Barracuda

I would love to hear the story behind how Barracuda got made. My guess is this: someone penned a land-based thriller entitled "The Lucifer Project" (which is the movies' subtitle) that was about a government conspiracy to control the populace through blood sugar manipulation. The film started pre-production, but someone said "hey, this movie called 'Jaws' was really successful three years ago and now I hear this new one called 'Piranha' is also going to do well. How about we change the title to 'Barracuda' and throw in a few scenes of hypoglycemic fish attacking divers to see if we can make more money".

The fish stuff really is that obvious of an afterthought.

If you attempt to watch Barracuda seriously, it's incredibly bad on many levels: cheesy acting, bizarre plot twists, a hilariously inept police force (complete with the fat comedy relief character) and an ending scene that strives hard for the bleakness that was so fashionable in the late 70s but only ends up being kind of funny instead.

But I will say this, if you're looking for a movie to put on with friends, maybe with a little drink, and run your own MST3K style commentary over the top, Barracuda is an absolute gem. My wife and I had a riot watching it. Unlike a lot of the intentionally bad SyFy channel movies (like Sharknado) that come across as manipulative attempts to draw crowds through corniness, Barracuda is an *actual* bad movie, not a manufactured one, and thus is much more charming and fun to experience.

A top secret government experiment leads to fatal barracuda attacks on the beaches of a small coastal town formerly renowned for its lobster. University biologist (Crawford) and sheriff (William Kerwin) uncover a plot involving a mentally unstable former war-medic (Evers) pioneering research into hyperglycemia and the effect on human behaviour. Compelling on a small scale, with some effective shocks and special effects, "Barracuda" unfortunately spends too little time underwater with its title stars; in point of fact, the last third of the film plays out on land, focused firmly on the conspiracy theories and intrigue.

Crawford is affable if unconvincing, and he rejoins regular co-stars the Kerwin brothers to write, produce and direct this b-grade thriller. Playboy bunny Leighton isn't the typical victim-based leading lady, and has her share of the spoils, while veteran tough guy Freed is largely wasted in an underdeveloped supporting role, with a retarded son whose character literally fades out without explanation after being prominent throughout the first half. Evers is the real asset to the acting ranks, portraying a distant, unbalanced patriot whose purpose and conviction is dangerously misguided, leading to his own personal tragedy.

Crawford – who also undertook the underwater directing – does a capable job with the toothy critters, and it's just a shame that they are absent for most of the second half. The scene in which the beach walker's dog retrieves the severed head of a scuba diver is memorable, and there's the occasional dismembered limb amid a watery cloud of claret to satisfy the appetite for gore. Audiences accustomed to upbeat conclusions will be disappointed, although Cliff Emmich does manage some light relief as the lazy, obese and apparently narcoleptic deputy sheriff throughout the film. A potentially interesting idea, just a great pity more time wasn't dedicated to the barracuda themselves, who despite their rather innocuous reputation, still look fierce enough to substitute for sharks in this familiar role.

The main reason why I often enjoy imitations and cheap rip-offs more than the original they're inspired by is because the people behind it are so much more shameless and extravagant with their ideas. Spielberg's landmark classic "Jaws" spawned a copious number of imitations and suddenly nearly every type of sea animal – whether genetically altered or not – at one point during the seventies got depicted as an unstoppable killing machine. Not just every possible species of sharks, but also piranhas, octopuses, whales and even barracudas. This one, however, isn't exactly the "Jaws" rip-off you'd suspect it to be. If anything, it's actually more of a "Piranha" copy and not nearly as trashy and/or mindlessly entertaining as I hoped. The script tries to be a little too clever, creative and mysterious even though the outcome of the story is pretty obvious right from the beginning. I, for one, think the writers/directors duo Harry Kerwin and Wayne Crawford perhaps should have opted for a cheesy good old-fashioned creature feature rather than a pseudo-intellectual piece of eco-horror. "Barracuda" nevertheless opens promisingly with moody underwater images guided by creepy musical tunes, immediately followed by a scene of two divers getting virulently attacked by the titular creatures. There's something fishy – pun intended – going on in a little coastal town. Simultaneously with a couple of bizarre and unsolved diving accidents, a marine biologist discovers dangerous chemicals in the water, probably coming from Poppa Jack's plant nearby. Likely, the chemicals turn the barracudas into ravenous killers and even appear to negatively affect the townspeople that consume locally caught fish. The middle-section is intolerably boring, mainly because you're completely unprepared for the switch towards a slow and talkative film, and "Barracuda" eventually ends as a full-blooded political conspiracy thriller. The killer barracudas don't even get mentioned or shown anymore. This is a textbook case of misleading – or even downright false – advertisement, really. The alternate title for this film is "The Lucifer Project" and at least that one immediately gives a far more accurate small description of what to expect. Of course, the title "Barracuda" accompanied by a bloody drawing of a sharp-teethed fish devouring a human head attracts a lot more horror fans. Shame.

BARRACUDA (aka: THE LUCIFER PROJECT) opens with a suspiciously familiar underwater sequence, complete with roving camera and generic musical score.

Oh no!

A pair of unwary divers is attacked by the languid, title fish! It seems that some hippie environmental-types are trespassing where they don't belong, taking water samples. Apparently, the Jack chemical company is pumping... well, chemicals into the ocean, for it's own nefarious purposes. Its owner, Papa Jack (Bert Freed) is nonplussed by the sudden hippie infestation, wanting only to continue dumping his chemicals in peace.

This all has something to do with the ornery fish and their cantankerous mood. It's got the townsfolk worked up into a froth as well. Just what is the Jack chemical company up to, and what does it have to do with our government? How many swimmers must be shredded by these toothy terrors?

Alas, as JAWS clones go, BARRACUDA is extremely tedious to watch! It's comprised of lonnnng stretches of skull-squeezing dullness, occasionally interrupted by "action" that barely registers enough to be noticed! Making it all the way to the end is like swimming through jello, while wearing a lead suit.

Co-stars Jason Evers (THE BRAIN THAT WOULDN'T DIE) as Dr. Snow.

Glub... Glub...

I bought this movie because I really thought it would be terrible. I imagine something like "Spawn of the Slithis", or "Nazi Surfers Must Die", but this movie turns into a good one after all. In the beginning, the plot is very silly - barracudas eat people. Amazing. The filming under water, with the barracudas waving their tails while eating the limbs of people is laughing. But... in the middle of the movie the barracudas disappear, and the story, although with poor acting, is interesting. In fact, X-Files is very close to that. And the end is a lot better than one you could expect from a movie called "Barracuda".