Once Upon a Horse...

As you might suspect from the title, 1958's "Once Upon a Horse" is a western farce. If the title didn't give this away the casting of the night-club comedian team Rowan and Martin might have; of course this was 10 years before "Laugh-In" made them famous. Prior to this the western genre only rarely got a feature film comedy treatment, Bob Hope had a couple successful efforts shortly after WWII ("The Lemon Drop Kid" and "Son of Paleface").

"Once Upon a Horse" is not particularly funny but it is pleasant enough viewing and the production design is better than that of most "B" westerns. The casting of Dan Rowan (the Dick Smothers portion of the comedy team) and Dick Martin (the Tommy Smothers portion) seems rather strange as the script gives them little opportunity for their trademark verbal comedy and the only really good visual routine is Martin's beer drinking sequence. Fortunately Martha Hyer and Nita Talbot were excellent at subtle comedy and manage to inject enough minor laughs to keep the film from bogging down.

The Rowan and Martin characters are cattle rustlers who find themselves in a down market for beef. They discover that their new herd is worthless and that feeding cattle is expensive. Miss Amity Babb (Hyer), the local saloon owner, controls almost all commerce in the area and ruthlessly price gouges everyone. An ongoing gag concerns how predatory business people are bigger and more successful crooks that those who are openly dishonest.

Hyer has never particularly impressed me as a straight dramatic actress, but she knows how to gently tease a comic role. It is essentially her film, she looks gorgeous here-absolutely at her physical peak (also seek out 1957's "Mister Cory"). And her wardrobe is an excellent example of costume people earning their paychecks.

Then again, what do I know? I'm only a child.

I love this movie and there was only two movies of this kind with these actors and I wish they were on disc. There wasn't enough movies made with these two people. They were the greatest. Dan Rowan and Dick Martin should be immortalized for the two movies they did plus Laugh In. This is one of the funniest movies I've ever seen. Remember the scene "Have you ever heard cattle?" This is a classic. "The Maltese Bippy" was the other movie and you can't get either one on VHS or disc. I cannot forget the remarks that Dick Martin says as come backs to Dan's remarks. The beer drinking, Dan gets a shot of whiskey and Dick gets five beers for the same price and just drinks them down. It's a chore trying to write this much just to make a comment.

I only saw this flick once under not the worst circumstances, but remember most of the plot. I was in the dayroom of a NIKE air defense site watching a 16mm Armed Forces Motion Picture Service print with my battery buddies, half bombed on PX beer and in a jolly mood.

The plot is very simple, the two perpetrators, Rowan and Martin, of later TV fame, play two hapless rustlers who steal a big herd, drive it into town, and then can't sell it because the bottom has dropped out of the market. Everytime they try to abandon the herd,and take a powder out of town, they keep being brought back and charged more and more for cattle feed and care.

This is ten steps above a Three Stooges movie and just as riotous, but I don't remember any great lines, after all this time, but the flick has stuck with me all these years. You can be assured that there are some good cracks. Those fellows were witty.

This is well worth a rental. Best viewed in raucous company on a weekend afternoon. And bring lots of beer and popcorn; they well enhance the effect.