholic school where everyone falls for her and that includes on kid's father who just happens to be a millionaire but is undercover acting poor. This second film in the series isn't connected to the first one as Fenech is playing a different character all together. Several cast members from the first film appear here but as with Fenech, they're playing different characters. Whereas the first film was cheap fun the same can't be said here as the laughs are hard to come by. There's a lot of politically incorrect talk and most of the jokes take aim at gay people and there are countless situations where straight men are mistaken for gays and various words are thrown at this. The screenplay is also rather weak because not too much happens except for various people drooling over Fenech, which doesn't take much considering how beautiful she is. The supporting cast is completely forgettable but a lot of this is due to the weak screenplay. Fenech is also not as good as the previous film but she still has that wonderful body to show off, which she does. I did like her character more here as she isn't a push over and really stands up for what she believes in. The highlight of the film is when Fenech first starts her job and one of the students has a daydream of her stripping for the class. This happens early on in the film so the rest is pretty much a drag.