The Terrornauts

This movie is one of my childhood memories. Our local TV station used to broadcast it semi-regularly and I recall seeing it several times as I was growing up. As a sci-fi nut I found the story intriguing, though full of holes and very obviously done on a limited budget.

What made me want to track the movie down was, some years later, reading the book on which the movie was based. The book is "The Wailing Asteroid" by Murray Leinster, written in 1960. Like the movie the book is somewhat dated, though I think the book has probably aged better. Nevertheless, I'd still like to track down a copy of the movie and revisit my childhood Saturday afternoons.

Sci-Fi and horror movies don't often win Academy Awards, but that's not necessarily the fault of the films themselves but merely due to the fact there aren't sufficient categories! If, for example, there existed an Oscar for the coolest movie title, it would guaranteed be won by a horror or Sci-Fi flick almost every year! "The Terrornauts" definitely would have deserved the Oscar for coolest title back in 1967, that's for certain, even though it's a completely irrelevant title. There isn't much "terror" here and the main characters arguably don't even qualify as "astronauts" either. Then again who needs the Academy Awards; because I've never seen an Oscar winning film that provided me with so much entertainment and chuckles than "The Terrornauts". Thus far I always assumed that "First Men in the Moon" (Nathan Juran – 1964) was the cheesiest and most pleasantly deranged Sci-Fi movie to hail from England, but that was before I discovered this even crazier and more imaginative little accomplishment from the Amicus Studios. It's practically impossible to describe the plot of "The Terrornauts", but I'll give it a try anyways. Dr. Joe Burke, along with his girlfriend Sandy and co- worker Ben, is running operation Star Talk. His mission is to intercept radio signals from outer space in order to prove the existence of other intelligent life forms. He's devoted to his job because, as a child, he once had a vivid dream about being on a planet where he could breathe normally. But since his project is unsuccessful for the past four years and quite expensive at the same time, a grumpy government official now informs Dr. Burke that the project will be terminated in three months. But then suddenly Dr. Burke receives signals, hallelujah! He responds to them and, before they properly understand what is going on, their entire laboratory is sucked out of its fundaments and into a massive space ship! The crew, including the talkative coffee lady and a nerdy financial auditor sent by the government, is hosted by a tacky robot and forced to participate in hallucinating experiments. They also stumble upon a portal that leads them directly to – oh yes – the planet that Dr. Burke dreamed about as a child! Do I really need to re-emphasize that "The Terrornauts" is downright awesome?!? Whoever wrote the script of this movie was permanently high on excellent drugs and the team in charge of the special effects and costume designs must have been even crazier! At a certain point in the film the group runs into a flamboyant monster with tentacles on its head and one giant eye on the lower left side, whilst on the planet our heroine is chased by green-faced aliens that want to ritually sacrifice her. The warfare during the climax (I'm not even entirely sure against whom…) looks like it could have formed the inspiration for the legendary "Space Invaders" video game and the very last sequences, featuring a French gendarme, are simply priceless.

Back in the late '60s and early '70s, Amicus was a fairly solid and respectable production studio in the shadows of the almighty Hammer Studios. They released several great anthology horror films starring British horror regulars such as Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee ("Asylum", "Tales from the Crypt", "Torture Garden"), as well as fantasy/Sci-Fi flicks ("Dr. Who and the Daleks", "At the Earth's Core"). "The Terrornauts" is a bit of an outcast in their overall repertoire, but definitely a gem for avid cult fanatics to seek out and enjoy!

The Terrornauts which looks like it was shot on a budget for a real and not Walt Disney high school musical, is one of the quirkiest science fiction films ever made. That's in fact part of its charm, a Star Wars type budget would have killed this film.

Three British scientists who are on a project trying to communicate with other intelligent life forms out in space are about to get the plug pulled from their funding. They've got three months to get some results from their radio telescope or the foundation that funds them will cut them off.

One night working late, the scientists, Zena Marshall, Simon Oates and Stanley Meadows actually achieve a breakthrough. It's while suffering the presence of auditor Charles Hawtrey from their benefactor foundation. Even the lunch lady Patricia Jones is around. But the scientists get more than they bargain for when they're teleported to an asteroid where some civilization has left quite a space station outpost to contemplate.

The space station was put there by some civilization long extinct like the Krells to guard against an invader whose got some space ships heading for earth right now. The premise is similar to the one for The Last Starfighter.

What makes The Terrornauts fun and not some total Ed Wood type disaster is the presence of Charles Hawtrey and Patricia Jones. They're of absolutely no help whatsoever to the scientists except both as witnesses to what transpired and for comic relief to the audience. Hawtrey was on hiatus from the British Carry on series and in his droll fey way keeps the proceedings hysterical. He's aided and abetted by Jones who even though she's bewildered by what's going on, keeps a nice even keel about everything. They play beautifully against the oh so serious scientists.

The Terrornauts is a real sleeper of a science fiction film, a camp delight something Ed Wood would have liked to have had credited to his name. But just imagine if the scientists had not been teleported and it was just Hawtrey and Jones. Where would the world be then?

I was constantly surprised by where this film took me.

Initially expecting the the alien spaceship to have hostile intentions against the Earth, it simply kidnaps some miscellaneous and startled astronomers and makes off with them. After that it is nothing like the usual: aliens attack earth, humans fight back but are losing, humans find a clever trick/weapon/chemical/virus and defeat evil aliens (or get soundly defeated and taken over by evil aliens).

They are dumped into an alien base on an asteroid and the fun part is watching them work out where they are, and why. The ending is novel for its time, but a little tacky.

I enjoyed the film very much for its novelty and surprises (not its very basic special effects). It was a "nice" film. It is probably very dated now but I haven't seen it for 30 years.

At first one is confronted by the "Poe's Law" dilemma: Is this a really bad film or is it a really good parody of a bad film?

The answer is neither - this is not a bad science fiction movie, it is a really good adventure for young children. Suddenly the simplistic dialog, comic relief and low budget make sense. This film is contemporary with the second incarnation of Doctor Who (Patrick Troughton) and has many similarities with children's TV programmes of that era. The dialog and scientific explanations have that restricted vocabulary and easy to understand structure one associates with Blue Peter, Rainbow etc. Elizabeth Lutyens' cut down wind and percussion score is reminiscent of the Clangers, Noggin the Nog etc. The characters are one dimensional stereotypes: the mean boss, the handsome hero. his loyal workmate, cockney cleaning lady and fussy accountant. There is also the attractive female but there is no sex or even mild love interest here - that's strictly for grown ups - who are not the target audience for this film.

The special effects are awful and the story is silly. The dialogue sometimes sounds like it was written for radio (when Sandy disappears before their very eyes constantly asking "where is she?" seems a bit pointless). My favourite bit - which even 1960's kids would roll their eyes at - is where the hero has to drop his pencil to demonstrate that despite being in space they still have gravity - as though that wouldn't otherwise be apparent.

So, not a parody, not a bad "B" movie, not a contender for MST3K, just a good space adventure for 9 year olds.