Orgy of the Dead

Now here are a few tips if you happen to stumble upon this "movie" and decide to watch it:

-Ignore the script (there isn't one anyway)

-Ignore the acting (the actors say things like "I'm afraid! We are going to die!" with all the emotion that goes into discussions about the weather).

-Ignore the bad makeup, the inept camerawork, the overabundance of "fog", all the technical mistakes.

-Concentrate on the occasionally amusing dialogue, AND on the naked female bodies. Two or three of them are sensational. That's the only way you can get something out of this one.

-And remember that there ARE worse movies out there. Have you seen "Blood Orgy Of The She Devils"? (*1/2)

The only true Woodsian touches in this film (he didn't direct it), are the thoroughly ludicrous 'mummy' and 'werewolf' characters. Much like his 'aliens' from 'Plan 9', they seem to be pretty regular joes. For a 'mummy' and a 'werewolf'.

And of course, there is the ridiculous Criswell. He's always a hoot.

But this movie is short on hoots and overly long on 'hooters'. Basically, the whole movie is a strip show, featuring a variety of resurrected 'ghoul' women doing the bump and the grind.

Although I am a flaming heterosexual, I must admit that halfway through this film, I was thoroughly tired of looking at women's mammary glands. Of course, it is presumptuous to expect any sort of plot in a movie of this type. So get ready for.... you know what? More bazongas!

Some of the girls are o.k., even spirited, for dead ghouls. But none are memorable, and I lost track of the pairs of bazoomies I was presented with here.

This could have been a fun movie. I'll stick to my old Lily St. Cyr short films. Now that gal was smoking!

Looking at the user ratings for this, it is not altogether surprising that most users rate it a one, i.e. terrible. While it is quite terrible, with next to no production values (and it could very well have been made by Ed Wood, who "wrote" it; in fact, I'd classify it as an Ed Wood movie), A.C. Stephen's "Orgy of the Dead" is often at least extremely entertaining; that is, it's entertaining to those who enjoy pure schlock when they see it. If nothing else, this movie offers non stop schlock, ranging from actors who cannot act (but who spout inanely quotable lines, nevertheless), strippers who can't dance, and effects which are anything but special. Because the schlockiness of it is often quite hilarious, I'd thus be inclined to rate it rather higher than a one. Also, to be taken into consideration is that when this was made, it was meant to serve no other purpose than as something to be projected on to the screen at various grindhouse theaters across the country at a time just prior to the advent of harder porno theaters. Hence, it's a relic of an earlier era than our own, serving a kind of sociohistorical value, as well; perhaps it belongs, along with all of the Ed Wood canon in the Smithsonian?

Ed Wood's classic bad movies like 'Glen Or Glenda', 'Plan Nine From Outer Space' and 'Bride Of The Monster' are great fun, and still entertain after multiple viewings. 'Orgy Of The Dead', which he wrote but didn't direct, isn't in their league. It's simply a tedious bore.

A courting couple crash their car near a cemetery where the Devil (Wood regular Criswell) and his Goth girl side-kick are holding a topless dancing competition. The dancers are all dead. The guy and gal are caught by The Mummy and The Wolfman and are tied up and forced to watch the endless procession of talentless titty-dancers. They aren't too happy about this, and after 90 minutes of this crap you'll know EXACTLY how they feel!

It goes without saying that this is a strong contender for the worst movie ever made. Watch it and be amazed. And very, very bored!

Terrible movie that was "written" (you mean there was actually a script to this??) by Edward D. Wood Jr. though he didn't direct it. You could have fooled me, as the incompetence of Stephen C. Apostolof is just as bad - or maybe worse! There's nothing that happens in this film after a man and woman driving in a car have an opening scene crash. They subsequently become captives of an "emperor" (the nutty Criswell, wearing the actual Dracula cape that Bela Lugosi donned for ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEET FRANKENSTEIN) and his female vamp assistant (who looks a lot like TV hostess Elvira). They tie their two victims to stakes and they're forced (as we are) to watch a bevy of topless women individually introduced to do all sorts of long and ultimately boring solo dances. Some of them are less sleep-inducing than others (the cat woman was okay), but they all drone on too much amidst an atmosphere of gloomy fog which often obstructs our view of the best parts anyway. What's unintentionally funny are the occasional inserts of Criswell watching from the sidelines and making lame expressions when he's not obviously reading from cue cards. He's also got at least one funny politically incorrect line which he says to his male captor: "Nobody wants to see a man's ass!" (Heh Heh Heh). Things get even more ridiculous when The Wolf Man and The Mummy (two guys in cheap Halloween costumes) drop by to watch the festivities. * out of ****