Der Killer wird gekillt

Mike Hammer (Mickey Spillane) is found drunk and passed out by a police cruiser in an alley; he's taken to excessive drinking since the abduction of his girlfriend and secretary Velma, and is no good to himself or anyone else. Given a second chance and a new license to carry his cannon like .45 by new-found friend and FBI agent Rickerby (Lloyd Nolan) he sets out to find Velma and in the process meets the beautiful Laura Knapp (Shirley Eaton) who he first sees in her bikini as she's getting a suntan on an inflated raft in her pool. She makes a good femme fatale and has a neat seduction scene with him in her dark living room one night. Rickerby puts Hammer on the trail of "The Dragon" (Larry Taylor) a Soviet killer who might be connected to Velma's disappearance as well. The plot is difficult to follow, names are tossed out, and the viewer's job is to try and connect the dots. The pace is all right, directed by veteran Roy Rowland, and Spillane, though he isn't Olivier, grows on you as the film heads into a surprisingly violent ending.

Granted, the other posters have valid comments.......Spillane cannot really act. However, for some bizarre reason, his stilted, monotone delivery works for me.

My major complaint, regarding acting, would have to concern Scott Peters, as Hammer's former partner. He screeches his way through every scene he's in, and he makes it completely unbelievable that his character could ever have been friends with Hammer.

The soundtrack is indeed grating. The crashing score overpowers many of the scenes, derailing the film noirish approach to the material.

Eaton is indeed great, although the usually wonderful Nolan comes across as a bit cartoonish.

That all being said, I still recommend this film, if only for the experience of seeing Spillane play his own creation.

One side note: WHAT happened to Velda????

Mickey also stars as P. I. Mike Hammer, who has been an alcoholic bum for the past seven years after his beloved secretary Velda disappeared. Police Captain Pat Chambers (Scott Peters) gets Mike sober in order to interrogate a a dying man who may know what happened to Velda.

Mike starts his own investigation, during which he meets wealthy society widow Shirley Eaton, who may hold the key to everything. A decent story and competent direction is undone by the casting of Spillane, who comes across like a constipated Merv Griffin sporting a crew cut and a weak voice. Eaton appears in a few swimsuits, but no gold body paint, unfortunately. There's a good fight scene in a barn between Hammer and a guy who looks like Oscar Homolka's little brother. This was a British production, set in New York, so you get to hear a lot of bad phony American accents.

This film starring Mickey Spillane as his hero creation, Mike Hammer, does indeed have its moments. The problem is, if we splice those moments together and remove the rest, the film runs, at best, 20-22 minutes; maybe 25 if you add the opening credits. As such, this would made a great 30 minute 1950's television episode.

Spillane does a credible job of personifying his character, Mike Hammer. The key reason being, Hammer was crafted as a reflection of Spillane. Therefore, Spillane had only to play himself which, after a lifetime of practice, was not difficult.

Then we have to ask, what's wrong with this film? And the answer is, everything that comes between its 25 minutes of glory, as mentioned earlier. In essence, there simply is no film to speak of.

The truth of the matter is that, Spillane, should have been content with the chance to portray his character on screen for the first time -as he thought "Mike Hammer" should be portrayed - period. After all, for years he'd complained that he didn't like the previous screen portrayals (with particular venom reserved for Biff Elliot's performance in "I the Jury" in the mid 50's). But being a writer himself, he wasn't content, and interfered with the film's experienced screen writing staff. The net result was not good.

Spillane tried to paint in a specific background for the film, that included real bits of his life. The end product was right for a book, but not for a screenplay of a, supposed, action drama.

For instance, he insisted on including his close confidant and friend columnist Hy Gardner. Gardner's scene is long and boring, because Gardner himself is boring. If he wanted Gardner included, he should have allowed an experienced character actor to portray him, vigorously, via a good script.

One of Spillane's favorite bistros was one of New York's best German restaurants, located on 44th Street in Manhattan. The film spends a lot of dead time showing him walking to that location, and having protracted conversations with the other character actors in the darkened restaurant. The conversations are long and, for the most part, pointless. I'm certain however, for the publicity, the management was quite happy.

This film serves two purposes:(1) it does indeed show how the character of Mike Hammer should be portrayed to be true to the Spillane books.

(2) It shows how not to make a - almost "Film Noir" - detective film.

My suggestion, see Ralph Meeker as Mike Hammer in "Kiss Me Deadly". Now that's a detective film and that's "Film Noir".

Yeah, pals, I'll bet this is a dream of many writers, to portray his or her favorite character on the screen. I imagine Agatha Christy would have loved to portray Miss Marple, and Dashell Hammett possibly would have picked The Continental Op to portray.

That off my chest, I feel kindly toward this film and was glad for the opportunity to see Spillane as Hammer. I can't say he was terribly good, but one can at least say that his portrayal was interesting, and I don't mean that as a put-down.

It was also good as always to see Lloyd Nolan still around and adding to the film. This sure isn't the best Mike Hammer film, but I found it worth a look and imagine you will too.