The Fastest Guitar Alive

Singing guitar-slinger Roy Orbison (as Johnny Banner) and hunky sidekick Sammy Jackson (as Steve Menlo) battle more Indians than Union soldiers as they work "undercover" for President Jefferson Davis and the Confederacy. When the Civil War ends, a booty of gold they stole from the USA for the CSA makes Mr. Orbison and his pal WANTED men. They are also desired, but for kissing instead of killing, by pretty sisters Maggie Pierce and Joan Freeman (as Flo and Sue Chestnut).

Producer Sam Katzman, who did "Kissin' Cousins" (1964) and "Harum Scarum" (1965) with Elvis, probably wanted Presley for this picture. After Colonel Parker declined, it might have been offered to Ricky Nelson. Father Ozzie would never agree to a film without complete production control, so that wouldn't have gone anywhere. So, what about Roy Orbison? He had the same sort of record success, and was owed a shot at movie stardom as part of his manager's deal with MGM's record subsidiary.

Orbison received millions from the package, which moved him from Monument to MGM records. The deal turned out to be a disaster, which is reflected in this film. Even the hit records stopped. The best "The Fastest Guitar Alive" song showing was "Pistolero" appearing on the B-side of a minor "Top 100" hit - which turned out to be the last Orbison appearance on the record charts until the 1980s. To make matters worse, Orbison had to deal with some personal tragedies. Roy was better than this.

** The Fastest Guitar Alive (9/1/67) Michael D. Moore ~ Roy Orbison, Sammy Jackson, Joan Freeman, Maggie Pierce

Yes, the movie "The Fastest Guitar Alive" was terrible and Roy Orbison was not an actor. But just like anything else, you must practice to be good at whatever you choose to do. Elvis at first, was not good, but he got better, but then the roles got worse.Roy should have studied first before going before the camera.Granted, he would not have been a matinée idol, but who knows what could have happened if he would have continued with acting.Most big name actors started out in bad movies and acted badly, but as time went on, they learned their craft and some went on to win Oscars.One of the first roles that Clint Eastwood had was a lab assistant in "The Revenge Of The Creature", and you know what happened in his career.One of the biggest problems with "The Fastest Guitar Alive" is that it should not have been trying to be a musical.It just didn't work and the movie seemed to have too many things going on. But don't blame the actors for a bad script, they just made the mistake of being in the movie.And don't be too hard on Roy. He was new to movie making and didn't have anyone to guide him. He gave it a shot and we have to give him credit for that.

Man, it pains me but this is a bad Elvis movie, even by the Colonel's standards, it's the whole single premise of the story, of the fastest guitar alive. No it's not a spoiler it's in the movie title.

The music is so so but still, it's worth a watch to see a young Roy Orbison, that wonderful unappreciated voice is there.

RIP County boy........ The world misses that three-octave glass-shattering falsetto range.

Mercy.....

Hi, Everyone, Roy Orbison appears to be a nice guy in this movie. So does Sammy Jackson. The script is there, but it is not great. There is a nice plot line that could have been developed in a serious way. Political correctness got in the way and Roy and Sammy seem to be too worried about seeing to it the money in question here gets to almost anyone but themselves.

Sammy started his career as a model during the heydey of the Athletic Model Guild and then became an actor in the TV series, No Time For Sargeants. He was also in Night of the Grizzly which is a pretty bad movie.

Roy might have done a good job if they had the right script for him. His songs are OK and well arranged. Iron Eyes Cody gets a few laughs along with Ben Lessy. Ben Cooper was a big star in the mid 1950s and here he does an excellent job being a bad guy.

Watch for Sam The Sham. He had the big hit in 1965 of "Wooly Bully." I would like to recommend something similar in case you like this. I cannot think of anything similar. A funnier Western would be Blazing Saddles.

Tom Willett

No doubt there were even worse first/last starring roles for music stars, but with his pompadour and not-exactly-Ricky-Nelson looks, Orbison is pretty silly as a chick magnet of the Old West. Plus, his wooden acting (though again, we've all seen worse) makes the absolutely mediocre supporting cast of professional actors look stellar, simply because they're photogenic and confident onscreen.

That said, "Fastest Guitar" is a very mixed bag that nonetheless at least tries for something a little different from the usual Elvis-type vehicle for girls, girls, girls and bad songs. It does have girls (the protagonists travel with a caravan of saloon dancers), and bad songs (hoo man, that "Snuggle Like a Buggle in a Ruggle" number is really the pits), but there's an attempt at an actual plot. What's more, that plot involves Confederate espionage in California towards the end of the Civil War. Of course, the intrigue is pedestrian and the comedy (mostly involving some red-face "Injun" stereotypes) is lame. But the movie has the benefit of being produced by MGM at a time when the studio still had (albeit barely) the resources of a big studio, so despite definitely being a "B," it's slickly produced and decently paced, the dancers can actually dance (if only they had good choreography), and so forth. The TV-veteran director does an uninspired but capable job. The result isn't exactly boring, but it's innocuous in pretty much exactly the way a dead-average episode of "Petticoat Junction" is.

This isn't a good movie, but it's not so bad as to be an unintentional laugh riot--which in a way is unfortunate, because that might have at least made it memorable. It's just an innocuous little product with the novelty of starring a great singer who clearly had no business acting. And one suspects he knew it.