Die Gelüste des Hieronymus

Little seen ego-trip for the resistible talents of writer/producer/director/composer/star Anthony Newley (featuring his then-wife Joan Collins) which, due to its copious and gratuitous nudity (including its creator!), is surely the most notorious production ever to be filmed in Malta – and, consequently, something of a holy grail for local film buffs! Given its unavailability, then, I wasn't overly disappointed in the poor (but certainly not unwatchable) quality of the print – and the film itself, possessing a certain sense of style, wasn't as worthless as its reputation would have it!

In itself, a flashy and pretentious semi-autobiographical piece obviously inspired by Fellini's 8½ (1963), it's largely set on a beach where the protagonist is apparently mounting a film based on his own life (how self-indulgent can you get?). In fact, what plot there is resolves itself into a music-hall revue with plenty of rather quaint musical numbers (one of which is reprised ad nauseam throughout) by Newley and others. These, however, are often interrupted by the surprising presence of legendary American showmen George Jessel (as a wise-cracking, white-clad Angel Of Death figure, dubbed "The Presence") and Milton Berle as the Mephistophelean Goodtime Eddie Filth.

Newley's choice of character names is, if anything, admirably Fieldsan: indeed, here, Heironymus Merkin is torn between Collins' Polyester Poontang and Playboy playmate Connie Kreski's Mercy Humppe (hence the film's unwieldy title). Occasionally, too, Merkin is able to step out of character in order to observe his own actions enacted, in the interim, by a blank-faced dummy! Also incorporated is an irrelevant adult-oriented fairy-tale, entitled "The Princess And The Donkey", involving the intimate relationship between one Trampolena Whambang and a mule (which then turns into a dwarf!); amazingly, this infamous sequence was filmed in Malta's Presidential Palace!! The cast includes other familiar faces such as Stubby Kaye as Merkin's long-suffering scriptwriter and Victor Spinetti as a bewildered film critic who, perhaps justly, blames Fellini for Merkin's (and, by extension, Newley's) folie de grandeur.

There's a possible goof, too, in the appearance of a religious statue in the background during one of the beach sequences; this was supposedly removed for filming purposes and, consequently, has been the cause of much consternation locally to this day! I'm also confused by the film's actual running time: the X-rated version I watched, which one would assume to be uncut, ran for 107 mins. (with the trimmed R-rated version being 106 mins. long)…but the BBFC gives its complete length as 117 mins.!

This is an extraordinary film. But it's not for everyone, and it must be viewed in it's context.

There was a time when Anthony Newley was one of the biggest stars in the world. With two hit Broadway musicals and a slew of movies under his belt, and songs STILL being covered by today's artists ("Feeling Good" is currently enjoying a popular resurgence courtesy of Michael Buble'"), Universal Studios gave him carte blanche to make any movie he wanted. Newley had already established a proved track record of using his own life as source material. Making this kind of film was a logical next step for him.

In many respects, this film is a masterpiece. It is utterly unique; visually beautiful, it looks like a lucid dream. Newley was a master of symbolism, and the way he illustrates different levels of reality and different states of consciousness is nothing short of brilliant. Highly "Jungian", this film is meant be viewed and interpreted like a dream. Many reviewers have lambasted "Heironumus" for it's use of symbolism, but on the contrary, that is the beauty and magic of the film. Anyone familiar with the Western Hermetic Tradition will delight in the eloquence with which this movie speaks. It cannot be an accident that "Heironymus" was filmed in Malta, the home of the Knights Templar. It makes one question how deeply into the occult Newley must have been.

PLOT SUMMARY: Heironymus Merkin, a major star, is making a film about his own life, told as a fairy tale/epic myth. He is screening it for his mother and two toddler children. It is his intent that his children know the truth about who their father is, warts and all. The film-within-the-film is still in production, and Heironymus battles with the studio, writers, and critics for the integrity of his personal truth.

The film is:

about mid-life crisis

an exposition of internalized toxic shame

an examination of the repetition compulsion

A confession

a cry for help

a treatise on the unreality of life

a rare look at celebrity-hood from a celebrity's point of view

a self-portrait of a sex-addict

a dissertation on erotic mania

AND it's a musical-comedy.

The movie is many things, confusing, because Newley was himself confused. Then again, aren't we all to some degree? The greatest thing about "Heironymus" is all the questions it brings up. It inspires deep process, and that is what makes it Art, and a true gift to the world.

I am committed to helping this film finding it's audience.

With a long title and confusing plot, "Can Hieronymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humppe and Find True Happiness?" left me befuddled. Portraying an entertainer (Anthony Newley) recounting his life story as a series of short films, the whole movie feels like something drifting aimlessly in water. It seems like a giant ego project. I'm still trying to figure out what the movie's overall point was.

Since I found this on what appeared to be a pirated video, I suspect that no one saw fit to formally release this movie on video (or DVD). Like one of Newley's later, equally confusing movies ("It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time", notable for an early appearance of John Candy), it's not terrible but seems to have no point whatsoever. You probably don't want to make it your first choice. I have to admit that I'd never heard of Anthony Newley until he died.

Also starring Joan Collins, Milton Berle, Connie Kreski and Stubby Kaye (Marvin Acme in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit").

The title alone was enough to kill it dead in the water but if you got past that and made it into the few cinemas that showed it then the first ten minutes might have finished you off but this hugely self-indulgent picture is actually worth sticking around for. Okay, the gags are terrible and Newley, who directed it, co-wrote it, composed the music and plays the lead is no Orson Welles but there is a surfeit of imagination at work here and presuming it is mostly autobiographical, (his wife, Joan Collins, and children play his wife and children), few artists, and Newley surely is that, have ever been so self-critical in public; it's as if he wants us to hate him.

Fellini, of course, is the most obvious object of his affections, (he even gets a name-check), which probably riled the critics the most. How dare he think he could remake "8 1/2" and as a musical comedy, they probably screamed, and needless to say the film was not just a gigantic flop, both critically and commercially, but often figures in lists of the worst films ever made. It's certainly not always an easy watch; like a traffic accident it's very hard to look at what's happened yet impossible to look away. It's also impossible to ignore.

"Can Hieronymous Merkin ever forget Merci Humppe and find true Happiness?" has to win an award for being the strangest title for a film ever. Partially semi autobiographical comedy in the vein of Fellini and Woody Allen. "Hieronymous Merkin" throws away conventional narrative to tell the story of a director making a film about his life; not to mention it's also a musical. Some parts are dated and hard to follow. Director Anthony Newly was married to Joan Collins. Collins also appears in the film. Collins has a certain expression like, how did I end up in this film? All criticism aside, "Hieronymous Merkin" is quite funny and breathtaking with it's amazing surrealist imagery. If Woody Allen, Fellini and Jodorowsky were to of collaborated on a musical with Jacques Demi, it may be something like this film. Newly can get annoying at times with his inflated ego and sex drive. He tells about marriage, infidelity, having kids, being in show business and his various sex-capades. Memorable dream like images include the Merry go round sequence, Merkin as a string puppet, his bed which lies in the ocean on the beach side and a crazy sequence with a nude girl who is a human wind up toy like object. I sure wish they would release this film on DVD. There are not many films like it. Love it or hate it, it's completely original; especially the super catchy song "Picadilly Lilly". Must be seen to be believed.