Teenage Mother

It's amazing what someone with no budget can do; they filmed this gorgeous-looking film in CinemaScope... or so they say. I learned your CAN be a 'little pregnant'... even if the Suzie says otherwise.i learned that one can easily pick out 'bad' girls.. they wear zit creme all over their face AND lips, they've got MASSIVE (I mean Ronettes-big!) bouffants. The best teachers to teach sex are ALWAYS Scandinavian with what appears to be a 'mild' crystal meth habit. I leaned that being a ten year means going to schools without any teachers, and then found straight to the raceway... Just to hang out! When boys Getty bad, they gang rape 'bad ' girls - WHILST their girlfriends watch!!!!

Man, life in the mid 60's in the states was crazy! Now I know why is as messed up as it is!

BTW; Stanley Kubrick's 2001 skirt hold a candle - either in camera work, special effects... NOTHING to this slice of juvenilla! . I missed out -big time - by might

The film is about a young, pretty, European woman who is hired as a part time teacher in some suburban Mid West town. She is hired to teach sex education and is soon blamed for the local teenagers' sexual activity. Many references are made to a special film made by doctors for doctors. When the town meeting

finally decides to watch the film, a very abrubt change happens (partly due to a bad changeover by the projectionist). We cut to a 16mm film blown up to 35mm and projected on a medium size cinama screen of an actual birth. I've seen

birthing movies before (Mo' Better Blues) but Jesus Christo. Dios Mio.

Extreme Closeup. The film is very old so EVERYTHING is pink. The doctor

uses a speculum. The audience in the cinema is grossed out audibly. It is only the begining. But really nothing any bizarre film buff hasn't scene. Some of the people were even laughing at the people who were grossed out. "oh come on,

that's nothing" They were more right than they knew. A clamp is used on the baby's head. This is inside. A screw is actually turned to tighten the clamp. They are reffered to as "the blades" in the narration. Most of the narrartion goes unheard because at this point the audience is SCREAMING in horror. People

are jumping around and covering their faces. I look back and forth between the horrible screen and the most beautiful girl who is my date. It is our first date. She looks like she is going to cry.

The doctor pulls the baby out with the clamp but can only get the head out. The process is paused for awhile, the head only exposed. I feel like running out of the theater, but realize this film will never get shown again. My morbid curiosity is compelled as is the entire cinema. The doctor continues to try a few times but fails. As soon as the scissors appear, the cinema errupts into mayhem.

Everyone is screaming NO! No no. The rest of the film is blur. there is 5 minutes of epilogue narrative, but noone remembers how the story is wrapped up. The

sounds made by the audience are undescribable. Every girl left the cinema with the same thoughts and were expressing them. "I will never have a baby." A

truly powerful film. I do NOT recommend it. Unless you want to see that.

There are no motorcycles in this film. until the very very end just before the curtains meet.

So this is something like a Frankie Avalon style 60s teen movie right up until the end. The most unwholesome they get is making out on the beach. Then they want to see the instructional video that was made for doctors by doctors. After a short disclaimer the scene cuts to a big vagina and we see the entire birthing process. I don't think I have ever been more shocked in my life. Also, there is no resolution and no teenage mother. Go figure.

Teenage Mother (1967)

** (out of 4)

Notorious exploitation film from the also notorious director Jerry Gross. The "set up" of the story deals with a young, troubled girl who's dating the school jock and wants to become pregnant. Also on hand is a new health teacher, a knockout chick from Sweden, who wants to show her class a baby being born so that they can learn what birth is all about. These two "stories" really don't have anything going for them and they're just here to lead up to the ending, which I'll talk about in a second. These stories are rather boring, although there are some very laughable moments including an incredibly stupid dance sequence and another scene where the troubled girl tries to seduce her virgin, prep boyfriend. The notorious aspect of this film comes at the end when (in graphic closeup) we get to see the video of the baby being born. After seeing this I now know it's best for me to stay out of the delivery room when that time comes

I'm torn between rating this a 1 and a 10. The thing is, this movie is the finest example of something being so bad that it's utterly fantastic. Total 180...while still remaining terrible.

It was made in the mid-60s and looks like it. The dialog is horrible drivel that was clearly imagined by adults at the time who feared for their lives that their children might be holding hands or even more. This is an hilarious contrast with the cast that appears to be made up entirely of B Movie greatest hits type. The delivery of each line is inherently funny in how inhuman and out of place it all seems. Combine this with the message of "wholesome" conservative views--and I'm pretty socially conservative, but this is beyond ridiculous--that seems to tie in with the implication that attempted date rape is just a practical joke, chauvinism is endearing...I do'nt know what else to say. The plot is hilariously bad, the "romantic scenes" seemed so surreal that if a unicorn walked by it would've made more sense and generation gap is displayed as if the two parties are that of the Cold War. There's actually a scene where a father seems to just be giving up on his daughter, not because she's a slut or because she's going out go-go dancing to the worst surf music ever made, but because she's wearing boots of all things. I cannot stress enough how funny this film is due to the delivery of every poorly written line. Keanu Reeves is crying.

The seeming non sequitor of the sex ed teacher's discussion of her special video is intentionally shown in a way that makes it linger in your mind. You don't know how or when it's gonna come back to haunt you until the point of no return. You can't look back.

I saw this about 2 years ago, so I've forgotten about how awesomely bad it is for the most part, but i remember talking about it for weeks afterward. It's disturbingly comical and comically disturbing, though it was meant to be a serious film. If you think you can stomach how bad it is, the pay off will be worth it as you will undoubtedly site it as one of the funniest movies ever, and one of the worst. It's a two-fer.