Beach Ball

I don't know what I'm more angry at - frittering away an hour of my life watching a chunk of this stinker or that it was released by Paramount Pictures. What were they thinking? Yeah... yeah. We're the oldest studio in Hollywood. Know what? Let's chuck all that and put out a retarded beach movie.

When you see Edd "Kookie" Byrnes on any credit crawl, you know you're deep in the Bay of Crap. He's the leader of a surf band - right! - and they must raise a grand to keep their instruments out of hock. That's it. That's the movie. And there's skydiving, race-car driving, surfing and bikini waxing. ...All at the pace of glacier retreat at the end of the last Ice Age. There are four very lovely young gals who are uptight, neurotic Sybils until some bongo thumping gets them to unwind and uncork the cocoa butter. I hung around until I saw them in some rather tame bikinis and then hung it up.

This should be a drinking game. Everyone can knock one back every time someone in the cast says "daddio". Then, relax wait for those DTs to kick in. Oh... and vomit your guts out.

Best part of movie outside the rock cameos is the cars. Two featured: Bill Cushenberry's Silhouette which later became an AMT model and one of the original HotWheels miniatures. Typical early Sixties custom with open hood, bubble top and tuck and roll interior.

The movie also featured a car show that included Bob Urquhart's 1927 Model T Roadster which appeared on the cover of the October 1962 Hot Rod magazine and numerous other magazines through 1964. Car was powered by a 1954 DeSoto hemi and also featured a Cadillac transmission and Corvette rearend. Car is iconic of the "custom rod" era and is currently owned by Jim Gilliam of Des Moines and is being restored to original condition.

Because of Edd Byrnes, anyone in this movie rates a "3" on the Kevin Bacon scale.

Still sportin' his "Kookie" combed hairdo, but looking a little long-in-the-tooth to be playing a teenage surfer boy, Edd Byrnes (as Dick "Dickie" Martin) and his rock 'n' roll group "The Wigglers" are in danger of losing their unpaid-for musical instruments. The college drop-outs fear they'll be "show business has-beens at twenty." Fund-raising Byrnes, sky diver Robert Logan (as Bango), auto racer Aron Kincaid (as Jack) and skin diver Don Edmonds (as Bob) are a good-looking quartet. And, there are many nicely-proportioned, bikini-ready girls to raise your interest...

In an arousing highlight, sweet blonde Chris Noel (as Susan Collins) bounces from her changing room with a parade of bikini-clad cuties. In between enjoying the bodies, you get a severely wigged Diana Ross with the Supremes singing the non-hit title song, the Four Seasons featuring Frankie Valli singing the hit "Dawn (Go Away)" and sandy songs from the Righteous Brothers, the Hondells and the Walker Brothers. Paramount's threadbare swipe at American International's "Beach Party" movies is less than ordinary, but it ends up with some unintended subversive sex play.

***** Beach Ball (9/29/65) Lennie Weinrib ~ Edd Byrnes, Robert Logan, Aron Kincaid, Don Edmonds

... with mixed results. Edd Byrnes stars as Dick, who's trying to manage his buddies' rock trio (Robert Logan, Aron Kincaid, and Don Edmonds) into a successful act. When they come up short for paying their instrument rental fees, Dick comes up with a plan to hoodwink a university for the money to buy their own equipment. The school sends four young ladies (Chris Noel, Mikki Jamison, Brenda Benet, and Gail Gilmore) to oversee the expenditure, with the expected romantic results. Also featuring Anna Lavelle, James Wellman, Jack Bernardi, and Dick Miller as "Cop #1".

With musical performances by The Supremes, The Four Seasons, The Righteous Brothers, The Walker Brothers, and the Hondells. The fictitious band in the film, "The Wrigglers", perform the most songs, generic surf-rock/teen idol stuff. The comedy is bad, Edd Byrnes is terrible and brings nothing but his meager name recognition to the table, and the movie looks cheap. However, the women are gorgeous and often in bikinis, the music is pretty good if silly and imminently forgettable, and there's a big custom hot rod show at the end.

Tell yourself you are studying lesser cinematic history to get through it all.

All teen beach or period flicks deserve their own catagory stars and all should be a 3 or better....if one gets the point.Sadly too many 60's fans either missed the entire scene, were born after it was even current or too young to actually be "in the teen scene" and are just bitter. These are not Academy Award projects nor did they ever attempt to be. All 60's teen films had a positive message entwined within the absolute silliness of the wrap around scenes that glue it together. Look where the Monkees TV show was developed from; the original Batman TV show; most slapstick comedies of the future are all pulled and revamped from these (and others) 60's teen flick's cherrys.....or cherry bombs. It is a good chance to see great bands do songs that they might not have performed (some thankfully) at all. But remember the point of all of these teen berach flicks, this gem included: To have fun, escape into someplace totally or close to unreal and with a happy or comical ending. Beach Ball is a great,a typical 60's teen flick and is as good as any other "beach" flicks of the era. To analyze this or these types of films with the slashing of a "Freddy" movie is missing the point. Beach Ball is total nostalgia from sets, dialogue, scenery, cars, bands, girls and guys. Grab some popcorn, put your feet up, whack it on the TV and just enjoy a period that many wish was still around. Beach Ball still has plenty of smile bits to remind us of our potential to just enjoy these teen era flicks without dissecting it like a stiff lab frog.