Das Kabinett der blutigen Hände

Glamorous and gowned Zsa Zsa Gabor (as Jessica Flagmore) burns to death as a giggling girl removes her jeweled necklace. Three years later, sullen director's daughter Susan Gordon (as Susan Shelley) is released from a religious sanitarium and convent. The teenage young woman still seems have some mental problems, due to the shock of seeing her mother burned to death. The nuns warn father Don Ameche (as Edward Shelley) and beautiful blonde step-mother Martha Hyer (as Francene) that Ms. Gordon needs tender loving care. Since the young woman inherited everything, her parents seem more interested in getting some money...

An appropriately melodramatic and cartooning delivery help make this a fun "drive-in"-type horror movie. It also found a re-run home on TV during a time when TV movies of this type enjoyed great popularity. Bert I. Gordon's "Picture Mommy Dead" probably inspired producers to put more stories like this on their "Movie of the Week" production schedules. Just enjoy the silliness, TV movie style and snazzy score by Robert Drasnin. "The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out, in your stomach and out your mouth," is a mysterious clue. It's set in majestic Greystone Mansion. As a bonus, you get to see Zsa Zsa Gabor go up in flames.

****** Picture Mommy Dead (11/2/66) Bert I. Gordon ~ Susan Gordon, Martha Hyer, Don Ameche, Zsa Zsa Gabor

So many films have yet to be released that it's shocking what does trickle down from on high onto DVD. You'd think whoever owned this little souvenir of 70's syndication would want to start seeing some long overdue profits from it already. They must be working on a Director's cut. Right.

I haven't seen this TV movie for a very long time, but I remember it well. There was a song that played over the credits that was the eeriest thing about Picture Mommy Dead. It was a little nursery rhyme with the chilling refrain;

"The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out, in your stomach and out your mouth," or something appetizing like that. Is it coming back to you now?

If not, check the DVD when it does come out and see what an evening's TV entertainment used to look like in America in the late 1960's. The best thing about these movies is that because there were only a couple of options on the toob back then, everyone seems to have seen them. These were the days of the 75% share for a TV movie. "Friends" doesn't even come close in viewership. For better or worse that age has come to an end and made us less of a family.

34 years have not dimmed the memory of this super low budget thriller. The special effects remind me of a Mario Bava film because maximum use is made of camera angles and light and shadow. Mind you, I only saw this shocker once at a remote air base but, along with the early Dario Argentos (Bird, Cat & Flies), What's the Matter with Helen?, Who Slew Auntie Roo?, and Romero's original Night of the Living Dead, this flick hit my funnybone and I remember its twisted plot and shocking ending as fondly as I remember those schlocky Bill Castle masterworks, Homicidal and Strait-Jacket. Seriously, the film is a fun ride and if you like Grade B thrillers, you'll get a big kick out of it. So, please, put it on DVD before the film stock dissolves!

PICTURE MOMMY DEAD had the potential to be more than a little potboiler. Photographed handsomely in Pathe color amid elaborate settings, its look is far beyond that of the average programmer.

But two things defeat it: an absurd plot and a dreadful performance by Susan Gordon in the central role as the traumatized victim of a horrible murder scene.

The adults are a little over-the-top in performing--especially Don Ameche, Martha Hyer (looking very glamorous), and Maxwell Reed. No doubt they knew the melodramatic material was so overly meller that it didn't matter much. Hyer at least is convincing as a greedy woman who has only one objective: to get her hands on as much estate money as possible after the death of the girl's wealthy mommy and especially a glittering diamond necklace.

Zsa Zsa Gabor flits about once in awhile when flashbacks permit the girl to remember a few events as they unfolded in the past. She's every bit the glamorous creature she always set out to be, and mercifully is not burdened by too much dialog.

Most surprising is that this wasn't photographed in low-budget style in B&W. Instead, the sharp color photography puts it on a higher level than the script would suggest.

The story lacks credibility as it goes along, becoming more and more improbable by the time it reaches a predictable conclusion.

Summing up: Watchable, but hurt by a central performance that is cringe worthy.

I have a strange and inexplicable fondness for horror movies that feature eerie & sinister nursery rhymes… So, in spite of the mediocre rating and overall negative reviews around here, I already knew I was going to love "Picture Mommy Dead" from the very first minutes, because it opens with grim images of a woman's bedroom on fire and Zsa Zsa Gabor lying dead amidst the flames, and we simultaneously hear a kids' choir gently singing: "The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out… in your stomach and out your mouth!" All this happens even before the equally macabre opening credits appear on screen. To me personally, there aren't many better ways to begin a horror movie. Furthermore I also shamelessly admit being an admirer of director Bert I. Gordon, even though he's widely considered as one of the worst in the genre and frequently the target of mockery in popular shows like MST3K. Although his oversized animal attack movies ("Food of the Gods", "Empire of the Ants") are undeniably more entertaining, "Picture Mommy Dead" might very well be Mr. BIG's finest achievements. Sure it's still a little rough around the edges, with some very inept editing and far too many dialogs that are overlong and laughably melodramatic, but nevertheless also an atmospheric film with seriously sick & disturbing themes and several powerfully uncomfortable sequences.

Edward Shelley goes to pick up his teenage daughter Susan in the secluded convent where she spent several years in order to process the traumatizing death of her mother. Susan is the primary heiress of her mother's fortune, which unwarily brings her in a lot of danger. Daddy got married again, with Susan's former governess Francine. She's a totally immoral and money-hungry woman who constantly manipulates Susans as well as her own husband, and she even non-stop suggests calling a head-doctor in order to accelerate Susan's return to the madhouse. There's also creepy Uncle Anthony, a nastily scarred freak who whispers in Susan's ear – in great detail – how her mother slowly and painfully burned to death. Even her own beloved daddy behaves mysteriously, because he's completely broke and only has access to the inheritance in case Susan dies or gets declared insane again. The poor girl soon begins to suffer from awful nightmares and vivid hallucinations, but are they real or inflicted on her by her hypocrite family members? Martha Hyer truly gives a remarkable performance as the wicked stepmother! Her exaggeratedly phony and hypocrite attempts to help Susan remember the whereabouts of a valuable necklace definitely form the highlights of the film! Also impressive are the numerous hallucination sequences, which are quite perverse and shocking for 1966. We have bleeding paintings, diabolical dolls, accusing furry animals and even a spontaneously combusting Zsa Zsa Gabor! In order to quickly cash in on the huge contemporary success of "The Birds", Bert I. Gordon is even clever enough to insert a couple of fierce falcon-attack sequences. The climax is deliciously demented and I daresay even somewhat romantic (in a sick and perverted kind of way). Apart from the aforementioned Martha Hyer and Zsa Zsa Gabor, "Picture Mommy Dead" also features notable and atypical performances from Don Ameche and Bert's own daughter Susan Gordon. Recommended, of course, what else did you think?