Der Spion, der aus dem Speiseeis kam

My wife will be happy to tell you that I watch a lot of bad movies, but usually in the genre of "so bad that they're good." The first movie in this series fell into that category, but this sequel moved the "bad" needle way past the "camp" point to the point of no return.

The plot is paper-thin, the dubbing is awful, the sets, rear projections, models, and special effects are grade-school level, and most of the actors are unbearable. The "funny" Italian duo (who I guess were big Italian stars...the short one reminds me vaguely of Larry Storch) never even APPROACH funny, especially with their dubbed voices. (Why do bad movies like this always use voice actors who use cartoon voices rather than normal speech?) You know the movie is in trouble when the director calls for sped-up action (a la Benny Hill).

Vincent Price, who would do anything for money, floats above the cesspool to some degree, especially when he's hamming it up straight to the camera. The other saving feature is Les Baxter's generic 60s score, with whiffs of the Tijuana Brass. If you survive to the end, you'll hear one of the worst closing themes since "The Green Slime."

In the 1960's, during the heyday of the weekend matinée and drive in movie lots, the American movie market burned through film at a truly phenomenal pace. In earlier days, Hollywood had satisfied this need with B Movie quickies: one week wonders pumped out by the now all but dead studio system. Now, in order to satisfy the voracious hunger of the American cinema, film distributors, such as American International Pictures, tapped foreign markets, importing films from Europe and Asia, quickly providing them with an English language soundtrack of sometimes dubious quality and then swiftly firing them into movie houses to fill the ever popular Double Bills.

In the process of converting these films into English, they were often re-scored and edited for content, to remove those dangerous seconds of celluloid that were deemed either too violent or too sexy for American audiences. While this process allowed the distributor to make slight alterations to a film, it remained, essentially, the same movie in the USA as it had been in its country of origin.

Such is not the case with LE SPIE VENGONO DAL SEMIFREDDO and DR. GOLDFOOT AND THE GIRL BOMBS.

Both films begin with the military leaders of various nations being lured into an explosive, and fatal, kiss by the scantily clad charms of the insidious Dr. Goldfoot's robot girl bombs, and both films end with a climactic confrontation between the forces of good and evil aboard an airborne American jumbo bomber, but the events between produce two very different movies.

DR. GOLDFOOT AND THE GIRL BOMBS stars the popular singer and would-be actor Fabian as well intentioned but barely competent Bill Dexter, an agent of the Security Intelligence Command, or SIC. Though he has been suspended by SIC, Dexter is the only one who realizes the threat posed by Dr. Goldfoot. Assisted by Colonel Benson's gorgeous, but frigid, secretary, Rosanna, ( the anything but frigid Laura Antonelli ) Dexter bumbles his way through various clichéd perils to save NATO's leaders from being blown to bits.

LE SPIE VENGONO DAL SEMIFREDDO stars the Italian comedy duo of Franco Franchi and Ciccio Ingrassia as a pair of totally incompetent accidental spies, who, following information from American agent Bill Dexter, manage to track the villainous Dr. Goldfoot to his lair, and then get trapped there by him. Dexter arrives on the scene to rescue the bumbling duo, just in time for the climactic chase and final showdown aboard the bomber.

What both versions share is that neither will ever be mistaken for a great movie comedy. The scripts are weak, the jokes poor and Fabian is attractive, but bland. Then there are Franco and Ciccio. There are no shortage of great Italian directors, singers, actors and composers, but somehow the list of great Italian film comedians is much, much shorter. I suspect that Franco and Ciccio are indicative of the reason why. An even less appealing team than Marty Allen and Steve Rossi in LAST OF THE SECRET AGENTS, it is truly frightening to reflect on this duo of barely talented "comedians" being so popular as to star in over one hundred motion pictures.

Surprisingly, then, it is LE SPIE VENGONO DAL SEMIFREDDO that is the better of the two movies. Without a doubt the best thing about either film is Vincent Price, and his Dr. Goldfoot character is better treated, though barely so, in the Italian release. Because of the increased screen time given to Franco and Ciccio, the Dexter character is presented in a more straightforward manner in his reduced role and comes off the better for it. Lastly, several of the American version's most preposterously bad moments, such as the very poorly done demise of Rosanna's robot double, are wisely not in the Italian cut of the film. The substituted Franco and Ciccio scenes are merely silly, rather than painfully embarrassing.

In watching either version, it is difficult to believe that the director was the great Mario Bava. On the other hand it is, sadly, very easy to believe reports that Bava undertook the job simply to fulfill contractual obligations, and had no great personal investment in the final project. Bava's innovative use of visuals, his mastery of colour and composition, were usually able to overcome the poorer scripts he sometimes had to work with. However LE SPIE VENGONO DAL SEMIFREDDO displays none of Mario Bava's usual flare, and frankly could have been directed by anyone.

The basic concept of LE SPIE VENGONO DAL SEMIFREDDO / DR. GOLDFOOT AND THE GIRL BOMBS is an intriguing one; filled with potential. In the hands of talents like Vincent Price and Mario Bava the result should have been a first rate black comedy. Unfortunately the combination of too many other factors, both behind and in front of the camera, diminished the final result into films which are little more than interesting curiosities.

For fans of Mario Bava, Vincent Price or simply for the curious, both films have been made available on home video. DR. GOLDFOOT AND THE GIRL BOMBS was released in a fair pan and scan VHS edition in 1995 as part of MGM's Vincent Price Collection. It is now out of print. LE SPIE VENGONO DAL SEMIFREDDO was recently released by IIF on DVD in a very nice 1.85:1 widescreen edition.

The first Dr. Goldfoot movie seemed like a lot of fun in theory - a campy, spy spoof starring horror legend Vincent Price as a mad scientist with an army of beautiful female robots. Unfortunately, it doesn't live up to expectations. It's pretty awful, and REALLY unfunny. This sequel, believe it or not, is even worse. To add insult to injury it was directed by the (usually) brilliant Mario Bava, and released in the same year as his classic shocker 'Kill, Baby...Kill!' What went wrong exactly is hard to say but EVERYTHING about this movie stinks. Price really plays it for laughs but the script is rotten. Instead of Frankie Avalon, this time around it's Fabian. And most of the "comedy" is supplied by a couple of atrocious Italian comedians called Franco and Ciccio. Man, they are just SO bad, you won't believe it! The only thing that stopped me from switching this garbage off was perving at the gorgeous Laura Antonelli, who I had previously seen in Massimo Dallamano's 'Venus In Furs', which I highly recommend. 'Dr Goldfoot and the Girl Bombs' is an all time low for Mario Bava, and the worst movie I've ever seen Vincent Price appear in. It's an awful sequel to an awful movie, and my advice is AVOID.

This is the second Dr. Goldfoot movie. What can I say about this film? It is a second rate sequel. Instead of Frankie Avalon, they got Fabian. The film was shot in Italy with a couple of goofy Italian comics. This one was played more for laughs. (Not that they got them.) Vincent Price is the ONLY reason to see this film. He has alot of gleeful fun as the evil doctor.

The final chase scene takes place in an Italian amusement park and is reminicent of an H.R. Puffinstuff episode. Lots of running around and unneccesary amusement park rides.

Fans of Austin Powers and/or Vincent Price will want to see this. Everyone else might be warned to see better films.

The first movie was not what I call a good movie, but it did have a certain campiness and fun to it. This sequel however is just a weird mess in almost every way. The only redeeming qualities were the beautiful girls and especially Vincent Price's more expanded and deliciously arch performance. In regard to Price, Dr Gooldfoot and the Girl Bombs is arguably his worst film(though Green Hell and Story of Mankind are just as poor as well) but he being Price looks as though he was at least he was enjoying himself, though I read somewhere that that wasn't the case. Nothing else however works. The production values look as though that each one came from different films altogether, and it looks cheap, further disadvantaged by some very haphazard editing. In regards to the score, I am going to take a guess and say that the film at some point was re-scored. If that was the case, it didn't work as the music doesn't fit the film at all. The script is poor, with the comedy very ill-judged and everything else has a very overly-corny tone. The story feels padded, and has nothing surprising or exciting. Mario Bava's direction indicates that he was completely out of his depth, because he directs as though he didn't have a clue of what he was doing. Apart from Price, the acting is terrible. Fabian is really bland and looks lost, but what truly sinks Dr Goldfoot and the Girl Bombs is the double act Ciccio and Franco, mugging and grimacing with no charm, genuine comic timing or grace whatsoever. The pratfalls they do here are also hopelessly contrived. All in all, a weird and disappointingly messy film that makes the heavily flawed but somewhat entertaining first film look like Citizen Kane. 2/10 Bethany Cox