Voodoo Woman

Random thoughts that popped into my head while watching "Voodoo Woman":

1) Poor Tom Conway. Either he thought this role was beneath him (but took it anyway to keep the wolf from the door) or he was completely out of his depth, because he gives a completely squirrelly and disconnected performance where he is obviously reading from cue cards most of the time. Plus...that HAT!!!

2) Poor Lance Fuller. The guy had a certain way about him, but alas his talent is strictly 3rd tier, and it doesn't help that the character he plays is a greasy slimeball.

3) Poor Mike Connors. He pretty much carries the movie, but he should have carried it straight out the door and into the dumpster.

4) The lead female - someone should have gently taken her aside and told her the difference between "tough noir temptress" and "irritating, hateful harpy". She actually looked pretty good in the role, but every time she opened her mouth, I wanted to punch her.

6) The final scene where the murderous harpy tries to retrieve the final remaining chunk of gold from the edge of the volcanic pit where it came to rest, only to lose her balance and fall in...is the single most badly staged and unbelievable choreography of a "fall" I can remember seeing. Apparently it never occurred to the poor lady to bend her knees.

7) This wasn't nearly as bad as earlier AIP fodder like "Beast With A Million Eyes", and I am sure someone had fun watching it as the bottom half of a Drive in double feature...but 40+ years down the road, it has not aged well. Good AIP/Corman stuff almost always had the germ of something interesting and creative driving them...but this poor cast- off just comes off trite, rote, and derivative.

8) At the end of the day, people who were trying to make a living in the movie business got paid. At least there's that.

Voodoo Woman is not the greatest film I have ever seen, but I have certainly seen worse: A LOT WORSE. There are exactly two reasons to watch this movie. 1: Mike Connors ( Ted Bronson). 2: Marla English.( Marilyn Blanchard). Marla in her final film ( she retired to raise a family), is drop dead beautiful as always ( particularly in a sarong). She is also one of the nastiest women you will ever see in a movie ( she murders two men in cold blood). The only thing she cares about is having gold. Connors is the hero here and although it was years earlier, looks just the same as he did on Mannix. He even reminds me of Joe Mannix in a fight: Connors is also the only one who is not stupid, evil or both. Anyway 4/10 stars 2 for Connors and 2 for looking at Marla English.

Let's face it, this is a pretty bad film.However if you go in ready to make fun of it you can survive the experience.Okay, you'll scream in agony a lot.African jungle fun in a dopey kind of way.

Tom Conway (who spends most of the film wearing a funky chapeau) is using the local witch doctor and mad science to create a "perfect" being.It looks like a varmint that has been on a six week drunk and is in a sack dress.Ugly is being kind.But it won't kill for him because he's using a good girl as his subject.He needs a bad bad girl.

Marla English and Lance Fuller are two petty crooks in search of African gold.Acting lessons for Ms English should have been at the top of the search list.She's a bad girl and lets everybody know it in a performance worthy of a junior high school play.Mike "Touch" Connors is the white guide English & Fuller con into leading the expedition.

English & Conway finally meet and it is a match made in hell.She is the perfect subject to become his voodoo creature because she'll do anything (stress anything) to get what she wants.You will do anything to stop the agony of this movie at this point.

What made this movie interesting for me was Conway wearing that funky tribal hat/headdress/floral piece!Still trying to figure out what kind of dead animal it was.Guess he thought if he pulled it down low enough over his eyes nobody would recognize him.

Truly bad cinema.

This 1950's howler is so bad it's unintentionally funny. Tom Conway portrays Dr. Gerard, a scientist who is turning natives into a monster using voodoo. His poor wife, played by Mary Ellen Kay, is being held captive by her wacko hubby who has no time for her but threatens to kill her if she leaves him. Along comes Marla English as a greedy murderess who has already killed a man to find treasure in the jungle. Her idiot boyfriend, portrayed by Lance Fuller, is along on the safari. They hire "Touch" Connors, (later renamed Mike Connors, of Mannix fame) as a guide. English is a terrible actress, but hey, no one else in the cast were turning in academy award winning performances either. "Touch" (I'm sorry, I can't even type the name without cracking up, I mean, what the...) gave the only half way decent performance of the bunch and that's saying a lot. The monster is only seen briefly, and the ending is predictable to say the least. I would say this movie falls into the "it's so bad, it's almost good" category of movies. It's good on a rainy night when nothing else is on the tube.

An Anemic Looking Tom Conway Along with a Native Voodoo Priest Experiment on Women.

And Create a Mesmerized Monster.

The Unimpressive Creation is None Other than Paul Blaidsdale.

Wearing His Modified Left-Over Costume (with some shelf wear) from "The She Creature" (1956).

So Lackluster it is Carefully Hidden from the Camera.

Marla English is a Balls-to-the-Wall Killer and Gold Hunter who Orders the Men Around like Slaves and Dominates All Her Scenes.

Hidden Away in a Room Guarded by a Gargantuan Native with an Ever-Present Spear,

is a Platinum Blonde (there's one in every B-Movie of the 50's), Conway's Wife (Susan Gerard).

She Falls for "Touch" Conners in a Millisecond.

The Sets are Dark and Filled with Many Potted Plants with an Ominous, Swirling Smoke Filled Pit.

The Movie is in Motion Most of the Time and can be Fun if You Let It.

Pretty Awful even by Grade "Z" Standards.

Clocking in at a Whopping 87 Min. Its an Epic by Director Ed Cahn Measures.

For Fans of Schlock, 50's Horror, and All things Psychotronic...

Worth a Watch

For Others Feel No Guilt to Ignore.