In the Year 2889

Did you know that "prevailing winds and updrafts" are enough to keep radioactive fallout (not to mention nuclear winter, earthquakes, firestorms, tsunamis and stray MIRV warheads) from devastating your isolated country estate, no matter how many megatons of nuclear weapons were dropped? Did you know that all you have to do is wait 'several months' on your isolated estate and everything will be OK? I certainly didn't know that, but this movie provided me with a valuable public service!

"In the Year 2889" enjoyed a brief revival a while back when some cable movie program director (Encore's "Action" or "Mystery"?) apparently lost his or her mind and showed this for a couple of weeks. I had never heard of it before, so when I saw the title on the program guide, and realized I was just in time to catch the beginning of the movie, I jumped over to the relevant channel to see what it was about.

Less than 90 seconds later, gagging and sputtering, I jumped BACK to the program guide, saying "WOT THE HELL IS THIS CRAP?!?!?!?" or words to that effect. The expanded information on the program guide informed me that the movie was directed by...gag...Larry Buchanan. Well, that explained it. I should have known.

I never saw Corman's "Day the World Ended" or whatever it is, so I didn't realize at the time that this movie was essentially a scene for scene (even line for line) remake of his venerable clunker. But it makes no real difference. The fact that Buchanan and the film's producers decided to title it "In The Year 2889", a date over 800 years in the future, and then set the movie in a modern day home, with the actors in in contemporary clothing styles and speaking very contemporary patois, tells you every thing you need to know about the shabbiness,incompetence, and half-baked sloppiness that went into the making of this film. And of course, there IS no acting to speak of here, only human marionettes trying to remember their lines and hit their marks so they can say those lines.

Oh my Lord, this is bad. It's not just a Bad Movie...it's an ANTI-movie. "The Astounding She Creature" and "Giant Spider Invasion" are like heavenly pearls of cinematic joy compared to this inert, inept, inane pile of cinematic DRECK. Herschel Gordon Lewis is snickering and pointing at this from Beyond The Grave. Ed Wood Jr. in his darkest days wouldn't have allowed this to be released with his name on it.

If you are a fan of the Corman original, watch that instead . Stay far, far away from this movie. It will hurt you in a way that you've never been hurt before.

You have been warned.

Okay, can we now take Edward D. Wood Jr off that pedestle he has been placed on by retrophiles and acknowledge there are other directors out there whose films fall into the So-Bad-They're-Memorable category? Such a director is the one I am here to talk about, submitted for your approval Mr. Larry Buchanan. Now on this board we have to review one movie at a time so this is as good a place as any to start, especially since IN THE YEAR 2889 just resurfaced on DVD. Larry was hired to remake four of American-International's B movies from the 1950's to be released stright to television. This is his do-over of THE DAY WORLD ENDED (1957). Former child star Paul Peterson plays the Richard Denning role and Charly Doherty fills in for Lori Nelson. The movie begins one day after a nuclear war has wiped out most of the world (but I guess THE DAY AFTER THE WORLD ENDED would have been a silly title, right?) but not necessarily as far in the future as 2889. If you have seen the original you already know the plot. Despite being given only a $20K budget Larry puts his own stamp on the film to make it more than just a remake. It was only hinted at in the original that the mutant prowling around the house was Lori Nelson's brother. In this movie it is spelled out for us in block letters. The one eyed, fanged, claw handed beast is even wearing the remains of a business suit! A rubber mask fills in for Paul Blaisdell's original concept. Not impressive really but it sure saved money. Notice how the "lake" Ms. Doherty and Quinn O'Hara go swimming in is bordered on one side by a brick wall. Also Larry's infamous "night shots" in broad daylight are in abundance. Notice also how we are supposed to go to freeze frame for the final shot in the movie but thrifty Larry saved a lab cost by just having the actors freeze in mid-motion! You may also want to check out THE EYE CREATURES, Larry's remake of INVASION OF THE SAUCERMEN; ZONTAR THE THING FROM VENUS (IT CONQUERED THE WORLD); and CREATURE OF DESTRUCTION (THE SHE CREATURE). For the sake of your own mental health I suggest you not watch them all in one day.

It's been said that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. If that's true, then Roger Corman must feel very flattered. AIP's 1967 "In The Year 2889" is an almost word-for-word remake of Corman's campy 1956 "The Day The World Ended" only with - would you believe? - worse acting, worse direction, worse editing, and a Halloween mask monster. Larry Buchanan did such a terrible job with this neutron bomb of a movie that it's almost painful to sit through. On the other hand, the house is nicer and it was shot in color. Paul Petersen reprises the role of Steve, originally played by Richard Denning, but is so wooden in some scenes that it's hard to believe that this is the same guy who performed so well on "The Donna Reed Show". Incidentally, we have nothing against Mr. Petersen who, after being dumped on by Hollywood, went on to found "A Minor Affair", a very worthwhile organization to aid other child stars. But, back to the movie: we had an uncle who was a wine taster, and he once said that if you took excrement, put it in a bottle with a nice label, aged it for ten years, when you uncorked it you'd still have excrement. Corman's original film might have been junk, but at least it was entertaining junk, and Paul Blaisdell's monster was, if nothing else, imaginative. The "monster" in this film is so unimpressive that it's hard to describe, unless you've seen "Fire Maidens of Outer Space" which, on reflection, compares well with this loser, having about the same production values. In short, no matter how starved you may be for entertainment, don't even consider watching this awful, awful movie.

I rate "1", movies which are so awful that the actors seemingly know it; and "2", awful films wherein the actors seem to be still tryin'. So this gets a "2" from me. Sometimes I reach the "total loser" conclusion and point to the inferior sound and/or lighting in the mix. But even though those elements are adequate here, this misfortune accomplishes "sheer mess" status by virtue of nothing more than most of the cast, and, the extreme unbelievability of the unfolding developments. And - oh yeah - I WILL say that some of the dialogue was noticeably re-recorded AFTER the action; "noticeable", for example, as one character incongruously exhales a giggle, simultaneous with his swallowing moonshine from a jug. In a nutshell, the plot consists of a retiree and his daughter butting heads with a quintet of visitors on the day after a series of nuclear bombs have wiped out the rest of humanity. (THEY are not effected because of the strong updrafts in their neighborhood.) My only other storyline sentence refers to the contradictoriness of much of what follows; contrived, it seems, as we go along; not thought-out. It's one of those classic, head-shaking, shoulder-shruggers which makes you smile because it's so ridiculous.

All in all, it wasn't as bad as many people think - that is if you have a sense of humor. I picked up a DVD of it at the dollar store - hey, expense is no barrier for me. No, it isn't award winning, but I don't consider it a waste of time if you watch it with a light hearted attitude in mind. I think it was made that way, the director must have certainly had humor in mind, otherwise...? I don't think it is fair to pick on the actors. They actually did a fairly good job considering the awful writing and directing that they were working under. If you want to see bad acting, just turn on one of today's soap operas - or should I say over-acting. We have to remember that the actors are following the director's directions and the script. The only actor who was truly not that good was the fellow who played Mickey. The old fellow, Neil Fletcher, did a decent enough job and so did Paul Peterson and the female lead Charla Doherty. In fact she may have been the best actor amongst them all. The monster in the woods was a big joke I will agree. The thing we have to remember when watching this movie folks, is that it was made cheaply and written at a time when we didn't know as much about atomic effects and imagination was running wild everywhere. So by all means, if you see a DVD or VHS of this movie take it home and watch it. Leave any cynicism in another room, don't blame the actors for what they had to work with, and just have fun viewing it.