Die zum Teufel gehen

As much as I love Italian cinema I'm not much for these sixties war films - every single one of them is a rip-off of The Dirty Dozen, but when I spotted Aldo Sambrell wearing a turban my index finger jabbed the record button on the remote so hard I'm sure I broke a bone.

As well as an Italian imitating an Indian, we have Jack Palance sporting some sort of Scottish accent (it's says on the IMDb that it's Irish? That's even worse) and some terrible miniature effects, but the usual story of a bunch of Allied misfits sent behind enemy lines to do something or other is so dreary it still manages to end up being a boring experience.

Jack is Colonel Haggis McKiltguy, raging in a really bad way about his last mission, where his entire platoon got wasted. He's all out to give up on all this army business, until he learns that his opposite number in the mission is the German guy in command of that last mission, Major Bratwurst Von Laderhosen. He signs up for the mission pretty shortly after that! However, he needs a new platoon - how about that bunch of jerks acting like jerks in the jerk squad. You know, all them criminals? That doesn't sound like the Dirty Dozen at all!

So Jack and his bunch of Italian and German actors pretending to be British (except the guy pretending to be Indian) head of to Normandy to do some stuff that'll help the D-Day invasion. You've also got a sub plot about the German guy not being so bad, trying to warn his command about the invasion and going head-to-head with the SS, but who cares? It's the usual barrage of sneaking, knifing, wearing the enemie's uniforms, possible double crossing (hinted at then forgotten), paper thin romance, and confrontation that you get in these films.

There were some laughs to be had from the miniature work at the end (I rewound to see that tiny dummy flying out of the train carriage) and was tickled pink as the last scene seemed to show Jack throwing his gun away and giving up the life of a soldier, then seemingly remembering that he can't actually leave the army that way and picking his gun up again.

I'm sick of these Umberto Lenzi films! Give me an Umberto Lenzi film!

Irish? Sounds like Scottish manx to me. Typical 60s comic type war movie.

I love these stupid, silly Italian Euro War movies. They were made for one reason and that was to sell tickets. Historical accuracy, plotting and didactic character development be damned, these were Spaghetti Westerns with tanks and machine guns instead of six-shooters and horses. The dialog and stories were interchangeable, hell they even used the same sets, stock casts of extras, musical composers and technical crews. It really doesn't matter what the story was about, how competent the acting & direction was, only that you could fit two of them on a double bill and have two more just like it in their place next weekend.

Others have already adequately described the plot. This one isn't any more remarkable or inept than any one of them, and is made distinguishable from the pack instead by who participated. The film was directed by veteran grindhouse pro Umberto Lenzi, written in part by his future modern Italian horror guru Dario Argento in addition to a pack of other writers who obviously managed to see THE DIRTY DOZEN & GUNS OF NAVARONE before concocting the potboiler story about an ornery Irish/American officer leading a misfit platoon of offbeat characters in a mission to impregnate another impregnable German fortress lest the allies lose the war, set a rousing musical score by personal favorite Marcello Giombini. If you switch your brain off you will be entertained.

The cast is a gem: Jack Palance earns more alimony money as the tough as nails Yankee commander with a personal grudge against his unit general that results in some priceless one-liners that if spoken by an actor of less than Palance's worldliness would sound absurd. Future Bond megalomaniac Curd Jürgens is well-cast as the somewhat unhinged Nazi Gruppenfuhrer who finds himself outclassed by a bunch of ex-con commandos -- all of them formidable veteran Spaghetti Western character actors: my hero Franco Fantasia, the always enjoyable Thomas Hunter, Claudio Undari, Bruno Corazzari, and the insane Aldo Sambrell. Legend would have it that Sambrell actually assumed his characters into his person, going so far as swinging by town after the shoot wrapped for a few drinks still clad in his costumes. Here he plays a Sikh knife fighting expert due to his somewhat swarthy complexion. He doesn't even really "act" the role, he lets it seep into his own character & just follows the stage direction.

So it's a film populated and made by legends or semi-legends, with the added bonus of Euro Horror siren Diana Lorys, since after all what good is an Italian genre film without some gorgeous woman to ogle. Jack Palance steals the show with a cockeyed performance highlighted by a half Irish accent that he probably fed with a solid half pint of booze during the course of an average day's shoot. Can't blame the guy for turning it into a good time, and it's fun to play "Spot the Location" during the film: Spaghetti fans will note a valley from GRAND DUEL, a ranch house from SEVEN GUNS FOR THE MACGREGORS (plus a couple other I can't think of offhand) and the same Tuscany seacoast featured in practically every one of these things. It is the familiarity with form that makes them so appealing, though it is kind of hard keeping track of which movie is which.

This is the one directed by Umberto Lenzi and starring Jack Palance. That's pretty much all you need to know about it, put away your history text books, pop some popcorn & enjoy.

5/10

If you like low-budget Italian movies or war films, then this will be a real treat, even though it is probably one of the worst films I've ever seen – regardless of genre. This is unfortunate, because director Lenzi's first war effort, Desert Commando, showed marvelous potential.

The story focuses on a band of British ex-cons, who are recruited by Scottish Colonel MacPherson (Jack Palance) to clear a path for British commandos through a minefield off the Normandy coast on the night of June 4th, 1944. When the commando force is ambushed by a German PT Boat, MacPherson becomes obsessed with taking on their mission: destroy a huge railroad gun which threatens the imminent Allied landings, which happens to be commanded by his nemesis, Colonel Ackerman (Wolfgang Preiss), much to the dismay of his men.

Lenzi's second war film is, for all intents and purposes, a combination of three classic war movies: the indestructible artillery and impossible mission theme of The Guns of Navarone; the rivalry between Allied and Axis extremists, not to mention the central steam engine of The Train; and the now-familiar anti-hero characters of The Dirty Dozen. This is a fast-paced movie about a bunch of guys on the run, racing against the clock to complete their mission. The characters are never really fleshed out, but for a low-budget action film, they've got more dimensionality than we've come to expect.

Palance never makes a very convincing leader. At his best, he tries to be human, but always returns to being a tough bully. He's got a mission and will stop at nothing to accomplish it, even though it means the death of just about everyone under his command. On one hand, he has a responsibility to save Allied lives by destroying the railroad gun, but his real goal is always, clearly, personal prejudice, and it's not admirable.

What's more admirable are the attitudes of his men: Guido Lollobrigida (Commando Attack) is one of the ex-cons, who realizes the error of his ways and is now willing to fight because his duty is to his country. Helmut Schneider is excellent in a very under-developed part of a humanitarian, who can't agree with MacPherson but goes along because he's a concentration camp survivor and wants vengeance. Thomas Hunter is fun to watch as an American captain who got conned into the mission because of his specialty in demolitions. At first, he's a coward who wants to be back at a desk job chasing girls, but proves his courage under fire more than once. Roberto Undari and Bruno Corazzari are the rebels of the group, who are constantly bickering with MacPherson, but always stick with him because they know he is their only chance for surviving behind enemy territory. That's where the depth hits rock bottom. Every time men threaten to abandon the mission, MacPherson simply yells and threatens to shoot them, and the discussion is over. There's not much moral drama to be explored, and once the point is made, it's dropped and Lenzi moves on to more important things.

Don't let me mislead you – this is an action movie and is not meant to be anything more, but substance and character are necessary to make the action have an impact. On the action level alone, Lenzi fails miserably – though not as badly as he would years later in the infamous "Bridge to Hell". Working with a low budget this time around, Lenzi and his production crew obviously couldn't afford much in the way of pyrotechnics or extras, and as director, Lenzi tries to cover this up – and doesn't do a very good job. The many combat scenes consist of skirmishes between small bands of men, a dozen or so at the most, and consist mainly of quick zoom-ins, frequent cutting and rapid shift of focus. This is often confusing and dizzying, and makes the action move far too quickly. It's too much information thrown out too fast, and looks pretty pathetic on top of that.

The limits of the budget are also obvious in the sets. There are not many interiors, and when we do go inside a house or German office building, they're shabbily furnished. Lenzi keeps his focus on the actors so that you don't notice right away that their surroundings don't look too convincing. Many exteriors - particularly near the end of the picture – are set in southern France, but were obviously shot in Spain. Instead of forests or lush fields, we see desolate sand mounds and bare, rocky hills all over the place. As far as costumes and props go, Lenzi also fails to make his movie look authentic. Most of the Germans wear uniforms of artillery troops, often with ill-fitting jackets or helmets. They are armed primarily with Beretta submachine guns, a weapon developed by the Italians. Finally, miniature work is below-par, too, but fortunately this flaw is limited to a single shot during the climax.

On the plus side, Armando Travajoli provides an energetic score which adds to the tension and fast pace. This film is always moving, and there is never a wasted moment: every action, every line, every glance contributes to the story. That is the glue holding this mess together. Lenzi does manage to execute the finale quite well, too. The German train yard looks quite bustling and official, and the battle between the Allied commandos and German soldiers on the train is tense and nail-biting. It's a pity that Lenzi has to ruin this victorious spirit by throwing in a muddled anti-war statement for the film's conclusion.

This is a satisfying action yarn, but offers little besides some enjoyable, pulpy 90 minutes of pure adventure. Despite poor execution, the familiar supporting cast of Italian and German character-actors offers some good turns and provide enough energy to keep the film moving through the final scenes.

After seeing Attack, a great film featuring one of Jack Palance's best performances, war films and Palance seemed like an ideal combination. Legion of the Damned(aka Battle of the Commandos) disappoints however, there are some good things but it underwhelms on the whole due to budget limitations and careless directing.

Legion of the Damned's best components are the music score and the acting. The music is very rousing, and gives the film the tension and excitement that it is lacking in otherwise. The cast is a good one and they give credible performances, with Jack Palance being animated and grippingly hard-nosed(if a little too brutish for a leader), Thomas Hunter clearly having fun, Helmet Schneider heartfelt, Guido Lollobrigida charmingly roguish and Wolfgang Preiss authoritative. The film is not too badly paced, it certainly doesn't drag but it does at times feel rushed especially in the action, there are some great one-liners from McPherson and the conclusion is intense and moving.

It is a shame though that it is badly let down by the production values and the direction. The photography never rises above that for a low-budget late-60s-early-70s TV series(which I am not sure was not the look that was intended), the sets are sparse and dreary with even drearier lighting and the editing is very confused and so constantly rapid it's enough to make one dizzy. In all three cases, it is especially bad in the action. The same can be said with the direction too, which throughout is incredibly careless and the film fails to achieve momentum and suspense in the action outside of the conclusion due to the bad editing and the frantic pacing. The script has its moments definitely with some nice one-liners and makes some good points, but has an abruptly jumping about to the next point without developing everything feel and a lot of melodramatic talk that doesn't develop the characters enough. The anti-war statement intended well but came over as tacked on and muddled.

The characters are generally very one-dimensional, especially McPherson, with some even floating in and out of the story and action, and the story while not dull in pacing could have had more tension, suspense and excitement(which is why it underwhelms as a war film, and a higher budget, a slightly longer length and if the film on occasions had slowed down a tad would have helped) and could have been less jumpy and episodic.

Overall, underwhelming but watchable. 4/10 Bethany Cox