The Teenies - Ein College dreht durch

What were you expecting, Sachiel, 400 Blows? It's not exactly high art, but this movie is hilarious. As if there was ever a shortage of ammunition to use against Hasslehoff, this movie has all you could ever need: awkward, Elaine-style dancing; no shirt wearing, ever; and a full-frontal orgy scene. Genius, I say.

the only 2 reasons i can think of to see this movie is (1.) the scene where David Hasselhoff dances with the other cheerleaders and (2.) the scene where David goes into the girls room with another cheerleader and the school nurse walks in. Yes he has a nude scene but its nothing big(literally....)

Unexpectedly strange sex romp has a gang of horny teens resisting shifty land-developers who plan to raze the local high school and replace it with a shopping mall. This probably should have been a garden variety pea-brained libido comedy, and it does, of course, subsume the compulsory parade of birthday suits and ribald chuckles. A differentia of abstract/surreal touches, however, certify this flick as a "stand alone" oddity...malt-shop analingus...a golf course sand-trap portal to the local high school...an ignominious subito dancing scene...the waitress who refused Jack Nicholson toast in FIVE EASY PIECES...future KNIGHT RIDER stud David Hasselhoff(who probably doesn't talk much about this one). Subtleties, all, but it's just enough to keep the viewer slightly cross-eyed with a crooked grin.

All things considered, this is a novelty more weird than legitimately good, but it might be worth a look(if only for the presence of the late, great Rainbeaux Smith, preggers to the max during production).

5.5/10

This is a bad movie, but has some redeeming qualities. More specifically, the movie is intentionally hilarious and stupid. This is in stark contrast to another hilarious B Movie (Cool as Ice-aka the infamous Vanilla Ice Movie)that tries to take itself seriously.

In addition, we have young David Hasselhof playing a High School jock named "Boner" who acts like an idiot. All you have to do is watch him try to dance to see what I mean.

To top it off, you have high school cheerleaders (probably played by adults in their 20's-30's :) ) who fool around with a bunch of dudes and plant illegal substances in the cafeteria food to get all of the teachers and their fellow students high.

Oh yeah, I guess there's somewhat of a plot. A land developer is in cohorts with a sleazy school board official. They want to close the school where Boner and the cheerleaders attend (Aloha??) so that the developer can build a mall or something that will make them both rich. The corrupt school board member rigs a school inspection/audit to ensure that the school fails. While Boner is being a "boner", the cheerleaders attempt to make sure that doesn't happen.

However, I apologize in advance for discussing actual plot in a B movie where there are promiscuous cheerleaders and a young David Hasselhoff acting like a fool.

Bizarre doesn't begin to describe this hellaciously bad movie. A curio of it's time, today the film offers almost no entertainment value except as a method of torture to future international celebrity Hasselhoff. Plot, such as it is, concerns a gang of sleazy cheerleaders trying to interfere with school business. This film does not take place in any world that viewers will be familiar with. Aside from the expected older actors playing teens, the story and script are so completely unbelievable that this is nothing more than a reason to show some crude drug jokes and display some supple young flesh. For these reasons alone it will appeal to certain "midnight movie" fans. Cheap is the word that comes to mind in every aspect of the movie. A hefty, blonde-wigged nurse (portrayed by an actress who's had a few bit parts in legitimate films) tries to inject some campy laughs into the mess, but fails. This atrocity was unearthed from certain obscurity when supporting player Hasselhoff hit it big on "Night Rider" and "Baywatch". And why? Because midway through the film, his character is shown in a group shower and for a few frames David, jr. makes an appearance. This is not going to turn many people on since the Hasselhoff from this film is light years away from the tan, built TV star they are all familiar with now. Still, it is amazing to note that in 1970's drive-in-style comedies, female AND male nudity was trotted out in surprisingly large doses while now the human body is all but shut away while viewers are asked to watch explosions, gunplay, knives plunging into people and other malicious acts. Sex, however, is considered taboo! (Which is why a movie like "American Pie" can come along and break records....it returns to a sort of innocent piece of sexual trash like this movie was in it's day...although "Revenge..." is definitely way down on the totem pole!) Another striking thing is the bodies themselves. People weren't as bent on physical perfection and surgically enhanced looks. The girls are naturally presented (one even has hilarious tan lines!) and the guys are just lean, pale "dudes". The movie has curiosity value, but only a VERY patient person will make it through the whole thing unless they were alive during that time. Bad....