Nicht mit uns, Herr Kommissar

Little Walter and his motley crew of robbers decide to get out of London after pulling off a tiny little train robbery. Holing up in a disused monastery off the Cornish coast, the gang start to find the way of life somewhat appealing, could it be that this gang of villains are going to get the habit?

There is no beating around the bush here, anyone outside of Britain are advised to stay well clear of this very British caper. It's amiable if very forgettable, but it most certainly shines as a beacon of Great British sensibilities. It's the sort of British film that would have benefited from having some top line writers at the helm, I smile when I think what Gilliat, Launder, Galton or Simpson could have done with the premise on offer. As it is it, it's daft nonsense that plays out exactly as you would expect, but upon the finale reveal, it still manages to cheer the spirit and bring about a cheesy grin. This is mainly down to the highly engaging cast that have managed to pull the discerning viewer into their new and engaging lives. Ronald Fraser, Barbara Windsor, Bernard Cribbins, Davy Kaye, Wilfrid Brambell and Melvyn Hayes are all instantly recognisable to fans of British film and television, so if you be one of those people? Then give it a go with your expectation level set at amiable. 6/10

After a slick credits sequence parodying the Great Train Robbery (with Barbara Windsor taking over as driver!) this surprisingly elaborate production in CinemaScope and Technicolor relocates of all places to Cornwall were it proves disconcertingly rambling and preachy (if you'll pardon the word)!

Worth noting are brief supporting appearances by a young Corin Redgrave in his film debut, Arnold Ridley treading water before becoming a household name in 'Dad's Army', and former Devil Girl from Mars Patricia Laffan making her final film appearance as Gregoire Aslan's foxy blonde mistress.

A promising premise that fails to live up to its potential. The third rate cast and fourth rate script produce a laugh-free comedy whose only redeeming feature is an appearance from a young Francesca Annis. Watch only if you have absolutely nothing else to do with your time.

CROOKS IN CLOISTERS is one of the weaker British comedy films I've watched. Made in 1964 and shot in colour on what looks to be a serviceable budget, the storyline sees a gang of robbers who escape the long arm of the law by travelling to a remote monastery on an island off the coast of Cornwall. There they must masquerade as monks while attempting to evade the notice of the authorities lest their true identities be revealed.

It's an acceptable enough storyline but it has to be said that the jokes are very tame here and almost unnoticeable for the most part. The character-focused shenanigans are almost entirely of the "fish out of water" variety as these friendly rogues must get used to farmyard animals, cooking, cleaning, and working in the vegetable patch. There are very few belly laughs and as a whole the comedy is weaker than a contemporary feature like CARRY ON JACK.

What CROOKS IN CLOISTERS does have going for it is an exemplary cast of comic faces. Ronald Fraser headlines the cast as the gang leader desperately trying to keep everything together, while Melvyn Hayes is the moonstruck youngster. Barbara Windsor, as the token female member of the crew, is as grating as ever, while Bernard Cribbins spends almost his entire running time getting to grips with a pesky goat. Watch out for an unrecognisably young Francesca Annis as a love interest, Corin Redgrave as a senior monk, and Wilfrid Brambell as a local chap who becomes involved in the shenigans and becomes a valuable ally.

Having pulled over a train robbery where they succeed in stealing a pair of printing plates from the mint, Walt's gang find themselves top of Superintendent Mungo's `to do' list. Seeking to get away from the heat the gang go to a monastery on an England off the south coast of England. Despite finding the life of work and celibacy hard going the gang find the remote location the perfect place for reworking hot nick before selling it on.

Very much of it's time, this comedy features plenty of famous faces from British comedy and a style of humour that is based more on attitude than fantastic jokes. As such it isn't really that funny but is more amiable than anything else. The laughs are expected to come from the juxtaposition of the cockney slang with the monk's dress. It works to a certain extent – but really you need to be content to make do with this style of humour and not much else. I rarely laughed out loud and the set up only brought a vague sense of humour to the film.

The story goes nowhere in particular. I won't be spoiling anything to say that our gangsters soon fall into the monk's life with a certain affection. Rather than go anywhere the film just gets as much mileage out of the set up as possible before quickly drawing things to a close with an unsatisfying and hasty conclusion. It is pretty poor but if you're after a dated piece of British comedy then this is OK but not as funny as the better of the Carry On series.

The cast are OK. All well know faces playing their caricatures to full effect. Windsor is a little annoying and the film uses her for her blonde bimbo looks and her breasts. The majority all have cockney clichés to act out and do it with a certain amount of fun. It's good to see faces like Cribbins, Fraser, Kaye, Brambell and Hayes in a film.

Overall this is not very good but I didn't expect very much from basically a sub-Carry On caper movie. Manages to get some smiles out of the set up but really it's a bit stretched with nowhere to go at the end.