Die eiserne Jungfrau

Technically weak, but then I'm an anorak. Delightful story, and invaluable film of the early steam preservation movement in the UK. It is good to see so many traction engines and steam rollers Did I mention the "Safety Valve"? To those in the know I don't need to, the throbbing, sweaty looking brass thing in front of the driver is supposed to be a safety valve, it is in fact a lubricator and clouting it with a hammer would make no difference whatsoever. (Also it is in totally the wrong place!) At the time of filming The Iron Maiden (or Kitchener to give her her proper name) was owned by a gentleman called John Crawley who actually doubled for Anne Helm for some of the driving shots. The Iron Maiden (yes, the name stuck) is still around today and can regularly be seen at various steam rallies around the countryside. All technical inaccuracies aside, just enjoy, they don't make 'em like that any more.

Genevieve (1952) about the annual London to Brighton veteran car rally, and The Titfield Thunderbolt (1954) about plucky villagers running their own countryside railway, were two classic and much loved British film comedies where the charm of colourful memorable characters vied with that of quaint machinery. Iron Maiden exactly follows that formula but comprehensively fails. Why? Most obviously Michael Craig who completely lacks the wonderful redeeming charm of similar obsessives Kenneth More and John Gregson.

It may just be that the appeal of veteran cars as well as old railways was more the countryside they travelled through and that they carried people and all their goods. Steam traction engines in contrast were essentially industrial and agricultural machines - the fancy decoration only applied to fairground showmans' machines. Cars and trains intimately involve human stories - traction engines - seen here just doing circles in front of enthusiasts - don't. The late much-missed TV star steam enthusiast Fred Dibnah suffered the departure of his wife over his unshared obsession with a steam traction engine. Again, for the public, he, his charm and his very human story was the interest, not the ironmongery.

That traction engine obsessive Craig is also a cutting edge aircraft designer is not explained or persuasive. Apart from rare quality footage of the Victor nuclear bomber standing in for a new airliner, the aviation plot is limp.

The film trundles along the runway without ever gathering enough speed take off.

An American airline executive, together with his wife and daughter visit Britain with a view to placing a contract for a new supersonic airliner. However two companies are offering rival products, and between trips to Ascot and Henley, the pretty but wilful daughter wreaks havoc (earning herself a spanking along the way...) whenever she meets one of the aircraft designers, who is also a steam enthusiast. Who will win the contract? Will the daughter find love?.

This Peter Rogers production was a one-off film. It will be compared to other quaint transport-related films (Genevive, Titfield Thunderbolt etc) as well as the 'Carry-On' films. Whilst such comparisons are not unfair, this film is really its own thing.

The cast is OK, with some good cameo performances and minor roles from excellent actors. Some folk will criticise Michael Craig's somewhat stiff performance, but I'm not sure this is entirely justified; he has to play it pretty straight, else he wouldn't be a credible aircraft designer. Could you imagine (say) gurning Jim Dale as an aircraft designer? -thought not...!.

An interesting feature of this film are the steam engines, aircraft, cars etc seen in various locations. We get to see (briefly) the liner 'United States' at Southampton dock, the (very 'Dan Dare' -looking) Handley-Page Victor at the Radlett works, with various 'Heralds' in the background and various cars. An Alvis 3-litre makes an appearance, (as does an Austin Princess I think) and the main cars used (a Cadillac and two Rolls-Royces) are seen in many locations, including several accidental ones; in several shots the Cadillac or the Rolls Royce can be seen 'in the wrong place' in the background.

Other locations used include the A404 (several times), Henley regatta (which would look the same even today), various pubs (which still exist) and Woburn Abbey, (which is used for two different steam rallies). The Duke of Bedford (owner of Woburn Abbey, and a supporter of the steam preservation movement) has a cameo appearance as himself. I think the stream/pond where they fill up with water en route may be the same one as was used in 'Chitty-Chitty Bang Bang' too.

The two main traction engines used in the film still exist, but the aircraft (reputedly XL230) does not; it was later lost (tragically with all crew) in a training accident at RAF Wyton in 1973. A sister aircraft XL231 still exists. Some folk criticise the Victor in this film as not being a credible supersonic airliner; this is right of course, it isn't supersonic and is a smaller and lighter aircraft all round. However it isn't an entirely ridiculous notion; a transport derivative of the Victor was planned, (with seating for 200 troops or 145 airline passengers) in a double-decker cabin.

The script isn't quite first class and there are a few plot holes, but overall this is a very watchable film nonetheless; largely underplayed and with gentle humour, I rather enjoyed it.

THE IRON MAIDEN is a film that feels for all the world like the producers were able to hire a traction engine for a month or so and decided to write a script around it. What follows is a typically genteel British comedy full of the usual hijinks and appearances from familiar faces; it's hardly classic material, but it remains a fun if slight feature from beginning to end.

The film was made by the director/producer team of Gerald Thomas and Peter Rogers, best known for their long-running CARRY ON series, and indeed they throw in a couple of cameos for Jim Dale and Joan Sims early on in a bid to hammer home the similarities. Unfortunately the script is saddled with a couple of stiffs for the lead roles, but the supporting cast is much more enjoyable and includes parts for the familiar likes of George Woodbridge and Sam Kydd. Best of all is the alluring Anne Helm, impossibly glamorous as the female lead.

Ten years after Genevieve, the film makers tried to repeat the success with this story of traction engines. Where Genevieve had several things going for it, like a good story, interesting characters, and the London to Brighton rally, This story just doesn't work. Michael Craig plays Jack Hopkins, an aircraft designer who's hobby is traction engines. When he, after some early sparring , falls for the daughter of an American airline owner. The rest of the story is set at the usual British summer settings, the Henley regatta, and the Woburn Rally, but the story falls flat. John Standing, Ronald Culver, and the Duke of Bedford give good support. One flaw in the story, is that the passenger aircraft Craig has designed, is shown as one of country's V bombers from the 1960's, hardly big enough to fly hundreds of passengers.