The Skydivers

Joke...Joke....Joke!!!!!

Coleman Franchise was a bad film maker. This is more -- then ever -- apparent in Red Zone Cuba. Wow this movie was slow and out-of-order.

But back to this movie....

It is called The Skydivers, and this is no clever name either. It is about skydivers and almost every scene is filled with, and here is the fun surprise, SKYDIVING!!!! What fun to see people skydiving repeatedly.

Though the idea of seeing skydivers is fun at first, Coleman Franchis quickly flips the idea into overkill! One scene was enough. But to have so many scenes of the same thing?

Like everyone else has said, the actors look like they're reading off of cue cards. And it shows BIG time. There are no real emotions shown by any of the actors, though the emotion shown for the guy who hits the ground(I think that the guy would have made more of an impression in the ground, not just land so neat and organized) is hilarious.

The story is about what the title suggests...SKYDIVERS. Nothing really interesting. We get something about a guy's ex-lover wanting to kill him for breaking up with her. But this is quickly pushed aside for as much skydiving as can be put in one movie.

The only way this movie is decent is when it is being slammed by Mike Nelson, Crow T. Robot, and Tom Servo. Please do not view this movie in it's normal platform, unless you want to see lots of People Skydiving.

You can find the MST3K version on Mystery Science Theater 3000 volume 1.

Little could directors like Coleman Francis, Roger Corman, and Hal Warren imagine that their catastrophic pieces of celluloid excrement would, one day, bring so much joy to future generations. With the help of Mike, Joel, and a couple of robots, of course. Make no mistake, "Skydivers", along with "Plan 9 From Outer Space", "Manos, the Hands of Fate", etc... represents film-making at its lowest level. Lousy directing, flimsy storyline, complete lack of character development, crappy lighting, botched sound, laughable continuity, and, what might be the worst acting I've ever seen all make for a uniquely surreal experience.

While on the subject of acting, I, and other reviewers, are not kidding when we say that every actor seems to be reading from cue cards. After enduring "Skydivers", I immediately watched another MST3K masterpiece, "Sidehackers". As bad as "Sidehackers" was, Ross Hagen (Rommel, "I read your book, you magnificent S.O.B.!") was Laurence Olivier compared to Anthony Cardoza. So, in its raw form, I would highly recommend avoiding this hack job at all costs. However, if you're a fan of MST3K, this is actually one of the best episodes I've seen.

When I was a kid I used to watch the the parachuters do their thing from the back yard of my grandma's house in Lake Elsinore. I often thought that I would make a movie about skydivers. Who wouldn't want to see footage of skydivers floating gracefully through the air over and over again. It turns out that Coleman Francis beat me to it. I mean this is the definitive skydiver movie. No other movie gets into the heart and soul of what it means to be a skydiver. The triumph, the tragedy, the love triangles, the wild parties. My heart was pounding when Beth's plane had engine trouble while she was taxiing down the runway. Would she be able to simply not take off? Pure drama! Then there is the sinister plot of the acid in the parachute! This movie is a must see for all skydivers who own a small airport and are cheating on their wives. Only the drunken haze of Francis' vision could bring us all of this. Coleman Francis' bio says he died of heart disease. Why am I not surprised?

I was cruising IMDb and was checking out the Bottom 100 because I wanted to see if "Manos" was given a boost after the Entertainment Weekly story. What a pleasant surprise to see that "The Skydivers," the movie that I said was the worst I'd ever seen when I rubbernecked it twenty five years ago, has taken its rightful place at the top…I mean, the bottom.

For a while, I thought perhaps the WOAT tag should have gone to a woeful idea for a teen comedy called "Nice Girls Don't Explode," starring archetypal pretty-girl-trapped-by-a-nerd's-psyche Michelle Meyrink, but then I found my Beta cassette of "Skydivers" and came to my senses.

You've heard of "shoestring budgets" – this movie had a dental floss budget. Everything you need to know about the lack of cash Coleman Francis suffered is in an early scene in which a car – a junker with what looks like latex paint strokes across it – pulls up at the airport. As the car stops, the passenger door flies open. The driver gets out, there is dialogue I can't remember (but I'm sure it was as inane as the infamous coffee line), and the driver and another person get into the car. The driver gets in the driver's seat, the other person gets in the passenger's seat, closes the door, and sticks his arm out the open window to hold the door closed! Francis didn't have a friend who could lend him a car with properly operating doors?

Even the centerpiece of the movie – the skydiving footage – is ridiculously inept. And "Skydivers" has the most unconvincing love scene on celluloid – there's even less chemistry between those two than there was between Hayden Christiansen and Natalie Portman in "Revenge of the Sith." At least "Manos" made a lame attempt at titillation with the ladies wrestling in lingerie.

It's a shame I have to give "Skydivers" one star in order to vote (especially when there are apparent "Manos" anti-fans who are giving "Skydivers" 10 stars). When it comes to bad movies, "Skydivers" is back where it belongs: Number One with an ICBM.

Another reviewer speaks somewhat poorly of the musician in this movie, which is a shame.

The "Jimmy Bryant & The Night Jumpers" credited in this movie is actually just "Jimmy Bryant", a fantastic guitarist who is considered a great by other great guitar players. How he was unlucky enough to end up in this stinkbomb of a movie is unknown, and his music was used to poor effect in the film, but trust me.... he's a great guitarist. (or was... he's passed on now.)

Leave it to Tony Cardoza (and Coleman Francis) to take a good musician and make him look bad.

Look here for some info about Jimmy Bryant:

http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql:3b8o1v0jzzva