Ein Stoßgebet für drei Kanonen

George Hilton, Edd Byrnes and George Martin play 3 thieves who chase a much more successful thief: Major Lloyd (Gerard Herter) who stole a wagon-load of gold from the confederate army. As soon as he moves into the borderland, Mexican bandits are also attracted by the yellow metal. So much black powder was spent during the making of this movie, apparently, that you could make three westerns with it, but in between all the shooting and countless explosions, "Professionisti per un massacro" displays a certain sense of humor. It is a spaghetti western of the kind that likes to play with the rituals typical for the genre, using coffins and machine guns, and if you like this sort of thing, you'll find the movie easy to sit through... even if it is nothing surprisingly new.

This 1967 spaghetti western features former teen idol Edd "Kookie" Byrnes and Italian western favorite George Hilton. The somewhat confusing plot involves hired gun mercenaries doing battle with a series of would-be tough guys and their corrupt leader.

Byrnes starred in several foreign westerns during this period of his career, with varying degrees of success. Several in 1967 paired Byrnes with Hilton. These were entertaining, though hardly memorable.

Fans of the spaghetti genre will find this one interesting, with both lead actors doing their best to raise the level of the film a few notches. Others beware, this one can be a little hard to follow at times!

Despite the title, this is an easy-going Spaghetti Western with tongue firmly in cheek; plot-wise, it’s basically THE DIRTY DOZEN (1967) out West and with the Civil War for backdrop – as a trio of adventurers (George Hilton, George Martin and Edd Byrnes) are saved from the gallows, so that they can retrieve gold stolen from the Confederates by a renegade band of soldiers led by Gerard Herter (from Sergio Sollima’s marvelous THE BIG GUNDOWN [1966]). Along the way, they also have to deal with a band of Mexican outlaws (who, naturally, covet the gold): interestingly, this is presented as a family unit (albeit a loutish and ugly-looking bunch) controlled by an old woman who all she seems to do is stuff herself with food!

The heroes, then, all have their characteristics: Martin is himself a Mexican horse-thief, Hilton a defrocked priest with a penchant for explosives(!) – this combination of sardonic piety and ecstatic outbursts results in an occasionally hammy performance, while Byrnes is the requisite renegade American (amusingly called “Chattanooga Jim”); for the record, Hilton and Byrnes would re-unite soon after for the similarly lightweight ANY GUN CAN PLAY (1967). Given that they’re technically prisoners till the accomplishment of the mission, their movements are overseen by an officer; however, half-way through, the latter leaves with a girl they come across at an isolated house (whose other inhabitants had all been murdered by Herter & Co.) in order to drum up support for the inevitable confrontation between prisoners, soldiers and outlaws…except that the Cavalry that charges to the ‘rescue’ is from the opposite side, the Unionists, since the officer turns out to have been a spy all along!

Anyway, being a generally light-hearted entertainment, the heroes still end up in possession of the gold – amid brawling, double-crosses and shoot-outs galore! Incidentally, director Cicero would spend most of his later career helming low-brow sex comedies featuring Edwige Fenech and the like. The film under review does provide a typically pleasant score courtesy of one Carlo Pes.

Confederate Major Lloyd and some accomplices desert with a Gatling gun and a shipment of gold. General Sibley sends Lt. Tennessee Logan, together with three Confederate soldiers about to be executed for theft - horse-thief Ramirez, defrocked priest and dynamite expert Steel Downey, and bank robber Chattanooga Jim. They set up an ambush for Lloyd, but the three others ditch Logan and go for the gold, only to find it snatched by the Mexican Camiseros gang. They ally with Lloyd against the Camiseros and then blow up Lloyd and his men, only to be intercepted by a Union troop led by Logan, who is a Union spy. The heroes manage to exterminate the Union men but are stopped by a Confederate troop led by General Sibley, who had suspected Logan but needed proof. The three are given horses and warned not to show themselves in these parts. When Sibley later hands over the gold to the Mexican army in exchange for weapons the three companions, now dressed in ponchos, suddenly drive off with the wagon, pursued by the Mexicans.

Ed Brynes (Kookie!) and George Hilton reunite again ( they had starred together in the lively Any Gun Can Play) in this rather standard issue spaghetti western. It's definitely not as good as Any Gun can Play- the usual confederates, gold, double-cross and double dealing characters feature here but the execution of the tale is a little flat and some excitement fluctuates at times. There's some bizarre characters like the old crone and her gang of Camiseros. The main characters aren't that interesting, however the location and action is decent enough.

Probably the one factor that may attract western fans to "Red Blood, Yellow Gold" is the fact that one of the stars is Edd "Kookie" Byrnes from the television show "77 Sunset Strip". Whether you think that Byrnes will bring some campiness or not, most likely you'll be disappointed in the way the movie uses him. Nothing in the movie makes him stand out from the three other characters he's paired up with in this done-to-death plot (a search for gold). Even if you happen to be a spaghetti western fanatic, chances are you'll still be let down by this movie. It's slow-moving, with scenes that have little to no consequence, showing how padded this old plot is. Also, the last third of the movie is somewhat confusing, with various adversaries getting all mixed up in a way that makes you wonder who is who and what each person wants. Not the worst western made, but nothing about it makes it worth seeing.