Kill or Cure

Kill or Cure ticks all the boxes to make it a 'must see British Film', until I switch off the Video and decide whether I want to erase the tape or not. Frankly, it doesn't work. And it should. And that is the most infuriating thing about this film. Look at the cast and plot: Terry Thomas is a private eye investigating a murder mystery at a health club/hotel (run by Dennis Price). He teems up with an obsessive physical fitness organiser, played by Eric Sykes at the height of his filmed career. In the best British Murder Mystery Genre, they try and bring the murderer to book ahead of Lionel Jeffries' neurotic Policeman. The murderer is uncovered, there is a lovely twist at the end, but I was left with a nagging 'could do better' feeling.

It lacked that vital something. The film was well cast; it was well plotted; decently filmed; enthusiastically acted, but even lacks the charm and appeal of the Agatha Christie Films made at the same time.

I wouldn't say this is an excellant film but it is a solid British comedy and a perfect example of a now extinct genre. Terry Thomas is a wonderful British stereotype with some funny dialogue and a wonderful accent. The sound track is also mildly effective in a cheesy sort of way. This film has a lot to reccomend it but it is also a very standard example of the 1950/60's British comedy genre

British comedy by the director best known for the four Miss Maple movies starring Margaret Rutherford. Terry Thomas is a clumsy detective who's been called to a health club to investigate the strange things going on. When he gets there he finds it be very difficult handling all the clues he thinks point him in the right direction. Police Inspector Lionel Jeffries regards Thomas as being the strange thing going on. Lovely Movie.

"Kill or Cure" is a humorous British comedy mystery that has Terry-Thomas and Eric Sykes sleuthing one another. It all starts when private detective, Capt. J. Barker Rynde (Thomas) gets a call from a society dowager, Mrs. Margaret Clifford. She wants him to look into some strange goings-on at the exclusive place she is staying. It's the Green Glades health hotel, and Captain Rynde is to check in there as a guest. She will contact him after he arrives. But after he does and gets the first note, Mrs. Clifford is then found dead. That's one strike against the health hotel's slogan, "We help nature help you."

So, Rynde must investigate, but he also has to go through the physical routine of exercise, body detoxing, special diet, training, etc. That the hotel has. Naturally, this all goes against his lifestyle and tastes, but what can he do but stay under cover to solve the crime? His personal consultant and overseer is Mr. Rumbelow (Sykes), who also is his nemesis and partner in some of the comedy. Well, when a 10,000 pound reward is offered for a clue that leads to apprehending the killer, Sykes wants to start investigating himself. He doesn't know that Rynde is a detective on the case and suspects him for his prowling around. And Rynde sees Rumbelow's behavior and suspect him.

Enter Lionel Jeffries as Detective Inspector Hook, and the recipe for a first-rate comedy is complete. Some others contribute to it as well - Dennis Price as Dr. Julian Crossley, and Ronnie Barker as Inspector Hook's assistant. The film begins with some humorous dialog, but after that it is mostly in antics and the health treatments that Rynde goes through. Toward the end, the humor picks up again when Rynde and Rumbelow join forces to solve the crime and Inspector Hook takes the brunt of some of their miscues.

Rynde's accommodations are hilarious - he's put in a one-room open-air hut with a folding wall that regulations allow him to close only at night. This isn't among the top comedies for Thomas, Sykes or any others. But, it's still funny and entertaining, with a very good twist at the end.

Here are some favorite lines form this British MGM film.

J. Barker Rynde, on seeing hotel guests lounging in bath robes and night clothes when checking in, "Very informal atmosphere you have here." Johnson, Green Glades desk clerk, "Oh, we don't stand on ceremony here."

Frances Roitman, when J. Barker Rynde orders the same drink as hers from the bartender, "Were you expecting something a little more palatable?" Rynde, "Why, yes. Why, I mean .." Miss Roitman, "It's awful, isn't it? I'm afraid this is one health clinic that doesn't pull its punches."

Miss Roitman, "I don't think he quite knows what he's got himself in for." Bartender, "They never do, miss."

Rumbelow, "Your age?" Rynde, "My age?" Rumbelow, "Oh, come on. We're not going to be feminine about this, are we?" Rynde, "Oh, well, bound down 32." Rumbelow, "Well, that disposes of your age, or some of it."

Rumbelow, "Profession?" Rynde, "Um, bird watcher." Rumbelow, "Really?"

Rumbelow, "Married?" Rynde, "No." Rumbelow, "Why not?" Rynde, "Did you marry?" Rumbelow, "No." Rynde, "Why not?"

Rumbelow, "Mr. Rynde, I'm asking the questions. Are you single by choice?" Rynde, "Oh, indubitably. My profession has somewhat prejudiced me against wedding bells." Rumbelow, writing on the form, "A misogynistic ornithologist." Rynde, "Whaaat?"

Rumbelow, "Put out your tongue." Rynde, "Huh?" Rumbelow, "Tongue... oooh, nasty! Eyes? Tch, tch, tch. Good heavens, I don't know how you can see out of them."

Rynde, when Rumbelow twists his head, "Aaaah!" Rumbelow, "You got as much stiffness as rigor mortis. You've come to us just in time, Mr. Rynde. We ae the handmaidens of mother nature. We'll soon have you in working order. I'll put you down for the lot, I think."

Rumbelow, "Don't look so alarmed, Mr. Rynde. We've had worse cases and pulled 'em through. We are going to take your poor abused body and wring it out and start all over again." "Rynde, "You're not, you know." Rumbelow, "Mr. Rynde..." Rynde, "Captain, and I like my body the way it is."

Rumbelow, "That's better. A moment of panic on the brink, as it were. We get that."

Rumbelow, "I've got you down on my form as a misogynist." Rynde mumbles and says, "What is that?" Rumbelow, "You hate women." Rynde, "Well, I hate getting up in the morning, but I'm not bed-ridden."

Rita, Green Glades nurse, "Listen, you take one step nearer and I'll do gardening in that gap of yours."

Inspector Hook, "Used to call this the gallows oak, you know. Used it for hangings." Frances Roitman, "Uh, no, I didn't know." Hook, "Yeah, good old days."

Rynde, "I'm a duck. A sitting duck."

Kill or Cure rates amongst my "Top 10" films. The dialogue is Brit-hilarious, and Terry-Thomas must be one of the funniest men who ever graced a movie screen. The best part, however, for this Peke lover, is that the real star of the film is a Pekingese puppy named Horatio who charmingly plays a pivotal role. Every Peke addict should watch this film. The director did an outstanding job in catching the true Peke personality on film. Horatio is a gorgeous pup with all the Peke "get up and go" toughness that one would expect from a Lion Dog. This film pokes fun at the British police, British class system, British health farms, detectives, and everybody and everything else. It is full of great wit, charm, warmth and intelligence. In short, they don't make movies like this anymore, and the world's much sadder for it!