The Wicked Dreams of Paula Schultz

Sexually arousing Elke Sommer (as Paula Schultz) is the star Olympian athlete in Communist-run East Germany. Entranced by Western 1960s pop culture, Ms. Sommer shows up for a publicity photo wearing her miniskirt and busty top. instead of the expected jumpsuit. Her shocking attire brings Sommer to the attention of horny propaganda minister Werner Klemperer (as Klaus). Sommer escapes from his bed and pole-vaults over the Berlin Wall. American black-market businessman Bob Crane (as William "Bill" Mason) saves Sommer from bumbling East German agent John Banner (as Weber). He must decide whether he should sell Sommer back to the East Germans, or keep her for himself...

This stupid, overlong comedy features sex symbol Sommer and several stars from the concurrent CBS TV series "Hogan's Heroes". As a comedy, it fails miserably. There are a few moments when Mr. Klemperer (the TV show's intellectually challenged Nazi Col. Klink) and Mr. Banner (his rotund "I know nothing, nothing!" Sgt. Shultz) employ their familiar physical comic skills. Their efforts are wasted. The TV situation comedy's writers gave Mr. Crane and the series a sly wit that is completely absent from this film. About the only thing it does well is show Sommer in various stages of dress and undress. It's all G-rated, but her incredible sexiness makes up for the tease.

*** The Wicked Dreams of Paula Schultz (1/3/68) George Marshall ~ Elke Sommer, Bob Crane, Werner Klemperer, John Banner

was Ed Wood to direct it.

I saw this on TV when I was about 10 years old and a rabid Hogan's Heroes fan. I was horrified. Yes, even at the tender age of ten I could recognize a terrible film with actors I admired trapped inside it. There's a big difference between playing a not-too-bright character skillfully, and playing a pointless buffoon.

How much of a masochist am I? Enough to re-watch this piece of crud again, 40 years later, when I spotted it online. The ten-year-old me still wanted to cry for my old TV friends, but the 50-year-old me, fortified with copious amounts of cheap wine, managed to appreciate the amusing aspects of Leon Askin's character being Werner Klemperer's flunky instead of the other way around, and to enjoy John Banner's performance… the man never missed; I can't understand why he never won an Emmy. Klemperer in his underwear groping a mostly-naked Elke Sommer was just gross… whose idea was it to give Sommer's character the last name of 'Schultz', providing Klemperer the unenviable challenge of saying lines like "my darling Schultz"? We get it; it's a gimmick film with a gimmick cast, and that's about as subtle as a sledgehammer between the eyes. I'm sorry, Mr. Klemperer; you were better than that.

And Bob Crane was there. Mostly being Bob Crane. Nothing much to report.

I'd love to see the Rifftrax guys get their hands on this one someday.

The absolutely one and only reason to watch this cinematic stinkeroo is to see the cast of "Hogan's Heroes" in a Cold War setting rather than World War II. (And that's a dubious enough reason.) Instead of Nazi Germany being run by a bunch of bumbling idiots, in this film, it's East Germany. The taste of the original television series was questionable, and this film only underlines that judgement. Avoid it if you can.

I, too, tuned in to see the cast members of "Hogan's Heroes" in different roles, though other than Leon Askin, most of them are playing very similar characters. After a time, one gets used to the novelty casting, and the movie itself begins to show through.

Leading lady Elke Sommer is beautiful and genuinely charming, at least in those scenes where she is allowed to act. (An aside: I wish she had been given more to do during her film career.)

On the whole, however, this movie is very poorly written and directed. Most of the physical humor is silly rather than funny, as well as being badly choreographed. Take at most 15 minutes to appreciate said cast members and then turn to something riveting and intellectual, like a rerun of Gilligan.

This trashy cheap comedy has only one reason to be preserved. That saving grace is Elke Sommers. Elke is the most beautiful actress in Hollywood. Her costumes were amazing. They showed so much but still concealed. She is constantly losing her clothes in delightful ways. The scene in the white satin dress is the stuff that dreams are made of. Her expressions, her voice, her accent, her hair, her eyes...I can watch that scene over & over again. That sounds adolescent, but I was an adolescent when I first watched this film. Elke had many other good scenes:her fight with agent outside the club was fun as were the high jump over the tower of bottles; dancing on the bed wearing a bedspread;the torn dress that belonged to Forman's wife (who is also quite comely in a different way). So why not give it a ten? Because the awful script & the clumsy antics of the East German agents rate a 0. I will give it +1 for Joey Forman's believability and +7 for Elke. In summary, not an ounce of appeal for women and only has appeal for men who still recall their adolescent dreams.