The Fastest Guitar Alive

Roy Orbison and Sammy Jackson are both spies for the Confederacy who are planning on robbing a gold shipment. They pose as patent medicine salesmen and Roy also doubles as a dance hall singer.

This was the film that single-handedly killed Roy Orbison's acting career. It's hard to believe now, but in the 60s he was a VERY hot commodity and the Beatles were at one time HIS opening act! This movie was an attempt to make him like the new Elvis in movies, though his ability to play a romantic lead or show any emotion was nil. Perhaps given time he might have been a decent actor, but here he just isn't given much to work with and he just seems like a fish out of water.

So what's wrong with the film? Much of the problem were the songs. While most of Roy's songs were actually very enjoyable (despite having the sound of an electric guitar and orchestra in the Old West), a few of the song in the film were just awful. The "Goodtime Party" song was just awful and the music and clapping were way out of sync. In addition, there was a song by the dance hall girls without Roy near the beginning of the film that had me pondering suicide--it was THAT bad and the lyrics were wretched. The title alone of the song pretty much says it all--"Snuggle Huggle" and it was the only song in the film Roy didn't write or co-write.

As for the writing, it was generally fair to poor except when it came to the "kooky Indians". These supposed Indians were terribly unfunny and were less believable as Indians than when Mel Brooks played one in BLAZING SADDLES (and his was intended to be bad).

Overall, this is a very limp film only of interest to bad film freaks and the curious.

I know people, this movie is as bad as it gets. I'm was a huge Roy fan but surely when he looked at the days shoot, he had to cringe at his performance. Roy was never one to win a beauty contest and his acting, unlike his beautiful voice, was terrible. Out of respect for Roy, I have tried to watch the movie on three different occasions and each time I switched to Family Guy. Rest In Peace Roy, you were a great singer.

No doubt there were even worse first/last starring roles for music stars, but with his pompadour and not-exactly-Ricky-Nelson looks, Orbison is pretty silly as a chick magnet of the Old West. Plus, his wooden acting (though again, we've all seen worse) makes the absolutely mediocre supporting cast of professional actors look stellar, simply because they're photogenic and confident onscreen.

That said, "Fastest Guitar" is a very mixed bag that nonetheless at least tries for something a little different from the usual Elvis-type vehicle for girls, girls, girls and bad songs. It does have girls (the protagonists travel with a caravan of saloon dancers), and bad songs (hoo man, that "Snuggle Like a Buggle in a Ruggle" number is really the pits), but there's an attempt at an actual plot. What's more, that plot involves Confederate espionage in California towards the end of the Civil War. Of course, the intrigue is pedestrian and the comedy (mostly involving some red-face "Injun" stereotypes) is lame. But the movie has the benefit of being produced by MGM at a time when the studio still had (albeit barely) the resources of a big studio, so despite definitely being a "B," it's slickly produced and decently paced, the dancers can actually dance (if only they had good choreography), and so forth. The TV-veteran director does an uninspired but capable job. The result isn't exactly boring, but it's innocuous in pretty much exactly the way a dead-average episode of "Petticoat Junction" is.

This isn't a good movie, but it's not so bad as to be an unintentional laugh riot--which in a way is unfortunate, because that might have at least made it memorable. It's just an innocuous little product with the novelty of starring a great singer who clearly had no business acting. And one suspects he knew it.

As a fan of Roy Orbison's music I can only suggest you view this film with an open mind. Roy was a great singer, was a horrible actor and shouldn't be what he isn't. The music is sub-standard and the idea that Roy could be a matinee idol is beyond his scope in this piece of tripe. It's been said that this vehicle was to be an "Elvis movie" ... it isn't even that good. The plot is thin, if you consider this a plot! The acting slightly above that of a simple children's television show calibre, the directing is laughable and any attempt at humour doesn't reach heights attained by James Arness! Video tapes and DVDs on this release should last in your library for quite a few years, you won't watch it but the once! Remember Roy Orbison for his music: positive, creative and unique!

Hi, Everyone, Roy Orbison appears to be a nice guy in this movie. So does Sammy Jackson. The script is there, but it is not great. There is a nice plot line that could have been developed in a serious way. Political correctness got in the way and Roy and Sammy seem to be too worried about seeing to it the money in question here gets to almost anyone but themselves.

Sammy started his career as a model during the heydey of the Athletic Model Guild and then became an actor in the TV series, No Time For Sargeants. He was also in Night of the Grizzly which is a pretty bad movie.

Roy might have done a good job if they had the right script for him. His songs are OK and well arranged. Iron Eyes Cody gets a few laughs along with Ben Lessy. Ben Cooper was a big star in the mid 1950s and here he does an excellent job being a bad guy.

Watch for Sam The Sham. He had the big hit in 1965 of "Wooly Bully." I would like to recommend something similar in case you like this. I cannot think of anything similar. A funnier Western would be Blazing Saddles.

Tom Willett