Gonks Go Beat

Beautiful. Two cultures not fitting together yet still trying. How romantic!! And all these songs!!!! Oooh I have a new favorite film like!!! This film is what the youngsters nowadays are lacking!! No twilight without gonks go beat!!

A Space diplomat is deployed to prevent the two countries of Earth from fighting, Beat land and Ballard Isle. They are going to have a show down in the annual music contest. This movie isn't that weird once you get past the premise, it's 5 minutes of plot then a musical performance. The breakup is a lot in the style of a pantomime. The premise is better than the movie, I found myself bored while watching my eyelids fell a few times. It's Trolls world tour but made 60 years before it. This is beats vs ballards, trolls world tour is pop vs rock. If you want a really weird movie this isn't it.

Connoisseurs of dreadful movies cherish the memory of this British equivalent of "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians", stuffed with acts whose plot opposition reflects the clash between post-Beatles rock and slushy romance in the mid-1960s charts. Yes, folks, for every Amen Corner there was an Engelbert Humperdinck, and for each "Hard Day's Night" there was a pop flick like this, with comedians mugging and strutting about the set to give the mums and dads something to laugh at. It should be explained that a gonk was a round, stuffed toy whose gormless features often gaped from the counterpanes of girls' bedrooms. In the catalogue of forgotten UK musical cash-in movies, this one ranks with "Just for Fun" and "The Cool Mikado".

I still have a copy of this film on VHS video, it came out sometime in the nineties as part of a series of British "musicals" including Tommy Steele and Billy Fury. I have seen it available at boot fairs and second hand record/video shops so i guess others were buying/watching at one time. This is the sort of film that can clear a house of unwanted guests leaving a hardcore of like minded (barking mad) friends to laugh themselves stupid (i know from experience) .it is that bad. like one of the other posters i think the drumming sequence is amazing but the lulu sequence with the "gay looking" backing singer clapping is hysterical "darling do try to look as butch as you can, while clapping your hands in the air, splendid!" as the other posters have noted the songs are not great the acting is awful and the story is virtually non existent so all together a truly awful film right! no! in the right mood and with friends of equal IQ (friday night IQ) its great fun. go and find a copy (somewhere in the UK) and watch. PS when i was at college i even tried persuading the film club to show this, but was turned down in favour of the french film Weekend-from the stupid to the bloody boring...

Incredibly rare, mid-60's rock and roll sci-fi obscurity. So rare, most film books don't even LIST the title.

A recent screening of the sole surviving print at Hollywood's AMERICAN CINEMATEQUE, shows that the film is no great shakes, but worth seeking out for the completists.

GONKS tells the story of an Alien who comes to earth to settle a dispute between the two great nations of our future planet. One nation loves rock and roll, the other, ballads. The Alien befriends a bizarre former Record Exec (Mr. A & R) who looks suspiciously like Buddy Holly (if had he lived to join Elvis in Vegas!). The pair hatch a scheme to set up a Romeo and Juliet-like romance to bring the warring nations together.

It works, but not before a bunch of mediocre rock songs and warbled ballads are sung, cheap stage-bound sets are trampled and the audience's patience is worn thin. Meanwhile, on planet Gonk, a bunch of hand puppets runs amok. Gonks were furry toys popular in England at the time.

The biggest highlight is a thrilling 9 Drummer jam session (led by Ginger Baker and Alan White) held in a prison cell (don't ask). Otherwise, it's fairly dull with only a little schlock value.

CARRY ON regulars Kenneth Connor and Terry Scott co-star with Are You Being Served?''s Frank Norton as Mr. A & R. The recording artists include Lulu, The Nashville Teens and the Graham Bond Organization (which included Baker and Jack Bruce).